|Reviews for Chance|
| Guest chapter 4 . 12/12/2014
The writing is weak/simple, but the plot is interesting.
| Super Vegito 2 chapter 4 . 11/6/2014
Not logged in right now, and can't be bothered to. Sorry lol.
It seems you've lost some of the timeline.
Yahiko is older then Minato.
Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan were Jiraiya's first students.
When Nagato died, he was in his mid 40s.
Yahiko died between the age of 25 and 30.
Nagato was about seven when Jiraiya started teaching them (Who himself was in his teen to early adult years), and all three of the Ame orphans are around the same age.
If Yahiko was in a coma for a year since the ambush, then Naruto shouldn't even be Born Yet.
| rakat14 chapter 11 . 4/30/2014
update or ill stab ur eyes out a ruste spoon
| jh chapter 4 . 2/13/2014
Its actually " worse than scum" not trash
| izwan.fazry chapter 11 . 12/15/2013
Chapter 12 is soooo late
| Guest chapter 11 . 12/11/2013
p;ease update soon
| kairi loves sora chapter 11 . 10/10/2013
This is cool. So Yahiko is the one who taught him some Justus. He is so protective though. I mean really that glaring contest with Gaara. He is going to be upset when he finds out about what he did to Naruto. And Sasuke leaving. Looking forward to the next chapter. See ya
| Kokobeexx chapter 11 . 10/6/2013
If I still haven't reviewed I am sorry, but I really love this fic and I hope that you some day will continue with this story :) This fic has good potentional and it gives thoughts... Also the characterization is great...
| Angelix.onix.luna chapter 11 . 6/23/2013
You must continue I'm itching to see what would happen once yahiko sees nagato and konan although i figure thats atleast a little ways away from this point in the story although you did mention about yahiko seeing konan possibly sooner then expected...Oh oh oh it's pretty much confirmed in canon that nagato is a uzumaki same with Karin( who was confirmed in a flashback to have been in the same chunin exams as Naruto's team under cover as a kusa genin(two teams according to kabuto were from kusa) taking In account nagato appearance when his parents were killed and all that I figure him and kushina to be around the same age in canon(he's probably a year or so older then her since it was mention he had brats back in konoha to get back to so that he could teach em)(which btw ima be a little pissed if when they meet nagato doesn't at least try to harm yahiko and call him a traitor for joining konoha since if I remember correctly konoha nins were the ones responible for his parents death)...HEY WAIT A MINUTE! In here do you have yahiko being around kakashis age that would throw several things outta wack...gah lost track of thought...oh yeah the way i see it i figured Nagato would have at one point told Konan and Yahiko about his maternal family roots as a Uzumaki which i think should have cause yahiko to instantly recongnize Naruto's last name and figured that he was related to nagato somehow which would only strengthen his resolved to protect and look after Naruto since he's was most likely one of Nagatos last surviving clanmates. You can possibily put that in there or you can have it where since considering how yahiko was before the uchiha massacre and stuff he could have just brushed off the Uzumaki name as being just randomly selected for the orphan to hide his namikaze heritage since of course the uzumaki clan was thought to be all wiped out during the second gsw and since the boy has blonde hair and not the trademark red commonly known to be a dominant gene in the clan he wouldn't be thought of being a true bonafide blood member resulting in yahiko not really connecting the dots. I figured nagato thinking would be the same if and when he finds out narutos last name since you could put that his mother( who I assume is a full blooded uzumaki looking at episode 172 shippuden from canon) had told him about her clan before she died and the red hair and such which could cause him to possibly be pissed at naruto for 'stealing' his clan name. Meh I know my review makes no sense lol
| Addiction's Curse chapter 1 . 4/25/2013
Constructive criticism below, feel free to skip.
"Yahiko didn't know what he felt, at one moment, numbness, AT THE NEXT MOMENT, something crumbling all around him and and AT THE NEXT MOMENT, he felt cold, like he had plunged into something. And AT THE NEXT MOMENT, like..."
Was it really necessary to use it THREE times in a row? It's repetitive, which is something you should try to avoid if possible. I would suggest changing the last 'at the next moment' to: 'And then, like...'
| SuperVegitoFAN chapter 4 . 4/6/2013
i didnt see naw pervy side, but the scene with rin felt VERY familiar, due too a mental disorder ive gotten myself into my share of problems, the disorder is called aspergers syndrome, and well i fit to it like anakin skywalker to the force, i mean its ridiculous.
Everything i read about, i just sit there laughing at the absudity of fitting so well into the criteria its insane.
BTW if it was your meaning to make yahiko a fish out of water then congratulations, its working.
| SuperVegitoFAN chapter 3 . 4/6/2013
Is nagato and konan still alive?
For all that nagato knows yahiko is dead which is one of the many pains that let him to take that alias with the 6 paths tech, so is he still gonna do that?
cause that would be really interesting because of
A, whos then gonna be tendo (deva path) yahiko OBVIOUSLY cant take that role and
B. The meeting between the 3 (4 if we narutos there as well)
| SoraHuuzuke chapter 11 . 3/31/2013
You're following pretty close to cannon. Do you plan to deviate more or stick as close as you can to it?
| Furionknight chapter 11 . 3/9/2013
I look forward to more :)
| 1sunfun chapter 11 . 2/15/2013