|Reviews for Those Three Words|
| keki07 chapter 1 . 10/20/2013
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/4/2013
I say get advice from alli u might as well cause she kind of gave advice to Louis about peaches
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
| Peaceful Dragon Rose chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/4/2012
I love Ethan. peaches love Ethan that he is hot and yes Ethan is a nice boy. P.s manny hate Ethan that he is a bull mammoth p.s.s he is a nice Ethan but manny Is real going to kill Ethan. don't kill him manny
| Jada chapter 1 . 8/27/2012
Alli the helpless romantic
| picahuesos chapter 1 . 8/13/2012
That's was great. Continue please.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
Great job, loved it
and to answer your question
why not have Manny askDeigo for advice?
anyways keep writing
| Xion the Author chapter 1 . 7/22/2012
I've seen this plot before, and in a WAY better setting (two movies ahead by time is too much IMO), but with the Dira fics at rage, this kinda gave me a breather. Take note, I'm giving out constructive criticisms. I NEVER go out flaming other writers. That's just terrible.
Lots of room for improvement, a bit too much grammar errors here and there but I've seen worse. Hell, who am I to talk? I have typos all the time. :P
Hmm... wasn't really expecting Peaches to be going out with Ethan. I'd be thinking something like Louis is still trying to impress her and try to be together with her.
Didn't really see the Ice Age 2 reference, sorry T.T My memory has gone foggy.
I usually review by going down from the top to bottom, but I'll try going at it by priorities. First of all: Show, don't tell. There's a better way to portray things, and that's by showing them. Don't just tell the readers right off the bat. Like, for example, if you made Ellie believe that she WAS his first mate, then the readers would automatically figure out that they don't know anything about Manny's past.
Let the readers figure things out. Don't just explain it to them. And if you explain it to them every now and then, it would be deemed like an act of insult to your reader's intelligence.
Next we have these : [A few minutes later...]
This isn't a comic book. It's a story. Even if you put it into a paragraph right after the last, the readers will understand that the scene has shifted. Take your time and write slowly. Don't just titillatingly press the upload button without checking if you've written everything you want and intended to.
Following would be your "Omniscient Point-of-View". Omniscient being that the narrator (you) is all-knowing about the thoughts and feelings of the characters. With this point of view, the writer can reveal the emotional responses of all the characters and can comment at will on the events taking place.
There is no REAL problem here. You're not really using a Third Person Point of View because what you're doing is exactly what the definition of Omniscient PoV was. But if you use it, never forget that a story is still a story and that readers still need more showing than telling. My point is that you need to give more detail into the characters and the environment. Right now, I could imagine that everything happened during a meteor storm or something.
Also, while using the Omniscient pov, try to keep it under YOUR narration - do not deliver it in such a way that the other characters also know about what the other character was feeling despite not being shown.
Don't worry, you'll figure things out.
There is a better phrase for this. Something in the line of "yelled in his head" or something.
By the way, I think Manny should get advice from BOTH Sid and Diego. Crash and Eddie are hopeless, and I don't know your OC Alli.
-Been Here Before-
Xion the Author
| Lil Miss Swaggar321 chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
I love this story. One of the few good Mellie stories I've read so far.
Why didn't you put Diego down as an option? I think he would give much more decent advice than Sid and Crash and Eddie. Even if he did just gotten a girlfriend.
So, even if you didn't put him down as an option, I say he should go to Diego for advice.
| KaylaDestroyer chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
Ooh ooh! I vote Alli! Poor Manny, he gets so close to telling Ellie how he feels, but her beauty stuns him every time! Update soon!
| Funkywatermelon chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
This was REALLY cute. and there certainly is not enough Mellie stuff up here so it's nice to see some! Thanks! I'm a HUGE Mellie fan so I really love this, although I doubt Manny would have had trouble telling her up to THIS point (I can see maybe till a few months after they met...) and I don't see Ethan and Peaches as a couple... I still enjoyed this fully and wish Manny luck in telling his mate how much he loves her. I hope he has a nice speech prepared! Lols. Maybe if Ellie told him she loved him, then he'd feel required to respond. AND she don't know about his past. I kind of think he woulda told her but... I dunno.
I don't see Crash and Eddie helping Manny out... I do see them being like "DUDE! You're making our sister upset, just tell her!", Sid would definitelly want to help, even though he'd make bad suggestions.
Oddly, I see Diego being the biggest help to Manny, he's the closest friend (other than Ellie) that Manny has. and with a girlfriend of his own now, Diego COULD be able to give some good advice.
SO, my vote goes to the kitty-cat boy. but it's up to you.
Keep up the great work! OH, and this story hsa been put into the Manny/Ellie community!