|Reviews for Old Boy|
| tapioca two-step chapter 5 . 12/28/2015
Your talent really shines whenever you're writing battle scenes. This chapter was fantastic and chock full of everything I was looking for: overwhelming opposition, heroes laughing in the face of death, using Shouts to fortify soldiers (YES PLEASE, why didn't this happen in Skyrim at the Battle of Whiterun?!) and your Dragonborn showing up when all hope seems lost to wipe the floor with the Dominion. The last line was golden, by the way. I can just imagine Ulfgar's eyes bugging out of his head.
Also, I love how Maddhol was disgusted at how alive the battle made her feel. A wonderful little line of characterization that serves to humanize (orcify?) her in the heat of all the blood and carnage.
A couple easy grammar mistakes. I don't know if I found them all, but here's what I did see:
"This was not the case in this particularly town."
"...others perceived lack of sense." Should be others'.
"A tall, figure with arresting jade eyes..."
You also mention somewhere about Ulfgar's "most likely fate" but didn't she actually think he was dead already? Anyway, none of these mistakes were particularly distracting, so fix them only if they bother you. :3
This was a wonderful glimpse into the life and legend of your Dragonborn. Congratulations on finishing it, and thank you for writing it!
| tapioca two-step chapter 4 . 5/12/2015
This chapter has a lot of atmosphere! That said, I would have liked to see the Harkon fight, but that's just cuz I'm a sucker for action scenes.
Anyway, nice job. Thanks for writing!
| Kendoka Girl chapter 2 . 6/17/2014
Yay, I'm back to reading and writing. You really capture the feel and essence of Skyrim and the chapter reads like a Nordic saga, intense and bigger than life. Irileth stands on her own as a significant character with spot on dialog. I also love how the Dragonborn is only known as Boy. Well done!
| tapioca two-step chapter 2 . 1/4/2014
I really, really love how you wrote this battle scene. Boy's characterization was much better in this chapter than the first; probably because he had more things to say even though he only said what he needed to. You did an excellent job with portraying Irileth and Lhoki as well. I like their comraderie, especially when they think they're about to die.
Also how does Old Boy get his horse to stay away from the battle scene? Acajou's horse runs around like an idiot (much like she does) and gets itself killed. Always.
And isn't two years a bit of a long time between the attack on Helgen and the initial attack on the watchtower? You'd think that Alduin would've told his buddies to hurry up with the destruction of...stuff. :)
You have a couple of misspellings in here (Balgruf the Greather?) and Irileth's name isn't capitalized in the last big paragraph depicting Mirmulnir's fabulously gruesome death at the hands of your tight-lipped Dragonborn. :) Other than that, nothing to complain about, and I'm really looking forward to reading the last three chapters of Old Boy's legacy.
Thanks for writing, Thuggie!
| SgtGinger chapter 2 . 1/1/2014
Well, well. You've certainly caught my attention with this one.
| Zelda maniac 23 chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
| darksider45 chapter 1 . 9/2/2013
Very nice! Loved it!
| Kendoka Girl chapter 1 . 1/9/2013
I am just coming back to reading and writing and I'm glad I did. I really enjoyed how your brought Hakon out from the legend. You really write the speech of the characters well and it fits the setting. Incorporating the shouts was excellent too!