Reviews for Beifong Legacy
tsubaki410 chapter 1 . 5/5/2014
Like mother, like daughter.
Different Child chapter 1 . 12/29/2012
You mad me cry. T_T_T I hope to god it wasn't that day that Toph died. I really do. But TT_T_T_T_TT
meh chapter 1 . 12/20/2012
seriously, i cried reading this...
Meri chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
Hi!
That was one of the best storys I've ever read... so sad :( But so good...
Just a bit more and I would have cried... It was a kind of spoiler for me, I haven't seen something like that in the first LoK-book, but I love it... Your writing style is more than beautiful :)
Very good job ;)
And sorry for my bad English!
Tobee chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
:'(:'(
so sadd...
Guest chapter 1 . 8/4/2012
:,(
Hetalia-HarryPotter-Lover chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
Q-Q This made me cry SO hard. I loves it. Great writing...
The Goddess of Percabeth chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
OH. MY. GOD. I am for real about to cry here. I mean, Agni! WHY, TOPH, WHY? Also, who do you think her father is?
Guest chapter 1 . 7/22/2012
Oh my gosh ..I can't stop tearbending! Toph! ! 3
LotD chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
Really nice and sad. Reminds me of this pic: ?qh§ion&qtophandlin#/d4zr6g3
I have a feeling Toph does get killed on the job instead of old age.
I also like how you stayed in character with everyone. Toph being motherly but tough and Lin being strong like and for her. Really love this.
A Magical Owl chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
that was so sad so so so very sad *sniff* I'm crying like crazy right now! D'X that was so sad! *sniff* *sob*

this fic was very well written and very touching. ') awesome job!
Abbl2 chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
ok. i am seriously crying right now. i never thought that lin would be just a kid when toph died, because Lin was a master earthbender who fought and acted like Toph, so i assumed that she would be older. but unfortunantly this is also possible. fantastic story. i just need to stop crying.
rtincan chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
Aww! That's so adorable but sad! :o
Darkis0777 chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
THE EMOTIONS! Man I'm going to break down when they show how Toph died in season 2 Lok.
Mira Kial chapter 1 . 7/7/2012
Ooh, I like this. It's a good insight into the Avatar world and such a nice contrast from the hardness of Lin and her mother. I think it's cool how this explains Lin's rather cold personality - she always wants to be strong and unemotional.

At the beginning when it is more Toph's point of view, I would take out all visual imagery such as the color of Lin's eyes - I don't think she wouldn't be thinking about what her daughter looks like so much as how it /feels/ to hug her daughter. Use sensory imagery like sound and feeling. And when you switch to little Lin's point of view, that's your opportunity to add in more description about what the temple looks like, what Aang looks like, etc. I think it would create a cool effect of contrast. Oh, and I would go through for punctuation - for example, take out the apostrophe in Beifong's (plurals don't need an apostrophe) and change "You're mommy isn't coming" to "Your mommy isn't coming." There are a few typos in here to check for, but nothing too big.

I like your writing style, but I think I'd add more short sentences to help balance out the sentence fluency. That will really help bring the emotion more alive, since that's what we want the strong point of this passage to be: pulling at the reader's heartstrings. And, maybe this is just me, but little Lin could use a little more characterization - she was a bit like the usual archetype of a bubbly, perfect little girl that is so often put in stories. For this scene, I think this is the perfect opportunity to define what kind of girl the little police chief was and what kind of childhood she had. When we can really feel the young girl's personality, it will really magnify the emotion of this scene.

I enjoyed how you tied in Toph's character, especially how she hid her fears and she knew that being totally free of fears is a lie. You really brought that out as a central part of her character: lies vs. truth. This really illustrates how Toph's character directly impacts Lin's, and you did a good job of that. It's sweet to see how her spunky wildness is softened by her motherly love, and how concern for her daughter overshadows all her other fears. Good job with this, keep it up!