|Reviews for Don't Be a Gentleman|
| XionTheBlackRose chapter 29 . 4/13
Nice little breather chapter, I really enjoyed it. It sets a nice tone to how Kairi's dad feels about all this. And I thought when they were put in that new world, they were just literally put in. I didn't know their bodies were still in her room. That's good to know. Great chapter, and I can't wait for another update.
| Lucenthia chapter 29 . 4/13
Sorry I'm so late reviewing this. Anyways, as you said, this was a filler chapter, but it still had a point, and it was good to see how the three were in real life. Or physical life, since what's happening to them is real as well. Keep it up!
| Sookdeo chapter 29 . 4/10
They're in a coma? Well I sure as hell didn't see that coming. They need to make it out of that world before they get the plugged pulled on them.
This one was a breather?! It actually hyped the story up for me a bit. Mentally they're in Vanitas' world but physically they're still in destiny islands. Not that they know that of course. And Kairi's adopted. Hmmmm where did she come from then? Does that play any part in the trouble they've had from the start?
And your battle scenes are pretty good. Don't sweat it.
| xxIAmTheSkyxx chapter 29 . 4/10
Okay, I need to go to bed right after this. First, I want to apologize, since I haven't really been reviewing your stories all that much (or that thoroughly) lately, which makes me feel kinda bad, but...yeah, sorry.
Alright, first off...really short! But hey, it works. In portraying something like this, it's best to keep it short and simple. Any longer and it would've felt dragged on...which I really am glad you avoided. I can't stand slow-moving plots (I don't know if I have a right to say that or not, but yeah), and it's a nice little detail that we can give some time to sink in before things go to the dogs. I like what you did here, so good job.
Second...call me blind to foreshadowing or vague hints or whatever, but I'm not sure when exactly this is taking place. Is it, like, before or after the time skip, or was the time skip a one-chapter thing before moving back to present time? I'm not sure if I missed something along the way of reading this, but...it's probably the latter...maybe. I don't know; I'm too tired to think too hard right now. Heh...yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Also, one little thing that just occurred to me (why I didn't think of this earlier really speaks to my foreshadow blindness sometimes) - Kairi's dad...IS the mayor, right? Not just some random everydude who happened to adopt her when she first washed ashore on Destiny Islands? I don't know; just the way he's been portrayed in this series makes me think that he either stepped down from the mayor position at some point, or maybe...he's not the mayor at all. 'Cause I do remember Kairi being adopted by the mayor of the mainland town, so...yeah. I'm just curious if you deliberately made him an ordinary man and ignored the whole "mayor" thing, or if you honestly forgot to factor that in. Just a little thing; I doubt it's consequential to the plot in any way. Heh, yeah, you can just ignore this if you want.
Third! The whole thing with Sora being the link for the three of them showcased in this manner is really interesting, especially with the way that they're...connected. Both literally and figuratively. I'm kinda wondering how that works because this is...sort of out of left-field. At least for me. Since...you know...I stink at picking up foreshadowing. And, of course, how it happened in the first place. SO MANY QUESTIONS. Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this. (It's too late for this! DX)
And...at one point, you used "here" where you should've used "hear". Second to last paragraph. Yeah. I didn't pay too much attention to punctuation in this chapter, but...you seem okay in that department. I can't seem to find the semicolon at the moment, either...but I'm hoping you used it right, because I can't judge right now. XD
All in all - short chapter, but it serves its purpose well. Can't wait to see where this new development leads! Keep up the good work! *thumbs up*
| Lucenthia chapter 28 . 3/26
This was a cool chapter. Lots of mystery and more of not knowing what's going on. Which is fine. I have no idea what's happening with the plot, which is fine as well. The schizophrenia with Roxas and Sora is pretty cool as well. The plot's pretty sturdy and doesn't seem outlandish at all, and the characters are acting well within their parameters.
Love this, keep it up!
| Sookdeo chapter 28 . 3/26
Only 28 chapters? I thought there was more than that with all the things going on and the plot development.
