|Reviews for Fallout3: The Lone Soldier|
| gostrow chapter 1 . 8/16/2015
great first chapter but i cant continue reading this fanfic... the story is good and the way you tell it is good but you NEED to put Quotation mark " when thay talk and not wright I said, She said all the time. If you do that then your wrighting will improve greatly... SO KEEP IT UP!
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/15/2015
Are you fucking kidding me? I read this chapter due to a small amount of curiosity and THIS is what i see?! Seriously, you just ripped off a whole fucking game due to not knowing what to do with this piece of shit! FUCK YOU!
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/15/2015
It's a Verti-bird you stupid fuck. And learn how to fucking type you fucking piece of shit. Fuck. You.
| Smeehan98 chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
Its a shame that the dialogue is so hard to follow. Seems like it could be a great fic but without separated dialogue i cant bring myself to go past the first chapter. Sorry.
| Doom Marine 54 chapter 1 . 3/5/2013
Terrible, badly written and this character is obviously a gary-stu, they're not gonna let some stupid 16 year old brat in the military.
| That Epic Guy from Dixie chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
For your first story, this is good. I would suggest working on dialogue, as it is a bit hard to follow in the way you write it.
| Grand Admiral Thrawn II chapter 1 . 7/25/2012
Can't really tell the dialogue from the rest of the story.
| beastlynerd chapter 8 . 7/19/2012
| Michael Reid chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
Well it would be a lot easier of a read if you used proper punctuation like quations and spacing. Creative idea, poor delivery.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
one thing i have to say mate is that you put i said to much maybe you could use the characters name becouse its realy annoying me and another thing why is he 16 a soldier wouldnt be 16 and another thing he doesnt act like a hardend veteran of a war
its basically the small things but the small things are what make a good story but its realy good for your frst one o yer u going to want to make chapters bigger so u can take longer to wright them but the reader can realy get in to the story this chapter was 2 small for me to get in to but it was a very good chapter tho keep it up and try and do what i advised
| FarShot chapter 3 . 7/11/2012
Okay, Good story. Yet, you need to work on your punctuation and grammar. It's all jumbled up and hard to read. With appropriate grammar I could forgive the bad flow, but it's kind of a hastle to read and decipher. Send me a private message, I'd be most okay being your proof reader and editor. You've got the potential, don't let anything anyone says get you down. Take it as constructive criticism and take it with grace.
| Demented Maniac chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
OK, so, the idea of this story is nice and solid. I really like the idea of a 16 year old soldier fighting in anchorage and winding up in the wastes/vault. however the fact that he is readily known to be 16 is not realistic. maybe a few people would have known at the time of the war, like his squad, but he would have lied about his age. also i think there should have been some mystery rather than being all revealed at once. i like how he forgets his friends family and most of the war, and remembers his training, but i think he should have known his name and remember flashes of the war and other important details to give him more mystery. also his height and stuff should have been described passively by you not actively by the overseer ,after all HE already knows his stats but WE don't. More importantly, is the writing itself, first off, when you use dialogue, go to a new line, and use quotation marks. Also, use punctuation. if you don't it becomes a cluttered confusing block of words that detracts from the story you're trying to tell. again, i liked the idea, and you show promise. hope to see you become a great writer anyways i'm out. hope this helped.