Reviews for does he love me still
RaymanFanatic76 chapter 1 . 4/4
This was a fantastic story. From the character development to the unique imagery. I felt like I was there with you. The part where rayman kissed your cheek made me burst into tears. It just shows that in good times and bad, Rayman will always be there because he loves you very much. I wish Rayman loved me.
CaramelFudgeRay chapter 1 . 4/27/2014
Look. -.- You Need Better Writing Skills. Three Words: GLOBOX DOESNT RAPE! Its Sick How This Franchise Is Over Run With Rayman x Ly Shit Plus FUCKING PONIES. Get Writing Classes! Gez...
NO chapter 1 . 10/8/2013

*heavy breathing*

In an attempt to be a little more constructive, even though you RUINED the personalities of some of my favorite characters, I'll go over some of the things you did wrong. First and foremost, we have ourselves what is commonly known as a "Mary-Sue" here. AKA, go do some psychology research and honestly LEARN from it, not pick things out that you like and slap it onto your character (i.e. the mental hospital thing, why did she even GO there? People have had just as many problems and never set foot inside of one). You want to make it an important point that your character was raped? Ok! Do research on the minds of rape victims. Give her PTSD. But for the love of God, don't make GLOBOX the culprit. There is a perfectly good character in this series who would LOVE to ruin Rayman's life in any way possible, and his name is Reflux. His race is full of brain eating barbarians, so I could actually kind of believe it if you made HIM do the deed. But Globox?! Did you even READ ABOUT Rayman 2?

I realize that there are really little to no personalities present in Rayman characters due to the sheer lack of story in the series, but it is scientifically proven that the best indicator of future actions are the things we've already done. Did Globox ever do something purposefully to hurt someone who didn't deserve it, let alone his best friend? No? Then there is a VERY low chance of him ever committing rape, let alone doing so to his best friend's girlfriend.

Additionally, making your character super depressed and abused is very boring! Maybe it wouldn't be that way if she took it in stride and kept up a strong demeanor even in her darkest hour, but the way her personality is constructed comes off as just a cry for attention. And lemme tell ya, attention is never gained. It is EARNED. If you want people to pay attention to you because of your stories, that will only happen if they're good. And I mean REALLY good. Try reading Piranha, because when it comes to the Rayman fandom, that specific fic is your biggest competition.

Also, I am completely confused by the OCs you put in here, as well as their stories. I don't know if you wrote something as a prequel to this, but I shouldn't have to dig through your profile and find it if you did. The very least you can do is clear things up by putting important information about the story in the author's notes.

Aside from characterization, plot and so forth, you also have a lot to work on when it comes to grammar and spelling. Specifically, the "to/too/two", "there/they're/their" and "your/you're" issues. And that's okay! All good authors started off in a bad place. If you really want to write, and write WELL, just keep practicing doing it the right way and you'll get it one day! But... for now, I really suggest spellcheck.

I could go on and on about how you need to improve, but there's plenty of resources out there to help you, so I won't clog up the review area with it all. With that said, here's a list of things I think you should do BEFORE you try to write an OC again, since they are VERY hard to construct properly:

-Rewrite a scene from a movie or game that you like in as much detail as you can
-Write something from the perspective of an existing character
-Write something from the perspective of an existing character that you don't like
-Google "grammar help" and read up on what the internet has to offer
-Google "how to make a good oc". Using that information, make an OC that you like, then discard it or save it for later. Repeat as necessary, making someone completely different from the previous one each time, until you think you have the hang of making varied personalities.
-Read lots of books or highly rated fanfiction, make notes about what you liked about the stories and what you didn't like

That's pretty much all I have to say. And if you think your works are already perfect and don't need even the slightest bit of work, then kid, you ain't gonna go far. I can't remember who it was specifically (F. Scott Fitzgerald?), but one of the most famous authors rewrote the ending of his novel over and over again because he was never satisfied with it. THAT is what I want to see from you. Not... this. Whatever this even IS.
what chapter 1 . 9/11/2013
someone chapter 1 . 2/27/2013
Aw dude, this is terrible.
jayman thngamjig chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
story.I feel bad for every one. especially aikko and rayman. lucky. I want to meet rayman too. :3
Guest chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
Aw dude, this is terrible.
StudioTRUE chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
Aw dude. This is terrible.