Reviews for The Shinobi Test
Rexnos chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Pretty grim dark for a Naruto fic. It felt rather realistic though. Death should naturally be a constant in a world which consists so heavily of espionage, trickery and violence. I think it would have been interesting to see Hinata's scene though. Sakura made the mistake of actually getting close to the target, so it was understandable that she failed. It seems likely that Hinata did something similar, but she's also got a softer heart. I doubt she refused outright, but who knows?

PakiNoor chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
I was sincerely hoping you wouldn't do that.
None the less...
Yeah, I..'m gonna go. Now.
The Jade Knight chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
holy crap man...

i've been following you for a long time, a good two years i think, but this... is simple, and so intense!

i also believe that the world of naruto, following it's own rules can be pretty dark. I never got around to writing it down of course, but I do have to say that you did it beautifully. I especially liked the dark ending... life is hard at times... and not all endings are happy.

I also have to give a nod at the little glimmer of hope that you left with naruto and hinata.

10 out of 10 from me ... if there was a voting system.
The Blazing Fire chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Nicely written, abrupt, unhappy ending... but I get it is a realistic view.

I think this is your second fic in which Hinata commits suicide. The first being "A Better Time", probably one of my favorite fan-fics to date. Both show a high contrast as to the reason of Hinata's suicide.

Anyways, nice work.
XandricTheBeater chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
... Damn...
RykOakwine chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Great story, thanks for sharing it with us.

At the end felt like it was missing something or I was missing something, hoping there was a bit more to it, but all in all a great read.

Glad someone with some credibility is willing to point out the craziness of making children ninjas/mercenary killers. Of course they'd lose every Hinata and Sakura, and get all of the Sasuke's.
Adeladaine chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Well... That was cheery. I laughed at the ending. I'm a bad person. But... poor Hinata. *snicker*. Nice ficlet!
morbid333 chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
That was... unexpected, but more merciful than what life would have presented, I suppose. Actually, I'd assumed Hinata might be transferred to their team, as illogical as that sounds, but it makes more sense that she'd have failed.

I expected Sakura to fail from the beginning, and becoming too familiar with her target was an obvious mistake. Her hesitation was believable, although you probably could have got away with her (at least temporarily) believing her half-baked justification if you'd wanted. Anyway, I found her insistence that Naruto was 'doing it wrong' somewhat humorous.

I can't help but wonder what might have happened if this turned out to be longer. Naruto with a more realistic mind-state could be interesting. What if Hinata were actually made part of the branch family? Would anything change, or would it all be the same? I'm thinking specifically of Neji and the Chunin exam. Would it affect his attitude at all?
Tachman chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
First, this is an amazing concept for a story and would love to see it turned into a longer story, cheers for you sir!

Second, I guess this is one of your most objective points of view since you had Sakura and Hinata fail the test given their character at the beginning of the series and before their maturing due to the circumstances of their future challenges.

Third, If you don't have any intentions of seeing this story continued, would you mind letting me have a shot at it?, I am about to finish a project of mine and I am currently looking for ideas.
Guest chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Well that was an abrupt ending.

Would have liked to see where this could have gone.
Nuramon chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Very good story, I thank you for the great read. Hinata not passing her exam is very... in character for her. Great job as always, I'd like to see how this progresses further, but I guess you've got plenty on your plate already.

Naruto and Sakura developing a friendship in the future seems quite ironic considering how it never really happened in the original (or at least not until Naruto left for three years...). The Test seems like it would force Naruto to think, considering that his actions have definite consequences and it would show in the way you had him choose his victim. It sets the tone for Naruto gaining definite prowess in the future.
Sasuke on the other hand... yea. Dark and dreary. Not thinking of possible consequences, only caring about results definitely seems like a character flaw many people possess nowadays.

Thank you once again, I very much enjoy your thought provoking updates.
AngelForm chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Final review: decent concept, decent execution, however it is very limited by being in the utterly retarded canon ‘verse.

Also: Why in the names of all gods would Hiashi have his daughter marry outside the family?
She has the byakugan. Her children will have the byakugan!
Francisco Devilman Warrior chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Damn poor sakura not a ninja anymore and DAMN poor hinata would have been better to run away with someone who did care for her. damn that father of her hope he dies good job and yes i read the whole thing
bakapervert chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Thanks for the update.
Traveller chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Ouch. Harsh, but very realistic.
Well done.
358 | « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 21 .. Last Next »