I recently found your story "The Wizard from Earth", and have found it a very original story.
I see it hasn't been updated in a while, and I hope some day you will manage to complete it.
I admit I am not a writer by any means, though I read like a demon.
I have found you writing well done and very easy to read, character design and development are good, and the pacing is not too hard to understand. Plot is quirky, which for me is fun.
Thank you for your effort and time.
Michael.

Harry is lucky he is not me. I would have refused to give up my old life, and of the guy wanted me to be happy, I'd be miserable on purpose.

(I never claimed sanity. Just stubborness and high Value of Freedom and Freedom of choise.)

(And definatly lied my ass off because he speaks in riddles and refuse to explain why.

And told him that if he didn't want me to have kids, I'd definitely have them. JUST to spite him.
And that's coming from someone who hates kids.)

Sadly Harry is an idiot. By ehich I mean a do-gooder who just let people and life throw him around like a sock-puppet.

I kinda hope that he learns to be more ruthless and selfish, and powerful.

I suspect he's imortal... tho the exact reason is unclear.

I also hope he starts to pull what little he knows about technology out his ass and start changing the world.

I have never studied how a water closet toilet works, but I can easily guess a few ways to make that hapoen -ancient egypt actually uses a similar technique to move water upwards to water the farms a but further from the river.

Of course, creating a sewer system would be a bitch and a half, even with magic, but that's what slave-labor is for. _

...althoygh it MUST be fortified by magic.
Because I sincerely doubt he knows how to make cement and how to fortify structures like that.

He could easily help the military improve tho. Even an idiot knows the bare basics of how a gun works, and if he finds an invetive person or ten that he can give the little basics he knows... maybe send for someone to trade with Greece for scrolls on sciency stuff... he COULD change the world.

Speaking of scrolls...

Did Harry learn how to create books with his magic soomehow, or does the ancient egyptians actually know how to bind books jnto "a thick tome" that the apprentice can read?

I was under the impression that everything was stored on scrolls... isn't bookbinding a more modern art? Oo

I don't know why he was thrown into the past, but by and large people and deities don't like it when you mess up history badly by introducing modern things.

And I still think the ass that sent him to the past deserves a good kick in the ass. Regardless of why he did it.

I just dislike people who refuse to give someone a choice.

That said, this story has the potential to be every bit as great as Tiro's The Nightmare Man, or Ebenbild's Baselisk Born.

(In both stories Harry is sent to the past, becomes Imortal, and have to live his way up to modern times.

Tho neither is in Ancient Egypt, which makes your story unique. _)

I also hooe Harry becomes more cynical and ruthless.
But if the story is even remotly realistic he WILL be.

Morals are shaped by what you live throygh, and the people around you. And they often change when you enter a new culture -provided you stay there long enough and intergrate yourself properly.

(Cults is the best example of this. But it does happen when moving from one culture to another, as long as you don't isolate yourself like an idiot and refuse to learn the ways of the new country you live in.)

And the older you get, the more cynical and jaded you get. That's a fact of life.

Of course, violence, betrayal and all the ugly sides of humanity, and how much of them you see, will impact how strong those qualities will be.

And your losses will make you bitter.

Only someone with the mindset of a budist monk can avoid it. And Harry ain't one of them.

Which is good, because human flaws makes for a more compelling character.

Oh, and PLEASE let us see some more culture differences! :D

Women in amcient egypt had very different roles from modern women, and his wife would be HORRIFIED if he suggested she acted differently, because she'll believe what she does is right and good and just. And the will of the gods.

I imagine living with highly religious people will become a pain in the ass at some point too. Lol

Will he adapt to ancient culture? Intergrate?
Or will he try and fight for the modern values that everyone else think ranges from "crazy" to downright evil?

His magic may help him with the lack of modern comfort, but they can't fix how people think, or how the world functions.

I love this story, and I look forward to see how it turns out. _

If Harry lives long enough he'll figure out that wandless magic is easy enough to do...
...it's the lack of finess that's the problem.

If you wanna blow something up; easy.
If you wanna stir a spoon in a teacup, however, you're more likely to blow up the teacup.
And if you want to summon a book, it's likely easy enough, but the aim... not so much.

