|Reviews for Before whom evil trembles|
| Guest chapter 15 . 3/10
I really wish you'd update soon. You're an amazing writer and I really enjoy your writing. I can't wait until you write another chapter but its been a while since you've updated tis story.
| Guest chapter 15 . 2/23
| Guest chapter 15 . 2/23
| anitacm chapter 15 . 2/9
I love the history, please updated soon! ;)
| Crystal-Wolf-Guardain-967 chapter 15 . 1/23
| tealrose chapter 15 . 1/22
Aaaaaahhhhh! No Ardeth! Heeheee, great cliffie, and hope you write again soon! Can't wait to read more! T
| Emilie Bay chapter 15 . 1/20
Oh boy! I missed one! LOL... In the end, where Ardeth falls, it should say "Then he was falling" not "THAN he was falling"
Anyway, it does look pretty, doesn't it?
I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
| Chikixie chapter 14 . 1/11
I’ve just finished reading your wonderful story, I have to say I was more than pleasantly surprised.
There is one major mistake that I as a new reader (and a wannabe perfectionist) found slightly annoying and confusing... the name of the villain:
Waidelsburg vs. Weiβenburg.
Leonard Friedrich Weiβenburg is the man Lilly’s mother want her to merry.
Baron Wilhelm von Waidelsburg is the one who always looks at her breasts or as it turns out (my interpretation) the amulet.
In chapter 5 (Kismet) Baron Waidelsburg meets with Farouq to get the amulet. Later in chapter 5 we’re introduced to the Baron’s ancestor Ulrich Casper von Weiβenburg, who was the one who found the amulet in Egypt in 1167.
In chapter 7 (Thoughts and plans) you call the Baron by the name of William, not Wilhelm. In chapter 7 and chapter 10 (The third disk) you call the person who has the amulet Lord Weiβenburg. In chapter 10 you use the name Wilhelm again.
You also have a few typos, some are kinda funny: dyeing/dying, silver pattern/silver platter and barley/barely (just a few examples).
Also in my opinion contractions like you’re, I’m, he’s, they’re should only be used in spoken sentences.
“Ardeth, no! You can’t...” is ok, as it is a spoken sentence.
‘He prayed to all the gods that they wouldn’t be too late.’ Should be ‘He prayed to all the gods that they would not be too late.’
I know that I’m totally contradicting myself by using contractions in this review, but writing a comment and writing a story is not the same. Have you ever noticed that in books you never find contractions besides in the spoken sentences?
I am no way a grammar or spelling expert, English is my second language as well, but I read a lot of English books, so if you don’t have a beta I won’t mind giving it a go.
Just so I don’t finish this review on a bad note, my “critique” was by no means meant to be negative, I would like to tell you that it’s very refreshing to read a not only well written story but also one with an original story line.
I absolutely love that you didn’t go the obvious route and wrote a story that follows the movies, there’re too many of them already. Kudos to you, for taking the time and effort to do some serious research and come up with your own plot, that didn’t involve Imhotep.
I don’t usually favourite stories, but this one have to go in the favourite category.
I truly hope that you have not abandoned this story, it would be a pity not to finish it. Hope to get an update soon.
| maru chapter 14 . 10/15/2013
interesting chapter :) I hope you can update soon :D
| maru chapter 13 . 10/13/2013
nice chapter! can't wait for the next! :)
| maru chapter 10 . 10/13/2013
| maru chapter 6 . 10/13/2013
It's really good! I just reviewed now because I readed the past chapters just know. It's nicely written and interesting :)
| ZabuzasGirl chapter 1 . 10/11/2013
Update immediately, please!
| yulz chapter 13 . 10/4/2013
Yaay you're back! Loads happening here. Doesn't look good for our heroes, but I have my fingers crossed!
| Crystal-Wolf-Guardain-967 chapter 13 . 10/3/2013