|Reviews for The Foundation of Darkness|
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 9 . 11/24/2013
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! Hermione is so sly and I love how both she and Harry were playing against each other! What will happen now? How will their relationship progress? Update soon, please! It's fantastic and it has me completely enthralled!
| RavenJynx chapter 7 . 10/22/2013
I don't understand these I think you should just write from Hermiones point if view, as otherwise the reader will become confused, and therefore bored as it is just a similar repeat of the before chapter, good attempt though.
| Darklooshkin chapter 9 . 7/8/2013
A tit-for-tat response. He agrees to the conditions, yes. But he also makes it clear that he wants to join her rather than just be left by the wayside.
Kind of like this:
"Fun should, after all, be shared." Harry said in a cold voice. "And you, miss Granger, seem to have plenty to spare."
| Sonicthehedgewolf chapter 9 . 4/5/2013
Vicious little thing, at she? Update soon please
| Brent Dax chapter 9 . 3/12/2013
Harry should agree, get his stuff back, and tell her to fuck off. Or he should tell a teacher about the threat quickly enough that they can search her stuff for the wand (or at least have a ready-made explanation when it turns up with traces of dark magic). What you've set up isn't blackmail, it's a ransom; ransoms allow you to extract one-time concessions like money or valuables, not ongoing ones. Hermione is doing a really dumb thing here.
| VeronikaB chapter 9 . 2/13/2013
i like it
| HypoSoc chapter 9 . 2/7/2013
I wool be severely disappointed if Slytherin Harry does not manage to get back to high ground against Hermione. Also, how did a spell cast by a first year defeat the cloak of death?
| Man of Constant Sorrow chapter 9 . 2/3/2013
I get why Hermione is strong arming Harry but I don't like that Harry ,a slytherin, is so easily cowed. You know you actually have to make her somewhat likeable so we the readers can empathise with her, you have her becoming a user of people you make her no better than the bullies she once dealt with. There needs to be a middle ground for both Hermione and Harry where some level of true friendship can form...merely allies makes for a souless story.
| Man of Constant Sorrow chapter 7 . 2/3/2013
Talent, yes goodness knows you have talent- not too much, though, certainly not as much as some of the other students I have sorted"
You could have just left it at talented...but you neutered him, that was a rather terrible thing to say to an aspiring student, your good but you'll never even come close to what others can accomplish
| Man of Constant Sorrow chapter 6 . 2/3/2013
You had an opportunity in this chapter to further bring Harry and Hermione closer, head injuries are fickle things, personality changes are not unheard of, you could have given Harry a colder more harsh personality. upon waking which could have complimented Hermione's true self.
| Man of Constant Sorrow chapter 5 . 2/3/2013
Okay I greatly enjoy the premise of this story, you write very well, but I felt the need to point out a few things that thus far had me a bit dismayed.
I understand Hermione's guarded nature and her desperate yearning to be accepted, I know from personal experience that when you lie to make friends or placate enemies it always comes back to bite you in the ass. Sooner or later she's going to have a situation where her lies are going to hurt her.
An aspect of this story that I don't quite agree with is the dynamics of Harry and Hermiones relationship, this premise I think would have been better served if you had them admit their similar backgrounds to each other and both agree to take care of each other and learn as much as they can. As it stands their relationship is casual without any substance to bind them. When I read the premise I pictured Hermione and Harry against the world both damaged and looking to prove themselves and have their revenge on those
who would hurt them.
I understand that Hermione is taking center stage in this and I've read where you've promised not to make Hermione super powered, but in the scene with the troll, though she was more not overly strong it. the way it played out made Harry seem very weak and superfluous, atleast in Canon he was
actively trying to bring it down. I don't want to read a story where Harry is
playing second banana, they should be equals!
I'm going to continue reading but I felt the need to voice these concerns while they are fresh in my mind.
| jdtdragonage chapter 8 . 2/3/2013
consider this story favorited
| jdtdragonage chapter 9 . 2/3/2013
awesome cant wait for the next chapter
| lightskiller chapter 9 . 2/2/2013
| The Last Smith chapter 2 . 2/2/2013
This is fucking brilliant.