|Reviews for A Flower for You|
| D. Navaron chapter 1 . 1/25
Short but good! Keep up the good work!
| Abby1327 chapter 2 . 10/9/2013
Good job! Nice and simple. I enjoyed reading it so much keep up the good work!
| bryanhern14 chapter 2 . 3/14/2013
| bryanhern14 chapter 1 . 3/14/2013
Great I know am not suppose to read this because am a boy but still really great
| ImagineI chapter 2 . 3/4/2013
Hello again : )
- 'Mitsuhashi University had ended early for all the student' - should be 'Mitsuhashi University had ended early for all the students', notice the plural.
- 'each others' should be 'each other's', notice the possessive apostrophe (').
- Again, with all your speech, remember to either close it with a full-stop before the closing speech-marks or a comma if you're going to go on to say who spoke and in what way.
- 'Hiroki sensei' should be 'Hiroki-sensei'.
- 'Misaki rubbed the back of his head as the two happen to walk past a small kindergarten' should be 'Misaki rubbed the back of his head as the two happened to walk past a small kindergarten' - stay aware of the tense you write in (past or present) and remember to maintain it throughout your writing.
- 'as they enjoy themselves in the early afternoon' should be 'as they enjoyed' - same thing as above, maintain the tense.
- 'black hair girl with piggy tales' should be 'black-haired girl with pig-tails'.
- 'she happen to catch the eyes' should be 'she happened' - same rule as above.
- 'The two students spent the afternoon help plant tulips' should be 'The two students spent the afternoon helping to plant tulips'.
- '"Welcome home" Greeted a man from the couch, apparently was reading the newspaper.' - Okay- remember to put some punctuation before the closing speech marks (so "Welcome home," or "Welcome home!"). There doesn't need to be a capital 'G' in 'Greeted' as it's still part of a sentence so 'greeted' is accurate. It should be 'who was apparently reading the newspaper'.
Your characters are written very well, very in-character and believable. Usagi-san's speech at the end was very fitting and entertaining and the presence of that tulip at the end is such a wonderful idea! Leaves a smile on the reader's face afterwards.
I really hope you continue these!
| ImagineI chapter 1 . 3/4/2013
Hi there .
I really enjoyed reading this- it was sweet and painted a beautiful picture. The idea of doing drabbles based on flowers is a truly gorgeous idea.
There are quite a few mistakes in your spelling and grammar and seeing as how you mentioned at the end that you're here to improve, I thought I might mention them just to help, one writer to another : )
- 'young high scholar' should be 'young high-schooler'. A scholar is a professional academic, where a high-schooler is more accurate to describe Misaki, as he is just a student.
- 'I'm ready" Misaki called for his lover as he zipped up his bag' should be 'I'm ready," Misaki called for his lover as he zipped up his bag. You just missed a comma (,) and a full-stop, but they're important in maintaining the flow of writing.
- "Yeah, I just need to type out the last paragraph" A man by the mane of Usagi-san answered' - Again, you need to put a comma at the end of speech before the closing speech-marks if you're going to describe who spoke and in what way. Also, 'mane' should be 'name' (I'm sure that was just an honest mistake) and there always needs to be a full-stop at the end of a sentence. It should be "Yeah, I just need to type out the last paragraph," a man by the name of Usagi-san answered.
- 'you won't be in such a rush to finish it off today and we could have gotten a good spot too" should be 'you wouldn't be in such a rush to finish it off today and we could have gotten a good spot too."
Please just remember your commas and full-stops - if you have any confusion, please don't hesitate to ask.
Aside from that your English is good!
'Giving Misaki another kiss but a more passionate one as the winds flutter the soft pink cherry blossoms.' - Such a lovely image!
And the idea that Usagi-san had reserved the whole park is really in character, made me properly smile : )
This was lovely to read!
| gest chapter 2 . 9/29/2012
it is really good my only advice is to keep writing !
| Moeotaku chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
Both stories were super cute! Sometimes I like the stories short and sweet, but the no need to be "not very confident" in your writing. You're not that bad. Keep writing and you'll get even better!
Speaking of keep writing, may I request a story based on a daisy? It's my favorite for it's simple beauty.
Oh, and I think you misspelled name in the Cherry Blossoms story.
" A man by the *name* of Usagi-san..."
Thanks for writing these. I'm looking forward to reading your other stories!
| SplicedShyla chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
XD SO CUTE! ITS EXCELLENT. This my frist guy on guy anime I watched am so watching it again now