PotterWiki has a page on it.
Apperantly very common in africa, but extremely rare in europe.
There is a chance that european wizards believes it's impossible and thus never even try.
Humans often believe blindly in what books or people in power tells them, without ever checking themselves.

And that's just the stupid side of human psychology.
The Dark side says it's a miracle anyone survives to adulthood, AND doesn't kill anyone on the way.

If you wanna loose all faith in mankind; Study psychology.

I've studied it for more than 20 years, and my view on humanity only gets worse with every new thing I learn.

Haven't Harry learned Sectemserpa? (Or whatever. Snape's bifty little spell.)

His do-gooder mind is not going to do well in the brutal world that was...anythung before the 1900s. *Sigh*

I'd have killed first and asked questions later. It's safer that way, and they deserves it.

But nice use of Crucio. _

Although I hope Harry picked up on his complaints.
If a part of the kingdom suffers, that is something the pharao should know about.
He IS the protector, and as far as I can tell from history, they genuinely believed it was a sacret duty from the gods. (Until a little before Cleopatras time at least. Ancient Egypt slowly grew corrupt as their religion slowly died out. Around the tume the Romans... not invaded, but came.)

Still, this story is extremely intriguing and enjoyable to read. _

I kinda eanna smack Harry over the head and tell him to tell the kid he's been blessed by the gods for gis faith and sense of justice. And say some dumbledore wise shit about how great power comes with great responsibility to make him not do what Voldie did.

The kid won't understand magic or sorcery. But he WILL understand a gift from the gods. He'll also accept that he's been given some kind of power and responsibility by the gods easier than just happen to have some strange and scary power for no good reason.

But I guess Harry never really were elequent, so at least he's written realistically. Lol

It should be semi-easy to find the culpits if they're aiming for the throne of Egypt.

For one thing, it is heridatery. And the order of inheritance is extremely clear-cut.

And because it ties in with religion, the people would NEVER follow a pharao that was not the rightful ruler by that hierarchy.

People did kill their way to the top, but usually via their own numerous siblings.
Unlike in western medival monarchies you couldn't hust declair yourself king either. You had to be aproved of by the right people.

(During the Roman semi-takeover of Egypt, that someone was Rome. The emperor specifically.

Not sure who it was in Egypt's heyday, but my bets is on the temple priests of Amun-Ra. And the temple priests, being TRUE believers, could rarely, if ever, be bribed or corrupted.
They believed in terrible consequences if they failed their duties.
Enough to scare them from any form of corruption.)

The omake: lol

But it would have been even funnier if he just pulled the plug on the machine, like...

"Well, he knew jack shit about how this machine worked, but he knew how to deal with electronics gone one out control."

And the he pulls the plug and it stops.

Because every sci-fi movie ever forget how bloody easy it is to stop runaway tech when it needs a powersource. xD

I love this story, but I think you're rushing the next bad event there.

A cliffhange IS nice to draw people in, but constant suspence makes for a bad story.
It should oscillate between action events and damger... and nice, peaceful life.

Maybe he spent a year training his aprentice, getting married, whatever familly bliss...

And at the end of THAT chapter his wife got kidnapped. Maybe while he was put inspecting the water measurements om the Nile or on some boring diplomatic shit to a neighboring country.

THAT is a captivating story.
Less stressful, and the danger feels greater because you allowed the reader (and Harry) a short, joyful moment to contrast it.

As the Count of monte crosto says:
There is no great sadness in this world without the joy to contrast it. And only the man who has felt the greatest pain can truly experience the greatest pleasure.

(I may have paraphrased it. I didn't read the book in english. Lol)

Point is:

Your story is brilliant!
It just needs a tint bit polish here and there to be even better.

Is there a reason Haru only have a single bedroom to himself?

I seem to remember that the royals, and the royal vizir, had a whole set of rooms in the palace.
Cramped living is for the poor.
More room than anyine could possibly need is for the rich.

(Although egyprians weren't half as extreme as Romans on either side of that, they still had some pretty big spaces in the palace.)

The side-story is a nice touch.
And the distance between the pieces of it is very perfect -close enough to not forget it, but far enough apart to not be annoying or overshadow the main story.

