|Reviews for Touhou Doujin: Yutaka's Big Fat Youkai Wedding|
| Nefer chapter 14 . 8/18
I know that this is rather late, but a mate in four moves is actually a 'scholar's mate', not a 'fool's mate'.
| Guest chapter 20 . 9/22/2014
Now I've got this mental image of Chen shivering, so thoroughly traumatised that she's lost all colour.
| Nexus Infinity chapter 21 . 11/15/2013
... Very nice. VERY very nice work good sir. Please, continue gracing the Fanfiction website with your stories. I enjoy the humor mixed with seriousness and all around plot hysteria. You have a supporter in me now. Now... time to read the previous books! X)
| Dr. Magnus Feirenbacher chapter 21 . 9/27/2012
-sheds tear- goodbye.
| Timeskipper1 chapter 21 . 9/22/2012
Well, so it's the end, it seems. All's well that ends well. I must say that I'm happy of having discovered your series, it's been insightful, funny and heartwarming. And there's been an added bonus; I've met (virtually) a wonderful person: you. You told me that you were worried that you had turned Gensokyo into a soap opera. And I can't actually deny it. But you've done it well, and that's what counts. And knowing that I absolutely hate soap operas, it's a great compliment coming from me.
Ran was scary, though!
Haha, anyway... could you PM me what Jean wanted to write in this chapter? I... I'm at a loss at what you wanted him to say. Then, I'll provide corrections.
Oh, and good luck for your original story.
It's always a little sad to see the end of a story, as it feels like a little part of the universe that I hold dear withering and dieing. But the only neverending story that we know, and maybe not even that one, is the story of humanity. And it's a story that everyone of us writes. So we'd better get our asses off the chair and go write it! Ok, that was lame AND hypocritical of me, but I couldn't resist.
Good luck for everything. It has been an honor for me.
Timeskipper, from an insignificant corner of an insignificant country in an insignificant continent of a wonderful blue ball floating across the universe, that's evolving and revolving at nine hundred miles an hour, also known by the natives as: Earth.
I don't regret anything I wrote, up to and ESPECIALLY the unnecessary stealth reference at the end.
| MUS3 chapter 21 . 9/21/2012
Oh my god I just wanna cry right now... Seriously. I'm gonna miss reading these chapters a lot. :(
Great way to end this. Can't wait for the epilogue... Actually I can... because until that's posted, this series still hasn't officially ended.
| Metroid Life chapter 21 . 9/21/2012
Ah, The end... can't believe I'm saying that... hmm. I'll miss reading these chapters, that's for certain. And... what is there to say? Gah, I'm just wasting space, but I have to say this was a great ending, funny and binding, tying everything to it's conclusion. Thanks for writing this, and... if there is one, I will see you next review...
| MUS3 chapter 20 . 9/20/2012
YOLT for Yuyuko!
Was Chen's fainting recollection a reference to the end of the Holiday fic? I really liked how Chen's matured through this series. It's almost as if she's becoming the main shikigami of the two. What a playlist she had to go through eh?
And I could've sworn Ran would have made Dawitsu call her master at least once during their "sequence."
| Nicolas Crossworth chapter 20 . 9/20/2012
I...FINALLY CAUGHT UP!
Firsties is that as I travelled all the way up to this chapter, I have encountered many exotic typos and grammar slips, but other than them I found nothing. Heh, they didn't really bother me or the story much.
Alright! This fic as a whole was a big 'wut' for me. At first I was like '...' then I was like '!' Now I'm all, 'The mixed emotions I feel, is too damn high!'
Like 'Jean's Magical Education' this one was a roller coaster ride. I intentionally waited for this fic to reach a tidy number of chapters before I tackled it from behind like buffalo.
There were parts that annoyed me, mainly Remilia's bratty nature. Dawitsu's pathetic self and his insecurities. The guy can't just let Yutaka go, huh? I'd understand, but seriously I need to knock some sense into him.
Alas, that was for the first few chapters. Oh and good thing Dawi supported Yutaka-chan back in the first chapter, that was very mature of him.
Some parts freaking tugged at my heartstring. The one that hit me most was Medicine and that chibi clone, I almost shed tears in that part but it felt like it was rushed. The emotions displayed didn't really hit me at the first few seconds until I went back and re-read the entire chapter did I... *starts bawling at a corner*
Some parts, well... Gave me a new view of how love is seen. I've got Jean to thank for that. His relationship was... funny?disturbing?sad?tragic?hilarious?cheerful? Heh, one of those mixed emotion factors again. I say he's too much of a gentleman, though he does have a point whenever he rejects Reimu.
