|Reviews for Doom|
| rinpup14 chapter 7 . 12/16/2013
| Kihlala Sisters chapter 7 . 7/11/2013
Love it XD
| rawrpandabear chapter 2 . 5/7/2013
| samanthatm chapter 7 . 9/26/2012
| MobMotherScitah chapter 7 . 8/12/2012
This was unimaginative and very bare. There are tons of mistakes in every category. Anne is sort of like... Just there. She brings nothing to the table. She doesn't improve anything. I greatly recommend a rewrite and add a little more substance to it. And one of my biggest pet peeves, greater than anything and everything else in FanFiction, is Line Stealing. Try giving her her own dialogue.
I will compliment that your general formatting and separating it nicely into easier reading chapters is pretty good. But... I think that's the only thing I CAN compliment... Which is unfortunate.
I do hope you improve. It's always nice when writers do.
Best of luck,
| Spirit Speaker chapter 3 . 7/24/2012
This is good so far, but you might want to find a beta to go over this, just to clean it up a little bit. There are some grammatical errors that could be fixed and some misused words that would be a good idea to correct. Things such as missed periods and commas, and words like 'nudist' used instead of 'noticed' and 'excretions' instead of 'expressions'.
Just some friendly advice, nothing more :)
| SPEEDIE22 chapter 7 . 7/22/2012