Kudos on that. _

I SINCERELY doubt the dursley's ever set foot in a church. Outside their marrige and MAYBE baphtizing dudley that is -but non-religious events in most people's mind these days.

They show zero hints of being cristians, and brits doesn't do part-time religion the way americans do.

Either you are a cristian, follow the teachings, go every week and so on... or you don't go. Ever.
(Except the two abovementioned events.)

I have never heard of a middleground.
Admittingly, while I lived in London, not ONE of the people I knew were remotely religious in any way, shape or form.

Not counting the witches and occultists at the Watkin's Book Talk events.

Shouldn't Harry be urged to consult a priestess of Hathor?

A priest of Bast wouldn't know of desteny and the future, he us right about that. She is the protector of the home, not a weaver of desteny.

But isn't the drunken priestesses of Hathor prone to Visions or something?
I admit she is not a godess I know much about, so I coukd be wrong.

He will the seering heath of summer? *Raises an eyebrow*

I'm no expert, but Egypt is hotter than Rome, and I would hessitate to travel anywhere in the baking heat in summer here.

Winter is a better time for travel I would think.

But I must admit the desert gets cold at night, so maybe he plans to travel at night and rest during the day. Then summer makes more sense.
Actually, traveling at night in general makes sense in a hot climate.

Although the air is arid, which I have heard (from mexicans) that makes the heath feel less hot.

...how is a bird a lizard to people who have never heard of dinosaurs?

Pop quiz:

Are there different types of bears for festivities?
Cuz I know they watered down beer like Romans watered down wine, because it was safer to drink than water so everyone and their children drank it. A LOT of it.

"In Ancient Egypt, around 3100 BC, having an indoor toilet showed a wealthy status. If you were rich, you sat on limestone while 'paying a visit'. If you were poor, you made do with a wooden stool with a hole in it. But regardless of class, below each seat was a pit filled with sand to collect the waste."

You learn something new every day. _

I have to admit that pointimg out the toulet situation was a stroke of genious. Most authors never do. Lol

I love stories with realistic culture clashes.

I pity Harry, I truly do. Learning a new language is a bitch and a half.

I've spent the last five months in Rome learning Italian with an ingensive course, and I STILL feel like an idiot when I try to speak.

(It doesn't hell that Italian grammar is miles from english and scandinavian. And in my opinion: overcomplicated.)

(Oh, and I understand a lot. And know a lot of words and grammar. But unfortunately people never USE simple word and grammar, and you need a minimum of 5000 words AND every version of past, present, and future, to be flueng.

And it's not enough if the language has different forms for saying the same verb, like italian verbs changes based on who says it, adhective changes to match the gender of the verb, there is at least 2 different ways to talk about the past depending on if you did something habitualy or one time... I could go on.)

And I imagine ancient Egyptian is VERY different from english as well.
But I only know a few words and have forgotten every hireoglyph I once knew.
(Not that it would have helped. In everydat life they used the simplified writing, that is still as extensive as chinese characters, if not more. Lol

And HE doesn't have classes for 4 hours a day plus a book with homework. And a grammar book on the side.
Poor Harry.

It would not suprise me one bit if their "gods" were Wizards and Witches that wither enjoyed playing tricks on muggles (like the maruders would have), enjoyed the Power over muggles (like the Malfoys would have), or did the same as Harry and accidentally saved people with magic and moved elsewhere to avoid the annoyance.

(Animagi would explain the animal parts too.)

Although I WOULD be almost 100% sure that the Pharao and his line is decendant of magicals.

But they might genuinely believe they have a duty to the people because of it, rather than being powerhungry non-believers.

In fact, it wouldn't suprise me if all the magicals are drawn into the pharao's service, or to work as priests and Priestess.

Just because you have maguc it doesn't make you think any different than the people around you.

And the fact that it travels in bloodlines lines neatly up with the fact that most types of work was inherited.
(Except things like education which was bought, but they generally ended up inheriting their father's position anyway.)

Harry worries too much.
MODERN humans would have demanded their problems solved, yes.

But those whom believes he was sent by a deity? The kind of often terrifying deities that was common in ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia ba k then even?
They wouldn't dare.