Well at least Namine is docile and nice. So from what she just told Kairi, Roxas wants to take over Sora completely. Or maybe the transition is happening quickly and unconsciously.
Well. That IS confusing. Having to differentiate between two personalities. It's almost like having schizophrenia. This could be detrimental to Sora, and to them all escaping this world. And because Sora has more darkness in him his Roxas is showing more lol. Which is probably why Namine doesn't have such a hold on Kairi.
Ventus is the king's brother? Ok so maybe Aqua IS trying to help Kairi and Sora out by feeding them darkness. Even if their nobodies take over them completely they will be able to fight the king. Once they return home though, will they be able to change back?
He just killed Aqua...I knew Terra would come to their rescue! Oh no did he sacrifice himself to the heartless and the rest of them? Always the nice ones that die
I hope Riku will be useful in the upcoming fight. Not to the king of course.
| XionTheBlackRose chapter 28 . 3/26
This chapter certainly was interesting. It seems Roxas and Sora are becoming one, I guess? I'm not exactly sure on that, but whatever's happening to them isn't good. And then there's Kairi and Namine, what's going to happen to them? Can Namine really keep it from happening? As for Aqua, her character never ceases to amaze me in this story. I never thought of her as this dark crazed person. It's really sad to see her die. And then Terra helps Sora and Kairi escape, only to die, too? Hm, if Aqua and Terra are in this strange world, what's become of Ventus? Is he just "asleep" somewhere like in the real games? Just a thought. And now our heroes are going to storm the castle to save Riku! I wonder what they'll find there? Can't wait to find out, update soon!
| KingdomHeartsKeyBladeMaster chapter 28 . 3/25
WOOHOOOOO you updated! I very much enjoyed this chapter. Its cool that Terra helped Kairi and Sora out, they definitely needed it (Since y'know Aqua was a psycho). I'm super excited for the next chapter! Can't wait to see what you have planned:D Great job!
| Sookdeo chapter 27 . 2/18
Riku is becoming transparent? I never thought I'd see that. He's usually rock solid especially his expressions and body language.
I never knew he was hearing things. At least I don't remember that being mentioned.
And where is the hell is Kairi's dad?!
I think it's really weird and strange that Riku's darkness seems to be more than Vanitas'. Vanitas does live in this world and should be made entirely from the stuff. While Riku still has a good amount of light in him.
So it's not technically a world. Is it one of their psyches? that would explain...nothing really. Just throwing a thought out there.
That was a little easier to read than I thought it would be. Riku's chapters are usually filled with so much inner turmoil/brooding that you get a little lost in him. This chapter was a little easier to read.
It's a shame that it Vanitas reducing Riku to that, in order for him to feel clean and free again. Well free from the darkness at least.
I'm glad you wrote this chapter. It's a nice break from the fluff. And it puts the story in a more serious light which is actually what it is.
| Lucenthia chapter 27 . 2/16
This was a great chapter. Again. This fight scene wasn't just a blow by blow account of what happened. It was descriptive of exactly what Riku was feeling and made the scene come alive. It all built up into an awesome climax to the fight when Vanitas ripped the Darkness out of Riku and you did a paragraph on how Riku was screaming. I loved that bit.
And I loved the hallucinations that came during that. The short paragraphs, the ellipses, the italics, all of it, was absorbing and completely capture what Riku was feeling.
The last section about innocence and all that made a deep impression. The way Riku is so detatched and numb speaks a lot to what he's gone through.
Keep it up!
| XionTheBlackRose chapter 27 . 2/15
Great chapter, and I'm worried about Riku. He surely is in quite the jam right now, and I feel so bad for him, he's going through so much pain. So much pain.. It hurts me to see him hurting, but it also excites me, because pain is good for creating emotion, and emotion is good, unless you're like Riku and you are starting to forget feeling. Hm, I know nothing is going to get better, but for some reason I'm kind of expecting things to start looking up. I know it won't, but hey, a fangirl can dream, can't she? Anyway, great chapter, irony is awesome, and I can't wait for more.
| Sookdeo chapter 26 . 11/21/2013
I almost didn't jump on this chapter to read it. I'm rereading Catching Fire. I want to be up to date when I watch it this Saturday.
