Reviews for A Jedi's Path
Ryusuken chapter 33 . 2/5/2014
Well, i'll be quite stingy here: I love this fic the way it is. Its not JUST about the whole 5 girls wanting Harry (though thats amazing...he, but the whole plan to the war with the Yuuhan Vong that is coming, the whole army/tech Harry is amassing to fight it is what kept me hooked (besides all those delicious girls!)...

So I would say keep it the way it is...but thats stupid. You have to be confrotable with what you're writing (RL comes to bite you sometimes) so...ok...rewrite it. I'll put my vote up there as well...but I do ask to keep this one up...dont erase it please...its quite a sinfull pleasure to read this fic whenever other authors are out. See ya around.
Naginator chapter 34 . 2/5/2014
Alright I thought you were reaching too far the first time as well, loved the story and if you think you can do a rewrite without losing interest like a lot of other authors go for it otherwise your other star wars idea sounds interesting too, just don't get rid of nakia loved her character, look forward to more
erbkaiser - closed account chapter 34 . 2/5/2014
Sorry but I am giving up on you as an author I follow, at least until you actually manage to finish or at least continue a story. According to your profile you have 7 stories ongoing now, 2 abandoned ones, and one being rewritten.

It is easy to get stuck in a story and work on a new idea and there's nothing really wrong with that, but don't promise a full fic if you cannot deliver. Put them in your Orphanage collection instead.
J.T.P2013 chapter 34 . 2/5/2014
I chose a rewrite as I have forgotten what the story is about, but I also suggest keeping your other SW/HP idea in reserve/or post it when you complete the rewrite. I like both ideas so it was a hard choice for me
Egrim chapter 34 . 2/5/2014
Really another poll ? its like:

"ah crap jedi's path won the poll, lets give them a new poll and hope they chose differintly this time"

If you don't want to continue writing it just say so and get it over with. But don't keep coming with this BS and keep our hopes up. Thats just being an ass.
darknessfalls123 chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
If you are planning to rewrite this fic then I have some advice. Every Oc that you make must have a reason for being in the story. In my opinion it is better to utilize existing characters and re-purpose them for your story. Should you make a Oc then you should make them memorable both in life and death. In other words make the Oc very good and very necessary. Don't be afraid to build up your Oc and kill them later when you are done with them.

In my opinion you tend to write your characters as Gary Stu which is fine, but these characters need to have some deep multiple flaws. At the end of the day their greatest strength should be their downfall or not help at all in the end. I want to see that the protagonist is human so that when he succeeds in a big way he can also screw up in an epic way so that people will die. I want to see the main characters suffering, for nothing worthwhile comes without pain. I also want to see the darkness in their souls. I want to see the main characters overcome their pain and darkness or at least make peace with it. They should either overcome their problems or be destroyed by them.

The story itself should be moving emotionally. A story that evokes no laughter or tears is a complete failure of a story. If at the end of the day you can make your readers burst into laughter or wipe their eyes you have succeeded as an author.

If you are going to make your story epic in length then I need to see the main characters gradual growth in the world around themselves, their relationships with others, and inner growth.

If you are going to doing any type of relationship either platonic or romantic then I need to see the good and the bad. I need to see romantic parts, the fights, how they interact with each other, the things they hate about each other, etc. Stories with more than two people in a romantic relationship with each other can get pretty unrealistic in fan fiction these days. If you are going to write harem do it right. Most people go through several relationships before finding the love of their lives. People very rarely marry or have a long term relationship with the people they meet in their teen years.

There are so many holes in the Star Wars universe and contradictory information. A lot of the things they miss out on is the how and the why. First of all I want to know about the government how it work both at a local level, planetary, system, sector, over-sector, and finally the republic and alliance themselves. I want to know how the government is organized, how it operates, and how they work and clash at times. Where do the corporations in all this? What is the republic's relationship with independent worlds and its neighbors? Why are the Hutts and other crime syndicates so powerful? Why has the outer rim always been in a state of chaos and why hasn't anything been done to correct this? Who are the most powerful powerful, far-flung, affluent, and plentiful species in the galaxy and why is humanity the top dog? Are the near-human species related to humans and can they have children with humans? I also want to see the dark underbelly of the galaxy firsthand.

