|Reviews for The Wayward Children|
| Vector 426 chapter 123 . 4/17
AWESOME ! 20 to 1 ... and the Army still got creamed ! The "Carry The Mail" bit was a riot. Did you come up with that ? If not, where'd it come from? The General seems to be a sore loser, that could come back to bite him in the rear. Excellent work. Glad to see this fics still going strong. Looking foward to the next installments. Til then, Take care, lock and load, and keep it between the ditches.
| crankshaft7 chapter 123 . 4/17
Pretty awesome chapter. 20 to one odds and the army still didn't have a snowball's chance in hell . But with Bill's training of the white robe equipped fighter jets and the fact that Lucy is now queen and her powers very well known not to mention the fame of the "Terror Twins", isn't it a bit to naive of the general and his officers not to know about the two girls? And if they didn't know about them being sect then why did they fire at them when they saw them standing in top of their M1 porcupine. I and not stop the match then and there fearing the girls would have been blown up since even the practice rounds are explosive.
I don't mean to pick since I have really really enjoyed these stories so far. A few minor discrepancies are to be expected and are unavoidable in such a long and complex story
Also thanks for the quick update since I'm starting to feel like a crack addict in rehab. I guess I have two addictions now. Chinese food and Elfen Lied fan fics! L. O friggin L.
By the way. I have decided to write my own E L fanfic and could use some pointers if you are willing to provide them. Your stories have so many original ideas and characters and although my story is about an escaped diclonious the story will be very different than the usual.
| crankshaft7 chapter 122 . 4/12
Another excellent chapter. Hey once I get my internet setup I'd be happy to edit for you as I'm reading. There were a few minor mistakes.
On another note I was wondering if you'd ever considered a Elfen Lied / Stargate Sg1 X over. I think it would fit in nicely with this story. Something like sg1 finds an artifact that malfunctions and transports a white robe to their lab as they are researching it. And as they attempt to get her back to her own parrallel dimension one of their off world bases comes under attack and the whiterobe offers her assistance which becomes vital to saving the lives of the people on that base. Maybe the disgraced one who was stripped of her robe when she let Suzanne get hurt by that failing transport. Unless you have other planns for her. I'm sure you get folks throwing ideas at you all the time and it's ok if you disreguard mine. I really really enjoy your E L stories and am eagerly anticipating the next chapter. Thanks again.
| Guest chapter 121 . 4/10
Well I just finished this story to the point it is now. I have read the other stories by keithallen involving the Elfen Lied characters and am very impressed by his talent and knowledge that he carries into his stories and characters. I have enjoyed all of the twists and turns and like ththe fact that its not all excitement but includes some more day to day stuff as well in order to build the characters up as people with their own personalities ,likes , dislikes , emotions, grief, pain, hopes and so on. I have never read a story that ties into several other stories like the Girls Und Panzer and Battlestar Galactica, and so seamlessly as if those storylines were meant to end of with horned girls with wild colored hair and amazing mental powers end up in their plots from the very beginning. I love how Lucy went from being hated and hunted by basically everyone to finding forgivnes and ultimately be revered respected and loved the world (and galaxy) over.
In fact it would be much easier for me to list the things I didn't like about the series. Well I was a bit uncomfortable with how readily Lucy accepted her title as queen of the world and thought there should have been more of a struggle on the world's part to get her to accept the role. I also was a bit uncomfortable with the whole Jesus being the son of Yukita and God being portrayed as a woman since God doesn't have a need for a label of gender but is revered to in the masculine sence by default because of His role as omnipresent and omnipotent creator. But being a work of fiction the writer can create whatever universe they deem fitting so I can live with that. Then there was the thing about all religions being basically the same even though they are definitely not and most are at best a way for people to validate their selfish and perverse desires. I'm a firm bible believing Christian and I am the first to admit that many Christian denomination and beliefs fall into that category as well. I am also a big fan of self governance and yet if someone I knew was beyond reproach and had the world's best interests in heart I would cooperate. I would totally vote for a Lucy and enjoy seeing a few heads roll (pun intended) as she makes the unruly in the world to behave themselves or else. That's it... Those are the only thing I didn't lie about the story and they can mostly be dismissed simply by claiming writers prerogative. Everything else I loved and was glued to my phone (I was reading it on my phones internet) and sometimes to my detriment as on several occasions I stayed up way way way to ate reading. I just couldn't put it down.
I am so incredibly looking forward to the next update. Thanks so much for your love for , and dedication to the Elfen Lied characters.
| Vector 426 chapter 121 . 3/13
Just finished reading this, and the stories leading up to this one. This is one very impressive story you've got going, and I thought your RV Capu/COWH fics were excellent. Your writing has reached a level that keeps getting better and better. I'm throughly enjoyed your stories (all that are on your profile page)and look foward to reading more of this one, and the other outstanding fics you're currently working on. Just don't burn yourself out, there's nothing worse than a fic that just peters out and is left unfinished. Thank you for your frequent updates. Keep up the AWESOME work, myself, and your many, many admirers will keep coming back. "BRAVO-ZULU !" Til the next updates, Take care, watch your neck, and keep it between the ditches.
| Word Addict 620 chapter 120 . 1/11
Nice chapter. I noticed the tank battle scenes are getting into the sweet spot. Just detailed enough to be interesting, while not being so long as to be dragging the rest of the story.
| Wandering boy chapter 119 . 11/11/2014
Wonder where the story can go from here since war has been avoided.
| Liam G chapter 111 . 8/17/2014
Okay, I'm hooked by new plot. Always loved BSG, now this should be interesting to see.
| Dreachon chapter 107 . 6/8/2014
Good story but what is really starting to ruin it for me is the absolute lack of any reseach done into the tanks your using. You are pulling way too much material from WoT that never existed.
Porcupine is a main offender and such changes would have never been possible on a panzer II chassis, let alone being able to mount a 50mm automatic weapon, those couldn't be fitted in a tank turret.
The ToG 2 in this chapter, that never existed. Do not rely only on Wiki as they have the armor values all messed up, it is 75mm max on the front, 50mm on the sides and 25mm on the rear. For a tank of it's size and weight it is rather poorly armored.
A ToG 2 would have no chance at all against a Maus.
| GeminiZKnight chapter 103 . 5/22/2014
Is it just me, or is Diane getting a lot more violent lately? I'm pretty sure she's eventually going to get in trouble for breaking the 'no touching with mind hands' rule, but she doesn't really seem to care. I'm curious to see how this will progress.
| CrypticNiteMare chapter 95 . 4/27/2014
Great chapter, I loved the Mizore reference in this story. I mean, Lady Shirayuki? Purple blue hair? Great seeing you mix it in and I can't wait until she is introduced with whatever twist you think of!
| GeminiZKnight chapter 92 . 4/5/2014
I now have the image of Lady Sayuri in a bar, drowning her sorrows stuck in my head. Haha, anyways, nice work. I like where the stories going.
| Liam G chapter 92 . 4/5/2014
Great. Nice seeing old faces again. Thanks for the quick updates as well.
| OO chapter 91 . 4/4/2014
| Liam G chapter 89 . 3/31/2014
Glad to see this still going. I admit I wasn't to sure how you were going to pull it off, but you have done a great job so far. The use of another manga was imaginative to help carry this story for as long as you have done so. However my only real gripe is I do miss the other children. Kanae is especially, she was great in her arguments with her husband back then, Brother Junso. I hope that when this series does end, you tie everyone back into the ending storyline. Other than that, I await each update.