|Reviews for The 3 Keys of OZ|
| Count Mallet chapter 5 . 1/10
Just so you know, a “chapter” consisting of just an announcement (as you did for chapter five) is technically against the site's rules. What you could do, instead, is delete that chapter, and add the announcement to the beginning of the present chapter six (which would then become chapter five).
Also, you may want some way to distinguish between your comments and story content. Some authors boldface their opening/closing comments. Others use the vertical line available in the chapter editor. Some, will use a centered symbol such as * or # to mark the transition between notes and the story proper. This also helps make it easier to read chapters.
As for the chapter, it appears our main characters are still a bit awestruck with being in the land of Oz. Given that any teen would probably react in disbelief to news that they were now in a magical and mystical fairy land, I think you handled the main them of the chapter very well.
Also, you did a great job using italics to represent thoughts. The only small thing—something I recently discovered myself—is that one doesn't need quotes for enclosing thoughts because they aren't actual dialog. It surprised me, too, but ever since I learned this, I started using that with my own writing.
At the end, you could probably eliminate the “(Somewhere in Oz)” tag and begin the next paragraph with “Elsewhere, a soft gentle voice said, “The Prophecy is coming together.” I know it's tricky to pull off changing points of view and do so effectively (one of my first stories did that before I chose to rewrite it in third person), but integrating the change right into the text is very effective for the readers.
To answer your question, I believe the person in question is Glinda or perhaps a descendent or her successor if she is no longer living. I'll be curious to see who it is once you have time to write the next chapter.
Finally, I'm glad you had time to resume this story. The Oz categories on here don't get much attention in terms of stories and readership. I wrote a small crossover in the Books»Oz Series section this fall. Even though it wasn't read all that much, I still enjoyed writing it and don't regret it one bit. In turn, I hope you can have fun with the rest of this story.
- Count Mallet -
PS: I'm not sure what you use for writing your chapters (MS Office, Open Office, etc.), but those usually have options for checking grammar. Just be careful, though. Sometimes spell/grammar check make recommendations that wouldn't make sense, especially with proper names.
| Count Mallet chapter 4 . 7/15/2013
I'm glad to see you update. I happened to notice a response to one of my reviews and I think I've figured out who Kay's grandfather is, especially with what might have been a hint here. But don't worry, I won't say it here so I don't spoil it for anyone else.
I wonder what will happen to Kay & her friends in Oz. I'm sure Kay has no idea what to expect and her friends will probably freak out some. I can only hope her jewel has powers to help or protect her as well.
I hope you are able to update soon.
- Count Mallet -
| A Fan Of Oz chapter 4 . 7/15/2013
I think you're doing very well as far as writing my dear. I would though and I've had people tell me this a lot my entire life too with writing. Check your grammar and spelling.
I've been reading this since you put it up and I'm enjoying it immensely.
Keep going with it. You're doing very well.
| Dark Gotham chapter 3 . 6/3/2013
First, I do like this story but it's sort of hard to read and fallow. I'd like to see it beta read if at all possible , 'cause you do have a good story going on. I hope that you are able to continue it some point in the future, it is good and very promising.
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/29/2013
You shud def. finesh it. It's asumm
| AmethystRose13 chapter 3 . 5/16/2013
Ok so to Count Mallet I will do corrections once i finish this story which will be quite awhile, since i am planing to have more than 20 and yes i have gave hints on who is Kay's grandfather, look back on ch 2 and part of ch 3 when Kay is describing her nightmare. But thank you for the help i very appreciated but until i finish on what i want to write for the rest of my story i won't do much of my corrections until then. Thank you :)
| Count Mallet chapter 3 . 5/16/2013
I was glad to see an update to this story. I'm a bit busier this Spring, but I'm trying to catch up on my reading.
One thing I noticed is mixed tense with verbs. If you write a paragraph in past tense, all the verbs should be in the past as well. Similarly, for a paragraph in the present tense, all the verbs should be in the present tense. Mixing the two together can make the reading a bit awkward.
Also, try to remember what I said in my last review about dialogue. Starting a new paragraph when someone else speaks makes it a lot easier for readers to know who says what.
That said, I'm glad to see the plot advance. I am very curious who Kay's grandfather is. I'm not sure if you've already dropped a hint or if the man's identity is yet to be revealed.
- Count Mallet -
| natty.buck.1 chapter 3 . 5/14/2013
Yay!its really gr8!
| grapejuice101 chapter 3 . 5/14/2013
I love it. More updates ASAP please.
| AmethystRose13 chapter 2 . 5/11/2013
Wow i been getting a few favs here and i thank u guys for doing that. I am working on ch 3 its almost half done so probably might be done by the end of this month or next month ok :)
| natty.buck.1 chapter 2 . 5/9/2013
:o please update! :DD it's really good so far!
| Count Mallet chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
This is an interesting start to the story. Will we learn who Dorothy's husband is at some point? I will check out the next chapter to see if I want to follow this further.
Some suggestions for your writing style:
» Flashbacks can be tricky to include. I included one in one of my stories and wasn't sure how to do it, so I tried to look online for some pointers. Every page I found had different ideas, but they all seemed to agree that using something (start flashback) and (end flashback) should be avoided.
As a possible suggestion for yours, I might consider:
And what a day it been of June 13, 2011. I still remember how my parents woke me up...
That way your writing of present events seamlessly flows into the flashback without the need for the visual indicators.
» Also, when using dialogue, a new paragraph makes it easy to indicate new speakers:
"Grandma, what are you doing up?" Kay asked.
"I wanted to spend some time with my granddaughter before I go to sleep," she replied.
- Count Mallet -
| kpoaps chapter 1 . 10/13/2012
What is the beta key so i can play the game
| Sorceress Eternity 2 chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
Once I can use my computer to log in, I'm gonna put this story into my story alert list. I hope you continue this!
| AmethystRose13 chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
OK whoever is reading this I am sorry if this does not make sense for you. I am not much of a good writer but I hope you guys will understand. This is my first Fan Fic.