I'm glad Kairi is getting tactful and pulling her own weight instead of relying on everyone else. Does the food there dull their light allowing their nobodies to take root? Hah I knew it. I wonder if Aqua and Terra are truly wanting to help them or if they are using Kairi and Sora.
I actually don't mind the length of the chapter. It was a nice in between of what is going on while Riku fights to the death.
| xxIAmTheSkyxx chapter 26 . 11/21/2013
Well...this was short. :P
Haha no, that's not a bad thing. Heck, my own updates have gotten shorter; I shouldn't be saying anything to you right now. Heh...
Okay, anyway. This chapter was...an okay re-introduction of the story. We're vaguely reminded of the goings-on of last chapter, but I do wish that there was a bit more call back...oh well, can't have everything. It's just been so long that I can barely remember what happened in this story...yeesh...
So, Kairi and Sora have assumed new identities, huh? Hmm, I wonder what the purpose of that is...unless you mentioned it here and I missed it somehow. Sorry, I'm still kind of tired. So yeah, why did Aqua insist on it? It's pretty much confirmed now that she's not all there, so it could be any number of reasons. And of course, the one with the identity crisis to end all identity crises is Sora, to the point that he doesn't even know who's in control anymore. Holy crap, that's all kinds of wow. And you drive it home with the way he speaks; it's like a blend of both Sora and Roxas. Seriously, you and the unsettling! Why?! Nearly every time I'm reviewing your stories I'm just ranting about how creepy everything is! How does someone do that, really?!
*sigh* ...Anyway. The food. Can't forget the food. It's basically depression food. Really, the way you describe it makes me think that. Food that breaks you psychologically when you eat it? Yeah, it's totally depression food. The taste is fitting, too - an extremely bitter taste...so many analogies comes to mind thanks to that. You clever little rascal, you. :P
And sorry, but I haven't seen a whole lot of Terra since he was introduced. Is he still important to the story? Is he at least a bit more sane than Aqua is right now? What the heck is he doing for him to be off-screen so much (har har)? He's coming back soon, right? Because I want him to be some spot of sanity here (I realize how stupid that sounds, so don't call me out on it), plus he's been shoved off to the side. Unless he wasn't important in the first place; then never mind.
...Okay, I'm running out of things to say now. I think I'm still sort of brain-dead from the triple update. *sigh* I can't even think about writing anything right now...the scenes won't come into my head either, which is both good and bad. Plus I'm reading a new FT fic now, so there's that. Maybe I should've waited a bit before reviewing...but then if I did that, I'd forget everything all over again and I wouldn't remember to review. Yeah...better for me to do this now than later when I won't have the drive anymore. Heh...
...I guess I'm about due for another short break, huh?
Enough about me, though. To finish, this was a short update, but it was good for what it was worth and eased us back into the story somewhat after such a long gap between updates. Decent update; good luck with everything else you've got!
| XionTheBlackRose chapter 26 . 11/21/2013
It was good. Interesting that Aqua literally fed them darkness. I do hope they can make it out again. I don't want any of them to fade. That would kill my nonexistent heart. Update soon!
| Lucenthia chapter 26 . 11/21/2013
This was a great chapter, even if it was a little short. The description here was concise but did wonders to help the story along.
In terms of storyline it was cool to see Sora/Roxas losing their mind. If you wanted to make both of them twisted and messed up, you could try having them refer to themselves in third person, maybe constantly correcting themselves, or just not knowing what's going on. Or you could just go on wikipedia and search "symptoms of schizpophrenia/PTSD." I like how their memories are merging and they can't tell each other apart.
Hope you get better soon!