Reviews for Hookup of Epic Proportions
Mary chapter 26 . 6/26
Updaaaaateeee!)))) love your story)) it is one of the most interesting stories written in this fandom ever (in my opinion )))) u cannot end in such a tragic note and not update...((( please update !)) we have been waiting for almost half a year!((
Mary chapter 26 . 6/1
Hi there;)) love your story)) and actually want to remind u that there are still those who are looking forward to the next chapter;) like me)))) and who have been waiting for quite awhile ;)) please update or we are gonna die out of curiosity)))
Nandadevi chapter 26 . 4/13
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

First of all, apologies for not reviewing as you've been posting. I'll be honest and I was really dreading seeing Fru die again (AGAIN ZOOP!? SO CRUEL ;_; ) and when I was trying to read the chapters one at a time I was getting frustrated. Frustrated only because you write so well and it was incredibly hard to read the story unfold (especially dreading the ending) one chapter at a time. So, sorry, I was not a great fan. (Plus I usually read your stuff on my phone and typing out reviews on mobile is a pain in the ass. Plz forgive my laziness. :( )

Anyway, holy shit, you've really outdone yourself. I had to log on to my computer for this review because of all the feels. I was scrolling through your bio again as I was looking for this story and by god you've written a ton. I am so very grateful, by the way, that you do write so much, so well, and about my favorite subject, orcs! :D I always felt like a bit of a weirdo as a kid for being so obsessed with them and you were the first person I've ever found online (besides TheLauderdale) that seemed to *understand*.

Ok. I read a bit of "Misfile" before I started just to refresh everything that went down. I remembered liking that one more than this one, but after finishing this one (in like, 4 hours hahah) I gotta say this is definitely become my favorite of the two. I really like your Orcs, and their ladies, and in the old version I really missed seeing what was going on back at the camp. I'm really glad you went back to the camp and kept showing us their interactions. The friendship between Thakuf and Gwen felt a little more fleshed out this time around and I really enjoyed seeing them interact together, especially with the other kids. And we get the keep up with Sandy, Brie and the boys! I really missed them and was excited in the third fic when they made their reappearance. I'm so glad they got more screentime this time around. I mean, everyone really, I couldn't wait to get back to the settlement scenes, even during the tense scenes with Brytta/Nurz, because damn, I just really love Ghrulagurz ok? Haha and Thakuf, Raz, Ilsa, Morkoth, etc. And the ladies of course, Brie/Sandy. I liked every scene they were in and you had me laughing at a few conversations. Just, yeah, the ones that stuck out to me were Ghru straight up telling Brie "no" when asked to leave (love to see his surly characteristics), his conversations with Thakuf and protecting Mae, Morkoth being unsettled by Ghru after their conversation, Raz giving shit to Gwen, Sandy crying because she misses her dad (poor thing), the image of everyone having fun in the meadow, any scene Nurz is playing with a baby, Ilsa comforting Gwen, etc. I guess I mean all of it lol, but idk. It all makes me smile. I really appreciate how you write them, your characters always feel so real and I love reading about them. \

I also really love how you fleshed out Faelur, Mae, and Gwen in this fic! I gotta say, despite Faelur hitting Mae and Gwen, I really did feel bad for him this time around. I kind of pitied him in the third fic (those rape scenes *shudder*), but I think you did a good job portraying him as a real person. I thought the misogyny was a little heavy handed in the delivery, but to be fair it's not an inaccurate portrayal of actual misogynists. I still want him to...survive? Idk, not sure if anything is changing in his future, but I guess I'm a sucker for redemption stories and I'd like to see Faelur maybe make a return. I mean, he knows how to raise goats/sheep right? That's gotta be a useful skill. I mean, I guess he sucked at running a business but maybe he could hang out and raise goats for the settlement? :P Haha, here I am making a plea deal for this dweeb. Only because I know his (ex) ladies are going to be well taken care of haha. What I'm trying to say is your humans felt more *human* in this fic than they did in the last. At least to me.