Clingy Reimu, heh...
Some parts were happy...an tugged at my heartstrings since they were so-so-soooo happy! I almost feel like something bad's going to happen like an unexpected death. We have a wedding, then how about funeral? Seeing the crew in their prime, just...wow.
The wedding was well done, and Ran looked good in her dress. Same goes for the two people that are the center of this fic's plot. With many internal debates, Dawitsu watches Yutaka go off with Patchouli. I loved how they went on minor adventures just for the sake of the wedding.
Now would'nt it be a big 'wut?' if Momiji bursted out of the blew and said 'OBJECTION' in the middle of the ceremony and deliver her undying love to the Mimicker's shikigami? Talk about surprise plot twist.
Digressing, that won't just fit, eh?
The pairings... Oh crap, Ran and Dawitsu? I was cheering on for Hebiko! I managed to swallow the fact about Rinnosuke and Sakuya but...but...Dawitsu and Ran?!
err, never mind the outburts just now.
Now wasn't Yuyuko...a bit mysterious? Since Yukari has degraded into an immature 17-year old side character (please don't hit me) *gapped*
Then I see Yuyu-chan as the most wisest character of this fic. Don't ask why it's just one of my mind's...whims. In her own way, the Princess of the Nether is epic in her own way without even needing to fight.
I'm glad how many rivalries and hostilities were resolved. Mainly the two Lizards. I think up to the chapter now, the crew has achieved the win-win situation. I wonder how it will last long.
Oh and about THIS chapter, the only thing that I can say about it is the last part with Chen, the one above this review box. You have no idea how it made me laugh when I was reading this on mobile...while in class...at school
It was somehow strang having everyone glance at you while your teacher is in the middle of telling everyone off. The poor soul that I am interrupting her lecture. Heh, it was very funny!
One more thing that I find uncomfortable is the canon-characters' well...out of characterness. Though I tolerate it because I find it interesting, I might suggest toning it down a notch if it doesn't harm the story in any other way. Also the references and game mentions, it doesn't really look nice if they're mentioned too often. It takes the 'touhou' feel from the fic.
I loved how you interpreted Flan and Medicine. They are by far my favorite characters in this fic. But the question remains, what will happen next? Now the wedding's over, what conflict will arise to keep the fic interesting? Or will you move to the next book?
Hehehe, I'll be keeping tabs every now and then but for now this review ends this very moment!
| Timeskipper1 chapter 20 . 9/19/2012
I think I felt like that too... I can't stop laughing! It's seven o' clock in the morning and I'm laughing like an idiot!
No, really, this was... hilarious!
Ok, leaving out the last part, this chapter was... nice, if a little lacking in the Reimu department. I hoped to see her put Yukari in her place, actually. It's nice to see her acting her age, but sometimes she should act her role. And before you ask, no, owning Rumia back in Jean's Magical Education isn't enough.
Oh, criticism's over. I don't like party scenes, weddings included, but this was very nice.
Last thing, totally unrelated, when Dawitsu gave Chen the music player I couldn't help but think of Shinji with his SDAT. Though, the mansion is quite big. Did they really shout THAT LOUD?
| Anonymous chapter 2 . 9/18/2012
Okay. My opinion of you is improving, I've got to say. The humour is not bad, though it has yet to reach the level that actually gets me to laugh.
About the MS-ness of this fanfiction, I believe you misunderstood me when I said "Writing a Mary Sue fic on Purpose."
For a writer to screw up and make a mary sue out of a character is a sign of weakness, to make a good read full of balanced characters, of skill, and make an intentional Mary Sue fic and end up with something still worth reading, a medal of mastery.
When I read your first fic, the impression I got of Dawitsu was that he was a very big mary sue, and that is what it seems to be. Since you appear to be writing a MS fic on purpose, know that you have taken on a rough challenge.
I may be very opinionated about this, but this I swear. FIRST IMPRESSIONS MAKE OR BREAK, which is why I ranted about the title, summary, and yes, the cover. I am not bashing FF's cover feature, sir.
I suggest you get either a better camera or a better shot of the same pic, or even better, get a scanner. After that, enhance the colours, contrast and whatnot until you get a good picture. I assure that the result might just be a whole lot better than what you have here.
And as I said two paragraphs up, first impressions make everything. Even if the story is good, if the cover (especially important in printed work), summary, title and the first few paragraphs don't hold the audience, then all your work is for naught.
It's still too early for me to decide whether your characters are as alive as a few authors I believe are so.
And no, I'm not flaming you. That language I used in my first review was a sort of "test," so that I can determine your personality. You seem to be a good, mature lad, for you to take such flames and still... "smile."
