Reviews for 730 Days of Convergence
ersay123 chapter 9 . 3/7/2013
Just read all these chapters in one go and was easily hooked by the first chapter :D Love this story so much! Can't wait for this to be updated. I feel like your speculations and theories on unitology will become head!cannon for me XD
Sakura123 chapter 9 . 1/9/2013
I'm really enjoying this. I almost didn't read it because it centralized on Untiology, but this is incredibly entertaining, right down to the characters and their circumstances. Can't wait until you update more.
Techne chapter 6 . 11/19/2012
So they have brought the USG Ishimura into the docking bay? I wonder how this is going to work out for them in the end, I'm sure its not going to be a pretty one. And why do I get the feeling that there are going to be leftovers of the necromorphs there? And if so, what will the unitologists think of all this?

As for Riley, I am assuming that Peter was either on the O'Bannon or the Ishimura, most likely the Ishimura. Is there any possibility of a flashback so that we can get a look at the type of person that he was? Just curious is all.
Techne chapter 5 . 11/17/2012
Yeah, those fuckers would've never been able to get their grubby hands on me long enough to hold me under the water. Can you imagine a mass murder of church people? Yeah, you would've seen that because of this. I can't believe they did that to her! She is playing it coy though, trying to keep to the plan, so I think she's still doing good. Loved her reaction to it though.

Who is Peter? Guess we'll find out eventually.
Techne chapter 4 . 11/17/2012
So, my first thought about Sutton is that she is a complete bitch. I can't believe she is practically throwing away everything in her life for the church, which is stupid as hell. However, I do think this stems from spending to much time with the church. They are definitely doing something behind closed doors and I'm eager to see what it is. Especially with how she reacted to Marcus, as well as Riley and Madison when they were trying to find out from her who gave her that large scar on her side.
Techne chapter 3 . 11/16/2012
I'm curious as to what Riley's defensive demeanor is over the mentioning of a sibling. Not that I didn't expect her that to happen after it being revealed, it was just shocking to see her act that way. She just opened up a weakness in her armor that I should have known they would capitalize on.

As for Lara, that's another shocking development in the story. She was so ugly towards Riley, yet wanted to help her out with not getting tied up in the church. I'm amazed to see where you go with this girl.
Techne chapter 2 . 11/4/2012
So, Riley is joining the Church of Unitology under an alias, eh?

Why do I get this feeling that she isn't going to like what she finds. That there are some things just not worth knowing because it could have dire consequences to the actions that you take. Oh, well. I still think what shes doing is good. Someone needs to get in there, find out whats going on and put those bible thumper's in their places.

My one concern is Sutton. What the FUCK happened to her?! If she was such a die hard Unitology hater, then what changed her mind? Did they pull a Tearjerker (you'd have to watch American Dad to know what I'm saying) on the people aboard the Sprawl or something? That's just not right.

And beings that I doubt I'll get to do this in two days because of it being the day we all head out to vote.