I would also be suprised if that was a part of the reason for their stature of securety, to be fair. You didn't demand things of g-d or his servants. The consequences of that could be horrible.
Beg, sure. But if you got a no, you'd never dare to ask again.

Ancient Egypt... It would have to be VERY bad to even dare to ask, and never without an apropriate gift to make the miracle worker pacified first.

As long as he stays with a temple, no one would bother him.

But if he starts grasping for power, I suspect those actually in power would start to feel threatened and take action to either get him under their command, or sent somewhere he couldn't be a threat anymore.
(No one would dare kill a deity sent person. The gods were not exactly benevolent. The humans needed a LOT of gifts and some luck for the gods to help them at all. )

20 and unmarried? Oo
Poor girl...
Is something wrong with her, or is she just willful and her family allows her to be?

I don't know what was the avrage age for marrige, but Cleopatra married her brother when he was 12 and she was 20 I think.
(Purely political with religious reasoning, but the Potemalies...Ptemalos... (I can't spell it) family certantly had a few cases on inbreeding. Even if by her time most had children with their lovers over their sibling-husband/wife.)

I know that teenage years is a modernninvemtion tho.
And in other cultures, men married at avragely age 13-14, and the girls a little younger. Depending on when they start to bleed.
(In a place in africa, girls avragely marries as young as 8, and the boys at 12. A pattern I have seen in several tribal societies where women develop early.)

Harry also worries too much. Understandable of course, but still...

They will attribute all 'miracle' to the gods.
He, himself, is just a tool.
Someone to be treated with respect, but still just a tool. Not the deity itself.
Like a Wand.

(Unless he does something REALLY big and/or appears inmortal. Then he's fucked, and there WILL be statues, and likely a cult. Lol)

I really AM curious what will happen.

Are the wizards treated as gods, all living in the main city, or their own special city with muggle servants who feel blessed by just being near them?

Hey! Think THAT is where houseelves came from?

Without restrictions, wizards could become TRULY powerful.

Or at there real deitoes involved?

Have you read (or listened to) the book "24 Hours in Ancient Egypt"?

If you enjoy writing about ancient egypt, that book is amazingly valuble -describing the everyday life of people in a multitude of various professions, from a Priestess of Hathor to students trying to become Scribes, to a potmaker, to the pharao's right hand man.

While I mainly know the basics of the most common deities, a good amount on Seth and even more about Apophis/Apep/Ayapep (which admittedly isn't a deity so much as the one whom opposes all of existance and worship was made against, not for)... and a few things I learned from talking to a genuine modern-day priestess of Thoth on tumblr... (they have a suprisingly big Kemetic comunity)...

...I have always loved ancient egypt, and it's mythology.

So I am curious about this story, ans what happens in it.

(Kinda wish there was a story Harry was raised in ancient egypt, and then went to Hogwarts after, but sadly no such thing exist as far as I can see.)

Your story is still intresting. _

Harry is making his portkeys go in straight lines, and is crashing into things as a result, isn’t he?

Ach, I see this has been abandoned for a decade, but should you return know that I thank you for what you have written

Ahah just saw that this was last updated in 2012 so ig my comment is irrelevant but the point still stands.

Authors always make Harry short but in the books I’m pretty sure he’s supposed to be decently tall. 5’10-6’0 it’s presumed. Tired of seeing people always make him so short.

Very imaginitive fic and with good writing to boot. Probably going against the grain here, but I like that you started Harry off as only average. If he was powerful from the get go this 5000 year story would be boring. Leaving room for growth keeps things interesting.

Also, this it totally irrelevant since you're likely to never see this or edit this fic, but when you wrote that Harry thought Mot sounded like mutt, it wouldn't have made sense. He's speaking in a different language after all. In ancient Egyptian, those words probably sound nothing a like. That's like saying "pregnant" sounds like "embarrased", which doesn't make any sense unless you're referring to those words in Spanish. Just a very tiny nitpick I found funny.

But overall, I'm even a bit glad this was abandoned. I don't think I could've dealt with Ahaneith dying as Harry kept aging. My poor ships never sail :')

This has been great, though. It really was lovely and brought back that feeling of awe when it comes to fantasy and worldbuilding.

Oh, this was very nice. Might have to watch Man from Earth now

great story