Reviews for Crucio
Laser Lance 720 chapter 1 . 2/9/2014
This was amazing. I was shuddering by time I had finished reading. You really captured the vulnerability of Draco, and the darkness in Bellatrix complimented it lovingly.
Hpdwlotr24 chapter 1 . 1/29/2014
I loved Bellatrix coaxing him on and how he completely turned around what she had said :)
thehazeleyedloser chapter 1 . 3/13/2013
“Draco sucked in a large gulp of air and steadied his wand before him. Closing his eyes he gathered his thoughts and feelings. His anger towards his father for getting them in this mess. His frustration at being the Dark Lord's pawn. His bitterness at ignoring the words of Albus Dumbledore. And his hatred of all he had done, of all he was going to do. He pushed it all to the forefront of his mind and condensed it into a single word.


Perfect. Draco is vulnerable and you proved that to me. Never would I believed this as your first Lestrange or Malfoy. It’s amazing! I love how Draco is angry, nervous and scared and it dowsn’t stem to where Bella thinks. Not at all.

Did I mention I absolutely adore this side of Draco Malfoy? I crave it. Favourite!
Montley chapter 1 . 11/20/2012
This was a very well written story. Bellatrix was very much in character and I loved Draco's inner struggle that you represented perfectly. I didn't really notice any obvious grammar/spelling mistake in this which was great.
This story shows the pressure that Draco was under in the series very well, also Bellatrix's viciousness and evilness perfectly. You did fantastically!
slightlysmall chapter 1 . 9/24/2012
This is so beautifully done. You have both of their characters down great, especially for your first try at writing them. What I think I love most is that the hatred and pain he channels into his curse is hatred and pain that he has to learn to use the Unforgivables in the first place. It's brilliant.
Musical Ravenclaw chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Wow. Just, wow.
I wouldn't have known this was your first time writing about bellatrix or draco, if you hadn't said. Your characterisation was perfect; I can't seem to think of words good enough to describe it, but I think your other reviewers will have done it justice.

Ever since HBP, I've felt that Draco is essentially a good person who gets lead astray by his family, and has to suffer so much because of them, as you described brilliantly in your last paragraph. I think that this will in turn make him a better father to Scorpius than Lucius was to him - what do you think?

Thanks for writing and sharing! :)
Thanatos Angelos Girl chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
Wow. I loved the way Draco was written. This could easily be canon. I liked how you described Bella and how her voice was "sweet outside yet dripping with silent poison". I liked how you described Bellatrix's hair was holding him down as well. The descriptions were lovely and for your first time writing the two characters this is a job well done. I also enjoyed how you could capture this important time for Draco in so few words. Excellent job with the drabble.
ProfessorSquirrell chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
This is so creepy and fascinating! I don't think I've ever read anything with just Bella and Draco and it's easy to forget that they're related sometimes. I think you have Bella's character down perfectly, especially in her little speech. It was really nicely written. I also liked Draco's thoughts about the whole thing. Something about the line "in the past few months he'd seen it all" really got to me. I don't really know why. Probably because up until that point in the series he was all talk and he had no clue about what Death Eaters were really capable of and this is where he begins to understand. Nice job with this!
Holly The Sparkling Unicorn chapter 1 . 8/16/2012
I liked this! You kept both Bella and draco in character and wrote a amazing story about dracos struggle. I liked the ending, I always felt bad for Draco, his father controlling him and all. He should have took dumbledork up on his offer. Good job! Keep writing!
Phoenix Flare 68 chapter 1 . 8/16/2012
This story was so...different! You described Bellatrix really well, she seemed just as creepy as she does in the books.
And I loved the part in the end which shows all of Malfoy's feelings. Ironic that he focussed all those feelings into a torture curse, sadly.
Anyway, the story was short, but wonderful!
SereneMayhem chapter 1 . 8/2/2012
Wow! I love it! You've written Bellatrix and Draco amazingly well, they're really in character.
Aenaris chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
Nice job. I really like the characterization you have for both people, very realistic.
TheTwoDL chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
I thought this was very interesting. According to me Draco has never had it in him to cast an unforgivable curse, his hesitation would always be there. Bella on the other hand...merciless, etc. you described both of them perfectly and I really can't believe that this was your first try at writing Bella or Draco. Well done! Brilliant work.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
I like the image of Bellitrax you've drawn up here. "Prowled" was a very interesting choice of words, and I like the tentative of sorts Draco in here too. Nothing to critique in my view, except perhaps a fullstop [An angry huff sounded behind him,] - instead of a comma. And another place too; that's a personal thing though. I really like the way you've written this though. Well done.
Mr Bellatrix Lestrange chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
Goodness, if you hadn't have said it was your first I never would've guessed. You played both characters to their absolute extent. It was utter brilliance, in my opinion. You showed Bellatrix's coldness, her devotion, and her deceit. It was very powerful in the dialogue you showed, and the words you used to desricbe it were very beautiful too. You showed Draco's anger, insecurity, and his "bitterness," as you put it. It's exactly how I imagine him to be, and you did a nice job painting that picture. The act of Crucio-ing was a great way to show that change. That coming-of-age, loss of innocence and childhood. You expressed how hard it was, and how Draco just had to take it anyways, because he was a "pawn" (and a lovely metaphor).

(Bellatrix said, her voice appearing sweet outside yet dripping with silent poison) This line is my favourite, because it really captures the essence of /Bella./ Her monologue after that is also very in-character.

And the final line, just being Crucio, really shows Draco's transformation. Whether he wanted it or not. Great job!
16 | Page 1 2 Next »