|Reviews for Ice Prince Alchemist|
| Marshman101 chapter 40 . 5/28
Please make more this is awesome I need more
| Guest chapter 32 . 4/1
So many crossovers...
(Its beautiful, and has stolen the title of Favorite Fanfic from... Um... Its the first!)
| TheBadWolves chapter 5 . 3/3
Of all things I didn't think I would find america and Russia in this fic
| Guest chapter 2 . 2/4
Oh man... I was right. It's a Harry Sue... (I mean, voiceless casting without a wand?)
Ehh... at least he ain't angsting and monologue his tragedies like an emo.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/4
Hey! A Harry Sue!
| TheREALMightyKamina chapter 2 . 2/3
Okay, problems with this chapter:
1.) Amestris existing on the same planet as England. We see what lies beyond Xing at one point, and where exactly do you plan to cram an entire new continent onto the surface of the Earth? There is no way to handwave this, at least not without some form of justification. Hell, even using the tried-and-true "Other Side of the Gate" would work better than your current rationale.
2.) Magic being an unknown. Seeing as Father would most likely have been aware of it, since apparently this is set on a bizarro-Earth with an additional continent, would not he have either A) suppressed knowledge of magic so it can't be used against him, or B) manipulated the military into researching and harnessing it as a weapon, and using it to further his plans? Finding a random book about something that's supposed to be hidden away is very bad justification. Again, the Gate setup would work better, seeing as there could be no equivalent on the Amestrian side.
3.) This is more related to the previous chapter, but keeping an adoption secret from the government makes no sense, especially since Olivier had no idea about the issues with it initially. Instead, you created an artificial problem that had no need to exist.
4.) The OCs. They served no purpose but unneeded exposition, they've got the hallmarks of Suedom, and really have no place in the story.
5.) Your dialogue pains me to read. The way you write it sounds nothing like the way people actually speak, and you should really try reading it aloud before you put it to the page. If it sounds wrong, rewrite it until it sounds natural.
| TheREALMightyKamina chapter 1 . 2/3
This isn't good.
Your prose is awkward to read, you created original characters for no other purpose than you could, and said OC's aren't even worked into the narrative in any logical way. They merely appear out of nowhere, serve no purpose, and do nothing of any merit.
Also, your handwaving of Ed's ability to perform alchemy DOES. NOT. WORK. Truth works on an individual basis, so removing the Horcrux through an inexplicable human transmutation and using that as justification doesn't make sense. Ed consciously gave up his connection to the collective knowledge of mankind, in a series of what I believe to be utterly idiotic events designed solely to get Ed to land the final blow on Father, rather than let the supporting cast, who were easily capable of finishing him off, but I digress.
Of further note, you seem to favor telling, not showing when it comes to your writing, and while this style can work from time to time, in this case it fails utterly. There is no hook to keep me invested in the plot whatsoever.
This story, or at least it's concept, has merit, and could easily prove too be a good read... that is, if it were more competently executed. As it stands now, it pains me to read it, since there are serious flaws that seem to be systemic. I will try and slog my way through, but expect nothing but honesty from me on this story.
| Chaos Greymistchild chapter 1 . 1/30
5th/6th time reading this. Lols. Is it me, or was Charles E. Winchester a Supernatural reference?
| Ovskyaya chapter 12 . 1/7
I love you for all the references you put in this
| Ovskyaya chapter 5 . 1/7
OH MY GOD HETALIA REFERENCE!
| FieryRedRose789 chapter 33 . 11/12/2017
I’m serious. All of these different reference that you add in you story makes me so happy. Especially the Black Butler references.
| FieryRedRose789 chapter 23 . 11/11/2017
Really of all things I expected to see in a Harry Potter FMA crossover, the least thing I had expected to see was a reference to Superman of all things!
| MangoPeanutSituation chapter 2 . 10/7/2017
huh, I never thought about it but you're right, Amestris is a micronation. Always thought it was bigger. But considering the lunar shadow can cover most of it, it would be a little over 100km in diameter...
| Helensdragon chapter 40 . 9/16/2017
I have thoroughly enjoyed this story I hope to read more soon
| FrozenSwan13 chapter 5 . 9/4/2017
I just read Hetalia and was like :D