|Reviews for Hyperdimension Neptunia New Horizons|
| leo247 chapter 1 . 9/22/2013
Type your review here...
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
This was very boring and you know script format is forbidden right?
| Some Random Tosser chapter 1 . 7/4/2012
Not to be rude or anything but there are quite a few problems with this fic.
The first one is the use of the script format. Firstly, this is against the site rules. Secondly, it's a bit lazy as you don't write down how characters deliver their lines. Even then, you use it rather inconsistently: Hajin: "In that case Compa could be our mother! "once again adding his own randomness to hers. You have included some detail and, at the same time, no detail. You have to be a bit more detailed, man.
Secondly, you don't do a good job of explaining time and place. Early on, you mentioned that Hajin was knocked into a river. I thought this was a flashback or a past event as there's no horizontal line separating Neptune's following line from the preceding events and you just missed the italics. I didn't realise until you mentioned Hajin looking for the Dogoo for revenge that it actually happened in the present.
Don't be disheartened; we're all only getting better and we all start out on rocky feet. Hell, my remember my first fanfic. It was absolutely disgraceful and I hope it's died.
By the way... you may want to look up how tall four feet is because I don't think it's as tall as you think it is.