I like how you wrote Harry as a jedi guardian, and that he can kick ass and take names. I feel as though Harry needs someone to balance out the areas in which he is weak. You should add a Jedi Consular character(s) who can be seer, researcher, healer, diplomat, and ambassador to do the things Harry isn't good at himself.
He needs someone who can do more subtle things with the force than he can, while still being able to keep up with Harry in his adventures. He also needs someone(s) who don't have the force and car roll their eyes at the mystical Jedi knowledge. That someone needs to be a down to earth person who has a great skill set outside the force. He needs to be able to tell the jedi off when they need to be more down to earth. Please somehow fit a mandalorian into his inner circle.

I would like to finally state these are only my opinions. At the end of the day this is your story and you write for fun so do whatever you want with it.
Dark Gnome of the Sith chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
I hope you rewrite this story a bit and keep some of the things that did happened, but if you did do your other idea can you please have FAITH (HK-47) in there as well, Please.
realisticpotter chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
I think you should just continue with this fic itself, not rewrite it, but continue it as it is. While I agree that there are a few issues, the fic in its current form is not bad. In fact it is very well written. There will always room for improvement, things to fix or clean up, whether you continue this fic or rewrite it. There are many ways to get rid of any extra characters you have now without either killing them or rewriting the entire thing.

However, since that is not one of the choices in your poll, I have voted for a rewrite. To me it is the next best option.
wolfey141 chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
That second one sounds kinda cool. but why the clone wars why not the rebellion. Hoq fay faked her death during the war and ended up on earth. she could train harry and dies helping him kill voldemort. her dying wish was for him to go help bring down the emperer or return the jedi to their former glory. hell the only time i like harry in the clone war era is cuz i love the harry/padme pairing. plus if you rewrite this why make him a jedi. the whole story could be he got involved with jaina and her family as he tracked down his family legacy.
dammyd chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
I think at this point, Astraal is more loved than Jaina. So that is a real problem. I would personally prefer Astraal to Jaina. On the matter of Voldermort, his character has more to do with the fact that that was the only way Harry Potter could have beaten him with his skills set. He was called the most fearsome dark lord, but we didn't really see that cos the good guys were tooo weak. hmmm, fixing the misajkes is my own opiniion
FireKing500 chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
I would love for Aayla to be with Harry because I really don't know that many female jedi around the time of the Clone Wars (which sucks for me being a star wars fan). So Harry will be found by this Master Fay when he is at the Dursley's and maybe she feels him calling for help or something. I already voted on the poll but I bet whatever story is picked it will be great.
Selias chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
You don't have to kill the OCs. Just have them be on missions, most of the time, or something. You know, there's a civil war on some planet, and one or two of them get sent to broker peace, maybe a few go to search for possible padawans, etc. Maybe Astraal finds someone new, because she realizes that Harry is never going to "get over" Jaina. I don't mind a re-write, though. Especially since I prefer the first three movies the the books.
Dquinnicus chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
I dunno man. I think you should rewrite A Jedi's Path, but don't rush it. Take your time, check your facts, smooth things out. You put out two rewrites a month and you'll be all caught up by the end of the year. Yeah, you could do more, but doing two a month will give you time to work on other things, like the Harry trained by Fay story, or anything else you feel like. I don't know how much you write in a week, so it's hard to say.

I'd like to see Aayla as Harry's second girlfriend, as long as her personality meshes with Harry's main girlfriend.
phantom00 chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
Interesting story idea and I say add Aayla
TOWTWUKER chapter 34 . 2/4/2014
rewrite cause the other idea was tried already

and i like this fic
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