Reviews for Fractured
Eddy13 chapter 11 . 9/29/2012
Man, that was even more depressing than what happened to the Kingdom of Middleton. As for the MAMA, I was kind of expecting it to be gigantic and scorpion-like. Now, it looks like this plotline with Ron is finished until Kim jumps into his world. Speaking of which, I wonder what she's doing now.
Wanderer chapter 11 . 9/28/2012
I always thought that to live forever would be the greatest gift imaginable. And then you come along and show us why it is a curse.

Thanks for ruining my dreams.

In all seriousness, this chapter was good. Not great but good. The MAMA reveal was a bit of a letdown but I guess you can't get everything in life.

One thing I really appreciated in this was the final goodbye between Rufus and Ron. Their friendship ending with Rufus giving his life for Ron's was a good touch.

And I think I know who that woman is. I won't say but I have a good feeling about it.

Wanderer of the Mist
Karon19 chapter 11 . 9/25/2012
I believe Sheoul is the bridge that all deceased must cross to reach the afterlife in the Jewish version of the Underworld. It fits with Ron's sense of eternal life in eternal damnation. Truly there are fates far worse than death. And I must say, after all the confusing Ron chapters, this was the most entertaining. Thank you for finally making sense of it all.

But I have to say, one robot wiped out all life on the planet? That seems far-fetched even for the Kim universe. I was a bit dissapointed when the MAMA finally made its debut. I know this was a new incarnation of the original design, but it just didn't strike the dread in me that I thought it would.

No doubt one of the best death scenes in KP fanfic history. Rufus giving his life for Ron, now a true immortal, to save him from the beast. How much more millenia must he wait for Kim's arrival, I wonder?

Joe Stoppinghem chapter 11 . 9/24/2012
"I don't know if I should be repulsed by that or impressed that you managed to keep this for all these years," Ron laughed.

If you think that's something you should see my Twinkie collection, Rufus smiled at Ron's slack jawed expression.

They sat in silence and watched the blood red sun set on their fallen civilization.

(My addition) * * * * *
Over the horizon a sound was heard, the sound of music.
"Do you believe in life after love, after love, after love, after love."

Ron couldn't believe his eyes and he rubbed them.
"Well I'll be damned, they were right."
"There would be three things around after the world ends."
"Roaches." (Hey where is little Roachie in this story!)
"And Cher."
* * * *

That hit me as soon as you said Twinkies.

Another great chapter.

Can't wait for the next chapter, so I'm not going to ask, "When does Spock die anyway?"
Sentinel103 chapter 11 . 9/24/2012
OOOOOOOhhhh Side Kick, now we have some stuff goin' on. Ron truly alone (for the time being)...alright who was the blonde? A kid of Ron and Kim's...hummmm no can't be. I'll figure it out.

CajunBear73 chapter 11 . 9/24/2012
And the curtain comes down on Act I.

Sad, but with promise, as the recounting of how the world got to this point.

Sly is the prophecy and fleeting is what we hold dear to us.

Mr. Wizard chapter 8 . 9/23/2012
If Yori had had the services of certain Yamanouchi women in regards to her present, Fiske would really have been a grumpy monkey.

Especially like how Kim is adapting to it all, and the line with Betty knowing what is going on is very good. You're right, I feel right at home, though the odds...
Eddy13 chapter 10 . 9/22/2012
That was a pretty sad fate for the Kingdom of Middleton. I do hope there's a way to reverse it.
Taechunsa chapter 10 . 9/20/2012
Another good chapter.

We got a good resolution to the Middleton Kingdom reality and we saw IT come after Kim left, which was really nice since it is starting to tie it all together.

Kim is now back to 3019 and looking to actually get some answers, which I cannot wait for as it should also provide some for us.

Again, I didn't find any errors on the first reading.

Keep up the good work.
Joe Stoppinghem chapter 10 . 9/18/2012
Man, another chapter with a lot of words.
My lips were so tired from reading this one.
(Let's see how long it takes for TRS to get it.)

Fantastic chapter, one hell of a battle for this and last chapter.
More and more of the story is starting to come together.

I guess I was wrong, Spock didn't die in this one... yet.

Thanks for returning to this one.
Karon19 chapter 10 . 9/18/2012
Ricardo Montalban, the voice of Senior. May he rest in peace...

Finally we're about to get some answers! Like Kim I've enjoyed the ride, but so much of this story has me scratching my head and wondering just what the hell is going on and what this IT thing really is. I get the sense that she's been hoping between alternate dimensions, but where's the real Kim? And where does she belong?

Poor Tam. To find Kim only to die at the hands of a straggler. It sucks.

Sentinel103 chapter 10 . 9/17/2012
Yea for Hana Side Kick, I mean killing ole Monty boy seems to be a hobby. Anyway things seem to be moving now and I like Betty's words "version of you".

CajunBear73 chapter 10 . 9/17/2012
Man, so that's what happens to a series or version of it when it get cancelled. Wow! LOL! The magic corporate vacuum comes along and just sucks it up.

Nice to see the end of the Kingdom delayed by Senior and his army. Bonnie's persona fit well there I see...

But it seems things are now moving very quickly to the end. One AU world down, countless to go and with Kim's return here, the Prime location seems to be ahead of schedule to oblivion now.

Yeah Betty, you've got some 'splainin to do...

Wanderer chapter 10 . 9/17/2012
Nice to see the continuation of this story. Hopefully you'll end it this time instead of leaving us hanging like last time.

I'm glad to see the reference to Corinthian leather here. I was hoping you'd say something about it when you first introduced him and to see it here was just icing on the cake.

But now we'll finally get some answers. Hopefully Betty can explain all that is going on to us and give Kim whatever she needs.

Wanderer of the Mist
Karon19 chapter 9 . 9/11/2012
I still catch a few errors here and there, but nothing major.

Welcome back! Vacations are overrated. We love our craft!

You've sated my need for bloodshed in this chapter. The Siege was an epic display of fantasy warfare and doom and gloom. I felt sorry for the dragon, however. But I'm sure Monty will get his when Senior's reinforcements arrive. You didn't think I forgot about them, did you?

I do have one nitpick, though. Ballistas are very powerful weapons. They're basically overgrown crossbows that can skewer half a dozen men in a row. That Monkey Fist was able to easily parry one with his arm seemed a bit out of place for me. If he raised a shield barrier would be one thing but as with the dragon breaking down the gate, it comes down to simple physics for me.

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