There's no need for you to stop. Go on and write. I shall see if you have the skills to make a good Mary Sue fic.
And one last thing. I believe you should try writing a fic that deviates from this TH universe. Write something short... like a backstory about the PC98 characters or something. Maybe a lunarian invasion. Or maybe a re-enactment of WWII in gensokyo. Write well and DON'T SCREW UP.
| MUS3 chapter 19 . 9/17/2012
Say no to flamers!
Ran will definitely make Dawistu her precious...
Didn't except to see Medicine go to Byakuren for advice though. Nice touch!
| Timeskipper1 chapter 19 . 9/17/2012
Oh, THAT'S THE DUWEE DAVIS I KNOW! Outstanding job, really!
This chapter was veeery good: Medicine remembering her past DID feel a little bit rushed in the beginning, but you handled it like a master, so it's aaaall ok. And yes, she WAS acting a little bit too childish. But that's ok. Also, Tokage is learning subtlety? That's great! And a half-miracle, too.
Oh, and Ran's great too. I love her assertive attitude, and Dawitsu's reactions were priceless.
Oh, well, enough for today. And don't bash yourself. You ONLY took 8 hours for one chapter. I'm taking months just for the first chapter of the fic I'm writing :(
Anyway, good to see that you're still in business. I can't wait to see how this story will finish, and I hope that Marisa-sama will provide some awesome and funny shenanigans. Buh bye!
| Hideki Hirameshi chapter 18 . 9/15/2012
Looks like the epilogue is next. I had fun, despite how "cheesy" the story went. :P
[...'Pointless filler' by Way Sting Time.]
Where can I get a copy? :P
[Ran had an equally simplistic outfit, but it was made to be a tad more seductive than the likes of her young-looking Shikigami. It was a shoulder-bearing, chest-enhancing sort off dress, tight-fitting, yet long in length, a bizarre hybrid of tasteful and tasteless all combined into one red mass.]
"...shoulder-bearing..." Wasn't it supposed to be "baring"? I'm sorry, I don't think it rolls off the tongue that well, ahaha
speaking of which...
[Dawitsu looked at Ran as per his unwritten contract with Yutaka, and was surprisingly finding himself wanting to look at her for a little longer, something which pleased both Yutaka and Ran quite greatly.]
...you got me at the word "stunner". :)))
[Ran blushed under examination, and said, "...hello, Master. What's wrong? Has Chen caught your tongue?"
Dawitsu quickly looked away, and awkwardly said, "...uh... I'm so sorry, Ran! Moment of weakness there! Sorry for being a pervert!"]
Nice wit there, Ran. :P
[However, somewhat triumphantly, just she was mentioned, Aya smashed through the wall, her hands at her hips, and she said, "Did someone call for me? For I am here, ready to save the wedding, as a good wedding photographer should!"]
Aya just never fails to amuse me :)))
[However, the bouquets had been caught, and fate seemed to have conspired against Dawitsu's plea for privacy, as one of the lucky women was Ran, who excitedly ran up to the mimicker and hugged him strongly, saying, "See? We're next! It's meant to be! Oh ma... Dawitsu, we're going to be married next!"
Jean laughed somewhat caustically, "Ha ha! You were being the hidden lovers outside while we were all inside? You are the sneaky dogs, are you not..."]
[But the Frenchman would soon eat his words, as the exact same fate befell him at the hands of a bouquet-wielding Reimu, "JEAN! We're meant to be! See this? It means we're going to be together!"
Reimu hugged the Frenchman, treating him more like an extremely precious toy than a person, "...I love you, Jean! We're gonna be together!"]
...two... by the way, Jean, nice find...
[Rinnosuke sheepishly looked at the two couples, and twisted his hair, before deciding to try this technique as well, "...ha ha... you two are getting ravished, but I am not... ha ha... no-one will ravish me..."
Rinnosuke waited for Sakuya to come rushing to his side, but it didn't seem to happen, so he shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Well, I guess I tried..."
However, it was just as he gave up that Sakuya came up to Rinnosuke with a flower in her mouth, and took it out so she could say, "...the dance is going to be soon... I expect you to be up there with me, because I'm not going to dance with myself..."
Rinnosuke grinned, "Yes, it worked!"]
...and three. Damn it Kourin. :P
| MUS3 chapter 18 . 9/14/2012
The anon reviewer really did only bring matters of little significance. I mean why point out character names and you're artwork? The titles are a little dull; But honestly, I literally read the title and never give it a second thought.
And Ran and Dawistu getting together? YESHH! Loved this chapter.