|Reviews for Back to the Past|
| Never a Writer chapter 2 . 8/25
how tragic, but Hermione made the right choice. Thanks for updating!
| Never a Writer chapter 1 . 8/25
way cool. I like this fic
| Amantedelacomida chapter 2 . 9/24/2014
I love this fic! It's excellent!
| JasperWhitlockIsTheStud chapter 2 . 5/19/2014
I loved this short tale! It was amazing. Frankly, I am glad Hermione chose what she did. This was brilliantly executed. I wouldn't have minded if you extended it. After all, Tom doesn't do rejections too well now does he?
Thank you for this amazing work!
| slytherintriumvirate chapter 1 . 7/6/2013
I wish there could be a sequel!
| AlienChant chapter 2 . 5/5/2013
Wish the story continued...with them meeting on the battlefield and igniting feelings of some sort. Can't imagine their reactions when they see each other again. Still really enjoyed the story though!
| AngeloftheAurora chapter 2 . 4/18/2013
I dislike the ending. Harry came and ruined it.
| patricia.pc chapter 2 . 1/28/2013
Great short story. I'm glad she didn't choose the life of a hermit.
| Crudy chapter 2 . 1/18/2013
Um, what? You're confusing. The selected girls weren't allowed to have wands and Bellatrix has one. Riddle stole Hermione's wand because he left his own in the past but they duelled in the first chapter? In the first chapter Ron is so lazy he has to order a house-elf to fetch things close to him and then in the second chapter Hermione says she's never seen house-elves in the Weasley household. A wife selection just to cover up the fact that what they really wanted was to get Hermione to be on their side? I'm pretty sure there are other ways.
| Zombie Reine chapter 2 . 11/22/2012
The story was great for a quick two shot, bug that ending was tragic. My babies can't be together. ;-;
| uchiha.s chapter 2 . 9/18/2012
First off, I really enjoyed this! Your Tom is certainly IC; I really don't know what you were talking about.
As for Hermione, I found your characterization of her to be quite close, but perhaps a different facet from what I'm used to seeing, especially in the Tomione fandom, where Hermione has reached the status of near demi-god. We don't usually see her flaws, which is why I liked this line quite a bit:
"She had been running away from the things she was uncomfortable with, always hiding behind books. She had never learned the feeling of overcoming a challenge, because she had always run away before she could face it."
Haven't we all felt this way about ourselves at some point? I think, having put Hermione in such a different world, this is a different but fair characterization of her. You've made her relatable. In the first chapter I felt she seemed a bit flat, because you went a bit overboard with pointing out how different Hermione was from the other girls (i.e., not as shallow, etc.) but in this second part, you've given her much more dimension and made her feel much more real.
I also liked the open ending. A lot of people (me included) are tempted to resolve Tomione stories; somehow, they MUST END UP TOGETHER OMG *kicks aside all plot constructions that otherwise forbid this* But you didn't go that route, and it highlighted that angsty deliciousness that brings us all to Tomione. They're enemies but there's definitely an undeniable connection there.
One thing I think you could do more of is to give more life to your side characters. I also felt that Dumbledore read a bit generically. Not that he was OOC, but I think with a few well-placed lines, you could really add more vibrance to your etcetera characters and all.
I also think that sometimes your phrasing isa bit clunky. Nothing bad, obviously. For the most part, your writing mechanics are great and really advanced. I don't think anyone would be able to tell your actual age from reading this, which is a great achievement. But I do think that investing in perhaps a new beta (since it sounds like your current one is MIA) would be really worthwhile for you, just to smooth out the clunky phrases and to make your writing flow more.
Other than that, I really really enjoyed this. I am so impressed with your work. I'll respect your request to not read other stories of yours yet, but I have to say that whoever got you in the Secret Santa should be very excited right now Great job. This is totally going on my favorites list.
| Sariniste chapter 2 . 9/1/2012
Mari, this was an interesting AU, and I enjoyed your implementation of the idea. My favorite line was: "she didn't feel like locking herself in a room with two people as dangerous as Tom and Bellatrix was a good idea. They were both slightly insane and seemed to have an obsession with causing pain."
Looking forward to reading more of your work.
| kutsky chapter 2 . 8/30/2012
plssssssssssssssss update this
| Lady Miya chapter 2 . 8/16/2012
Wow, that was really an awesome story! I loved the way you wrote Tom and Hermione. They were both so in character! I especially enjoyed the way you wrote Tom in this:
"He had thought of making a book in to a human. He did not need someone to share his plans with, but there was only so much he could take of his followers before he went insane. He needed someone to anchor him down, to challenge his mind and spit his words back at him. He wanted someone to learn knowledge from—though never would they be superior to him. So far, he was feeding knowledge to everyone around him and receiving none; that thought made him sick. Tom Riddle did not give for free." - It is always hard to find a reason for Tom to be with Hermione, but this was really spot on, so yay on you!
"Tom said, not taking his eyes off the page, "You were quite attractive as a baby. The stark naked look is looks quite good on you."" - Well, this is just what we all love with Tom, his cockiness and bluntness when he wishes to use it. Yay!
I was worried that you'd let Hermione take the coward's way out, and so happy when you decided to keep her in character and have her fight for other people. That is so her! And kudos of you to bringing in the S.P.E.W! I also liked that you showed the very feminist side of Hermione, in the middle of all the patriarch-business. Yay! Would have loved to see Luna also standing on Hermione's side in that, but this was just a very short story, after all, so, oh, well. It had a very nice flow for being so short as well, not bothering with too many details but going straight for the action and progress of the plot, so yay!
Okay, now I'm just yaying on here... even though there was no smut. But a girl can't have everything, can she? Anyway, thanks for sharing!
| Shan84 chapter 2 . 8/15/2012
Yay, I finally got time to read one of your stories!
Well done Mari! great work :)
Your characterisation of Voldemort was spot on. He was charming, ruthless, intelligent and evil. I also liked that you ended it the way you did. Yes, I - like all Tomione shippers - love a happy ending, but this suited the story and their interactions and chracterisation.
Oh, and these lines had me ROFLing:
"The royal family had begun in1975, when Lucius Malfoy decided that he was too extraordinary for the purebloods and decided to make himself King."
- so something that Malfoy would do *sniggers*
"Hermione glared at the offending wand. "He has crimson eyes and no nose," here, Tom frowned a little, and she saw it as her advantage and pressed on. "He is completely bald and his skin is rather shiny so you won't be able to miss him." She paused. "Not that you would miss him in the first place. He stands out a lot.""
- LOL bald and shiney *sniggers harder*
I also loved the banter between Tom and Hermione... it was really engaging and I looked forward to it every time.
Haha, "Prince Ronald" made me laugh too. He was kinda cute in his own Ron-like way... but there is only one Queen for Ronnie and that's QueenDream ;P
Thank you for posting... very promising Tomione author right here. Keep up the great work :)