|Reviews for Disagreements and Situations|
| MaiWishes chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
Toooomany footnotes, stoud only had about 1 a page
| Guest chapter 6 . 12/16/2012
well done, but the footnotes were a bit too frequent, funny and witty as they were. And the dialogue was a bit lengthy too. Almost like they were taking turns presenting monologues, actually. But at least what they had to say was well thought out. The message and story overall was very good. Just work on being CONCISE, vary sentence length. A great short sentence can often carry more weight or drama in it than an average or good long sentence. Other than that, I liked it and enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work.
| silver colour chapter 6 . 10/29/2012
I love this story! I've only just found it(which is a shame) and I really, REALLY like it! There are so few interesting Bartimaeus & Ptolemy stories, it's just a shame.
Also, I like the way you've made Bartimaeus' footnotes(besides the fact that they're Bartimaeus', and I would love them no matter what), they're easy to read(/find?), because you don't need to scroll down to the end of the page, where most authors leave them.
Please keep up the good work! I've just seen that you have another bartimaeus story, so you may find another review from me there.
I look forward to reading more of your stories!
| anon chapter 6 . 10/16/2012
You know this is an amazing story, you nailed Bartimaeus character and all. Cool plot. Hilarious humor. Aaaand emotional perfectly at the end, but i think i know what the problem is to the few reviews. Chapters 2 to 6 are freaking awesome! but the first one...it just doesn't hook you so much. I had to check this thing twice to actually read it and that was because i was desperate to find more Bartimaeus goodies and was re-reading some stories i passed by quickly at first.
and it's a shame to miss the rest of it because of a medium start.
i don't know..i don't have any advice to fix it sorry.
and i mean no offense. Honest! it's just how i feel about it!
| Guest chapter 6 . 9/16/2012
Oh god... T-that ending... why? Why? I'm trying very hard not to cry now. (And doing a miserable job of it.)
Anyway, I really liked this story. You've got a good writing style, and managed to keep everyone in-character. I loved the Bart and Ammet interaction.
| bartimaeus fan chapter 6 . 8/17/2012
that was seriously an amazing fanfic! you've got real talent staying into character and writing interesting stuff at the same time! i loved it! please write more!
| Radio Free Death chapter 1 . 8/6/2012
-the dark skinned boy-
Don't need to do this. Just use his name.
-The summerian youth-
Nah. Ptolemy was Egyptian with Greek ancestry, not Summerian. Different place, different time. Also, don't refer to him by these different adjectives, please. Just use his name, or 'him'.
Closing comments: It's not bad. It feels like a Bartimaeus story at least. The voice is pretty consistent with what we see in the books. Only problem I have is the adjectives. Mind them. Also, there are some slight bit of grammatical bits (ex. Shut up and let me think will you' is a question). Otherwise, it's alright. :)
| silver-wolf-demon-girl chapter 6 . 8/3/2012
ending was a bit weak. you kinda rushed things didn't you? i also wanted to see more faquarl scenes!
so much emotional scenes between barty and ptolemy though! made me wanna cry! specially when i remember how things ended! you should write more bartimaeus fiction! you rock at it!
| silver-wolf-demon-girl chapter 5 . 8/3/2012
i love this more and more with each sentence i read! it's just so gooood! needs a lot more reviews! :(
| silver-wolf-demon-girl chapter 4 . 8/3/2012
great capture of bartimaeus character. he's hilarious in this as much as the book! the fight scenes were good too. haha it's funny you sarcasm your own self inside the story!
| silver-wolf-demon-girl chapter 3 . 8/3/2012
ptolemy and ammet discussion huh? interesting! you dragged i tiny bit the explanation of ptolemy about his relationship with bartimaeus and how he earned his trust. just a bit..otherwise still cool!
| silver-wolf-demon-girl chapter 2 . 8/3/2012
wow! this is reaaaaaally well written! it's so much fun to read! i like scenes with bart and faquarl so that makes it even better! thank you for sharing the story with us! it's pretty cool!
| Login Nevar chapter 5 . 8/2/2012
I can't describe just how big my smile was while reading this. Though may I say, NASA will be freaking out. I LOVE this story! I wanna hug it and poke its little face and then hug it again! There is practically nothing wrong with this fic at all.*
Like I was saying, PRAISE.
PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE.
Love it. Can't wait for the next part.
* constructive critique is going down here cos I don't want it to taint my PRAISE. Rightio, some words could have been left out- like "well" etc- just to make those particular phrases punchier. Also, this seriously contributed to the huge smile, sometimes you had "loin" instead of "lion", which, in sentences like: 'A confused expression took over my loin's face which Ammet must've noticed.' made me fall out of my chair :D but don't fret, I've done much worse in more irreversible circumstances then you would believe. (public speaking in dyslexic French is definitely up in my top ten, but I'm RAMBLING now, so back to the praise we go!)
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/21/2012
This story's much better than the summary makes it sound. (You might want to improve upon the grammar contained within that to get more readers. Some people will see grammar errors in a summary and not even give the story a chance) I really like this story, and Bartimaeus's humor is perfect.
| Darkerose chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
I think you did very well for your first story.
I thought Bartimaeus's footnotes very like him especially the one about the goat. I hope you do continue this story because it looks like it has a good story line :D