Reviews for Toni Haruno |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I like your story and happy late birthday and I think you should continue this story its good |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good chapter and a Stymphilian bird is a creature from Greek mythology that is looks like a bigger version of a pigeon, has a solid gold beak, gold-ish feathers, and attack indiscrimanetely at anything, they typically fly in packs and are very fast-Hercules defeated them by using the sound of a large bell to spook them away from a city they were plaquing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a good story. Please continue. Naruto and Sakura forever. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Gahhh I'm the author and didn't realize how poorly written this was I'm sorry you guys. |
![]() ![]() ![]() You need to, for one, show, not tell. SHOW us Naruto kissing Saskue, don't just rattle it off. SHOW us the eraser falling on sensei. Second, you need to get a grammar/spell check for this story, since your grammar is not the greatest. You are missing periods and commas in this. Might I suggest hiring a beta reader to help you out? Xx Write on, keep calm, and carry on! The Legend of Derpy, Proud Member of Critics United xX |