Happy birthday dear!
Wisewun1 chapter 9 . 11/4/2012
Positives:
I love how you brought Stross into the story and left us with some questions about Alexa, and Riley's reaction to this strange event.
Things to Improve:
The dialogue slipped a little in this chapter. Some of it just seemed a little unnatural. Like in the doctor's office. It's not that it was really really bad, it just seemed resistant to flow.
My Favorite Part:
Probably the Stross part. I liked it all. The description, the action, everything.
Overall:
Another interesting chapter and a very good way to ensure Riley will be returning to the church. I can't wait for updates!
Wisewun1 chapter 8 . 11/2/2012
Positives:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! All this drama! Also, I love that Lara is helping! I think maybe Riley and Lara should be a ship. Maybe? Anyways. I loved the idea of the group circle and Daina being a rude-ass bitch about that poor girl's dead boyfriend.
Things to Improve:
A couple lines in the flashback were a little over-explanatory (you probably hate me using that word so often) but it was honestly no big deal. It was so gripping, I barely noticed.
My Favorite Part:
Probably the flashback. We finally get to see why she's had all of these problems. (Is Peter a character in the games? I can't remember...)
Overall:
GIVE ME MORE CHAPTERS!
Wisewun1 chapter 7 . 11/2/2012
Positives:
Yay, maybe Lara is actually a good person! I'm so happy that we might be able to like her soon! I also love how she's now deducing who this anonymous person must be. The little clues and the thought process. It's all so elaborate, and I respect you for setting it up like that.
Things to Improve:
Nothing I can think of at this moment. It's so hard to read like three chapters and then try to review every one separately.
My Favorite Part:
Finding out more about Lara. (Can you tell I'm pulling for her?)
Overall:
More perfection spun in the form of a story!
Wisewun1 chapter 6 . 11/2/2012
Positives:
How you tie in all these major events and show how they affect everyone in the story is just amazing. It's just so thoughtful and intelligent. Honestly, I'm in awe. This whole chapter is just awesome.
Things to Improve:
I got a little confused. Aren't Fiona and Ed her parents? Using their first names isn't bad or anything, but suddenly that's all they are. I dunno. Also, a couple lines were over-explanatory. Like when Fiona said something about having a message. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still love your dialogue and all, I'm just trying to help the best I can.
My Favorite Part:
How everyone keeps correcting her to Isabel Cho 'confessing' to the terrorist attacks.
Overall:
Another great chapter. I can't wait to see how all of these details and characters play out.
Wisewun1 chapter 5 . 11/2/2012
Positives:
Oh, my god! The pool scene thing TERRIFIED me (but maybe it's because I'm scared of slow deaths). I think the scene was executed wonderfully. You left us wondering who the person was, and later you gave him a name. It was all fantastic. This chapter really picked up the action and the creepiness.
Things to Improve:
Sometimes I feel that you use Riley's fake name in quotations a little too often. I don't know, maybe it's just me. And, it's not a big problem, it just kind of makes me think Lara is suspicious of her...?
My Favorite Part:
The pool scene. For sure. As creepy as it was, it was perfectly relate-able and descriptive.
Overall:
A sparkling addition that adds to the suspense and action of the story.
Wisewun1 chapter 4 . 11/2/2012
Positives:
Once again, this chapter was phenomenal. I liked how it started with DeMaio and how Ellie was a minor detail. All these small clues and over-laps are delicious. And the scar! What's going on?!
Things to Improve:
Again, I don't think there was much to fix in this chapter. It was all flowing and easy to read.
My Favorite Part:
I just loved it all. How you tied in all the details and it's just all so wonderful.
Overall:
Another great addition to this story. It all looks promising!
Wisewun1 chapter 3 . 11/1/2012
Positives:
Ooooo, inter-cult scandals! Is Lara a possible new ally? A decoy? A test of a new follower's faith? The dialogue left a lot for speculation, but, again, was realistic and reeked of foreshadowing/plot twists (Dee-lish!). A mysterious Symposium, and initiation; all so intriguing. I can't wait to see how this all plays out.
Things to Improve:
Daina seems to be going back and forth with her characterization, but, again, I think this is a designed move to keep readers on their toes. And good choice, too!
My Favorite Part:
Probably the audio recording. We're getting more and more into her personality and I can actually hear the sound effects from Dead Space while she's talking.
Overall:
Another great addition to this wonderful story. I am officially hooked! I will see this through to the end!
Wisewun1 chapter 2 . 11/1/2012
Positives:
Again, you masterfully left hints about some past sorrow while Riley was on the phone with her parents. You didn't delve too deeply into it, yet left us with enough questions in what I think was a superb work of dialogue. And again in the bar scene, the dialogue was natural and flowing. In fact, the entire chapter was really coherent and connected (not that you've been having a problem with that, just commending you on the skills you've shown).
Things to Improve:
The only thing I think you could improve on is at the opening of the bar scene the first few lines seemed a tiny bit over-explanatory. The first sentence, really. I know that it's a detail that could be important, but you might want to cut back a little bit or rephrase it. Just a suggestion.
My Favorite Part:
Was probably the glimpse of the relationship with her father. He seemed relate-able and genuine.
Overall:
This is an excellent addition to the first chapter, adding to the plot and suspense quickly and artfully.
47 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »