|Reviews for A Second Chance|
| NightlyHawx chapter 4 . 9/14/2017
Im only on chapter 4 and I love this story. It's expertly built. it's one of my favorites on here. I can't wait to continue reading later. You earned yourself a follower.
| mountedcombat chapter 19 . 11/17/2015
I would have enjoyed at least a few details about what happened during the two time skips in chapter 19.
That's really the only complaint I have. I don't have the time to sing your praises for 42 hours, so I'll just tell you that it would take 42 hours for me to finish singing your praises.
| Jary murillo chapter 3 . 1/21/2015
- I like the 2 first charapters but when you put kirito in the friend zone you destroyed this beautiful history you need read again the LN because kirito really love sachi
| raketsou chapter 15 . 11/7/2014
I can't help myself but be uncomfortable the way the sachi kirito ship has been dissolved cause of some misunderstanding ... It is describe in the Q&A and also in the LN that they're relationship is more intimate than the kirito asuna pair... and that sachi is also kirito's first love...
But oh well.. that's how the story goes.. Like it though.. well aside from the sachi and keshiragi thing
| Jardex22 chapter 25 . 10/12/2014
Overall, the story was really well written. Most plot points made sense and didn't feel unexpected.
There are a few points of criticism though. First off, there were a few dangling threads that never really felt explained. Sachi's nightmares are an example of this. It seems like since she died in the game, she can somehow hear other dead people. It's only briefly mentioned, but I think it was part of the game program, not a supernatural ability.
Each of your characters was written pretty well, and didn't feel overpowered.
Irina had an interesting arc. It would've been nice to see a conversation between her and Sachi about death, since they experienced the same thing.
I especially liked Sachi's character progression. I never felt like she was acting out of character, even though she changed over the course of the story, which means the pacing was good. Her unique skill didn't feel out of place either.
Norie was well written, but she must have been slacking off if Sachi could get so close to her in level while also maintaining a shop.
Ellen's presence was enjoyable. The only thing I would consider changing is making her a unique skill rather then an uncommon one. I know it isn't much of a difference though. Hopefully Norie remembered to save that rock to her nerve gear's internal memory. It might be useful later.
As I've mentioned before, the dating and event order don't feel right in a few places. If the anime got it right, Elizabeth and Silica's encounters with Kirito in your story took place later.
While I do love how you focused on Sachi instead of Kirito, I would've liked to see how her presence would've changed his actions, and her response to his actions. For instance, it felt a bit unusual for Sachi to not invite Kirito to join the New Black Cats. If he had, it might've changed the stakes with his dual with Heathcliff later. Sachi joining the KotBO after her loss could've also been an interesting plot, but that's another story entirely.
Anyways, the story was good overall. I torn on reading the sequel because it's incomplete, and hasn't been updated in awhile.
| Jardex22 chapter 7 . 10/1/2014
This feels like the end of the first arc for Sachi, and overall, it's been good. She has a house to stay in, assuming she doesn't mind the empty rooms. After getting stronger, I could imagine her rebuilding the guild. When Kirito hears about a guild bearing the same name as his dead friends, he angrily storms off to find them. That's when he meets Sachi again.
The one thing that's bugging me is the dating. The last chapter ended on the 22nd, but this one started on the 15th. I'm just going to assume this will be the case for the rest of the story, so I'll try to ignore it.
| Jardex22 chapter 6 . 10/1/2014
Still pretty good. I have a feeling that gem will be important later on. My guess is that it'll lead to a unique skill like Kirito's Dual Blades.
I'm not quite sure, but I think the dating is wrong. If the Wiki is correct, Sachi died on June 22nd.
| Jardex22 chapter 4 . 9/30/2014
Ok, still going strong. I was suspicious of Keshiga at first. After seeing a meek player with a rare item, I figured he just joined her party so he could track her to where she was staying. I also thought Norie might be killed while the others were out.
Anyways, aside from a few weak points and minor errors, this story seems pretty good. I'll pick up and keep reading tomorrow. G'night.
| Jardex22 chapter 3 . 9/30/2014
First of all, good job on answering the Guild question. The explanation makes sense, so I can see Kirito still thinking she's dead. He'll probably leave the Guild and remove her from his friend list before he sees her Away status.
Like the last chapter, cutting to Kirito's POV didn't feel right. More so this time then the last chapter. The MBC slaughter took place on June 22, 2023, but the Nicolas the Renegade event didn't take place until Christmas Eve of the same year, while it seemed like only a day or so passed between the two in this story.
I should mention that I've only read the first novel, and I'm basing canon off of the anime.
Anyways, one more chapter for tonight.
| Jardex22 chapter 2 . 9/30/2014
Still going pretty strong. Cutting to Kirito at the end of the flashback didn't really meld with the rest, but it's only a minor thing.
It's kind of weird that Sachi knows about Keita's suicide in her dream. The only explanation I can come up with is that Sachi knew him in real life and knew he would do something like that if he thought all his friends were dead. If I was her, I would've teleported straight back to town. I'll just blame it on the trauma making her forget.
One question I have is Sachi still a member of the Moonlight Black Cats, or did her revival remove her from it. I'm pretty sure in the anime, Kirito disbands the guild instead of remaining as the lone surviving member. Wouldn't he see Sachi's name on the Guild menu if she was revived? I'm probably just reading into it too much.
| Jardex22 chapter 1 . 9/29/2014
It's looking good so far. I'm kind of surprised Sachi didn't question where Kirito was. Considering it was less then 10 seconds after she was killed, he couldn't have gotten far unless he used a teleport crystal, which I doubt. He probably slaughtered every monster in that room then broke down crying.
Aside from that, her revival seemed plausible, and your OC doesn't seem too out of place. Let's see where this goes.
| Kennysghost15 chapter 15 . 7/6/2014
Hey I love this fan fiction but by chance have you drawn sachi in her aqua set?
| jordan.pointer.18 chapter 25 . 6/16/2014
i love this story its one of the only one that i kept reading the most and hope to read more sachi stories
| duane.viray chapter 14 . 6/9/2014
Chapter 14 ... IT WAS AN ADVANCED CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR ME ! ARIGATO SO MUCH author!
| Enilk chapter 25 . 6/3/2014
Phenomenal work my friend. Continue writing and let your soul guide you. I will now be reading the sequel.