|Reviews for Cold Attraction|
| laloga chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
So, I'm not familiar with the piece that this is based off of, but you present a fascinating glimpse into that world. Loved the intensity of Neyo's lust for Neko, how he wants to possess her utterly and completely, feelings that are spurred by her cool indifference. There's something so delicious about a man who hides such turbulence beneath a veneer of calm, and it strikes me that they are probably well-matched.
FYI, I saw the note that you re-edited, but this part still confused me a bit: "When he saw the two arrogant mongrel personnel arguing with Neko and Willow over whether or not the two men had the right to make the sisters their whores for the night, Neko wasn't sure what surprised him more- the fury on Neko's face, or the fury he felt at the two men getting anywhere his sisters, especially Neko."
Anyway, this was wonderfully written - just like all of your work! Great one-shot! :D
| LongLiveTheClones chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Whoa. If I beg on bended knee, would you write a second chapter to this? Haven't read the Moondoe saga, however, you did a great job summing up what was going on so it was easy to catch up with the characters. (Of course, now, I'm totally intrigued and want to read more.) But, wow...
One thing I found confusing in the beginning was how similar the names of the two lead characters were: Neko and Neyo. Like twins or something. I guess that works if they are soulmates, but from a reading standpoint, I had to go back up to the top two or three times to remind myself which was the guy and which was the gal. Once I got that straight in my head, I was good to go. Loved how blunt Neko was in admitting that he wanted Neyo. Yet, when he was presented with the opportunity to have her, he decided he asked for a delay. Then, when being told a delay was not an option, he just bluntly said what he wanted.
If you do decide to do a second chapter, (OK, I am begging on bended knee), would love to see him have some second thoughts about what he has asked of her despite how much he lusts for her. This would ultimately leave the choice in her hands, and give her a chance to form an attraction to him, (which could take time and happen on another night/at another time), but would not be through a forced circumstance. Just a thought. i.e. They get back to his room and in the middle of a hot and heavy kiss he breaks it off: "No. This is wrong. It was dishonorable of me to ask this is of you. If I do, I am no different from those other men who wanted to take your sisters. You deserve better." At the same time that he says this, she can say that he is aching with need, and shaking with lust, yet he is letting her go at the same time. Makes his personal honor that much more significant, and in the end, she does go. But, after that, she cannot get him off her mind, knowing he burns for her, yet let her go. To have someone yearn for her, yet give her the right to choose is a powerful feeling, and not one she had ever experienced before. She now feels empowered, and no one had ever put her in a position of feeling empowered before.
| Moondoe chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Wooooooow! I'm blown away...this is awesome...I love it! It's well written and organized, I'm overwhelmed. Bravo and kandosii, ner vod!