|Reviews for Sanctuary|
| Starmischief chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
This story was good! -Toadire
| Ebee Kit chapter 2 . 8/18/2012
... Jack Dawson is from Titanic...
| Ebee Kit chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
Cool... I like the bag idea :)
| TheRectangularOne chapter 2 . 8/3/2012
well that was good and i liked the fact that its not just animals in the town as with most fic about this mostly its animals. i like the story so far but autumm seems a bit too comfortable after the events of chapter 1 but ah well she may as well put on a brave smile
| The6thAnon chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Ooh, I like this idea! Seriously, it's nice. :)
Once again, proofreading and checking formatting would be an excellent idea. There were a few mistakes that made me cringe a bit. Before I go on, I'm going to copy-and-paste my favorite line of this chapter: "...pleading with the cool breeze..."
That's a nice way to put it. A lot of good writing talks about things with which we are familiar in a way that makes us think of it differently.
You said in the introduction that you spent 4 hours on this chapter. Make that a habit! All good writing goes through multiple drafts. Your chapters will take longer to write, but they'll come out with more polish.
Your character Autumn cried a lot, and that makes a lot of sense. However, you, the author, used the word "cry" a lot, and you don't necessarily need to do that. Has someone ever told you not to use a thesaurus as you write? Phooey. Ignore them. The thesaurus tab of an online dictionary can help you out a lot.
Watch for cliches! There were a few in here.
Remember to give your characters strong points and flaws and make them apparent! Characters drive the story. You just give 'em events to which they react. You're good at choosing events, so make sure your characters shine through!
This story has promise. Good luck!