I can't say I remember too many differences in the story between Brytta/Nurz. I reread the first fic more, so my memory isn't as sharp. I do remember the scene in the pit differently, and I liked what you did this time around. That scene when the dead badger was skewered and hauled up had me laughing. Right after they just discussed how to eat it! Oh man your goblins really are the cruelest ;)
Overall I really liked their story, especially the new stuff! I still think I would like to hear more about her (she has a twin brother? Ooooh...can't wait for that meetup (; ) and the like. I think you were able to show a bit more of her personality this time around, I'm still not sure what her age is, or her looks? I'm guessing late twenties/early thirties, built like a body builder, and brown curly hair? Maybe I'll catch a better description on the reread. Her name makes me think of the character from community lol, so maybe my lack of focus isn't your fault.

Damn though, I got to admit I was hoping in this version Nurz just ties up Fru and takes him home. You got me again! AND IT WAS JUST AS AWFUL. I don't remember Fru begging Nurz to stop with the killing last time, maybe I blocked it haha. His reaction feels different, and damn it's even sadder. Out of all of them, he was never my favorite, maybe because we never really spent too much time getting to know him and he was pretty obnoxious to everyone. I just feel so bad for him here, he's so young! Like 17-18 right? Everything he kept saying just made me feel so bad, he sounds just as dumb as every other young man fresh into their twenties sounds (albeit maybe the more socially awkward ones that borders on stalkery). Even him asking for death was just SO DRAMATIC. I kind of get it though. He doesn't know about bonding, all he knows is that he can't stop thinking about Hengolwen and people were tying him to his bed (jeez) for trying to talk about what he was going through. Maybe if he were in a modern society he could have gotten some help, but it's so sad. What a waste, as Nurzgrat said.

I'm really not a fan of the bonding for life stuff in fantasy stories, but I thought about it for a bit and I guess it makes sense because technically orcs came from elves, right? And elves do bond for life apparently. Still, it just sucks that it's permanent and apparently hits you like lightning! I got to admit I've been hoping for a retcon that the Uruk-hai are able to let it fade or control it a little. Because, if they are going to live for a few hundred years...well that just sucks. That sounds like the shittiest life to outlive your human spouse and never be able to grieve/move on. Maybe the elves will let them catch a ride West with them. Or they can hang out with Arwen after Aragorn dies. Hahah I can just imagine Tolkien's face at the thought of that!

Poor Nurzgrat. I'm digging the new chapters. I like that he dug the grave himself (poor Hengolwen lol. I thought it was appropriate that you had Gurvalthen exclaim at Nurz burying her family's killer/rapist in her own backyard.) Oh well, I guess she can spit on it as she passes by lmao. In all seriousness I'm glad to see she's apparently moving on and has a suitor coming her way. Not an orc, but I guess he'll do. Since these guys have a good relationship with the Misfile clan, maybe that means there's hope for them becoming a real refuge for orcs, half-orcs, and humans of Middle-Earth. I mean, they are going to have to trade eventually right? I worry about your little clan surviving the winters. That or the newborns catching some sickness. Although I guess you've got Aandar and Eoforhilde heading their way, and helenamarkos implied that your other characters from the "The Healer's Oath" might be coming that way as well, so I guess they'll have more than enough healers between her and Mae.

OMG I am excited for Nurzgrat's revelation about Ghru's original name. How fitting, "Undefeated" I think I teared up a little. The poor guy! Being assaulted and shamed for decades, yet he was able to survive. Survive and now has a family of his own. I definitely don't think he is over the trauma of, geez, most of his life, but I'm glad we may be seeing the reappearance of Narbuf. Although I am really attached to Ghru as a nickname. Oh! I also can't wait to see how Ghru's going to react to Aandar. (I reread that story as well in preparation for this one). I don't think we've seen two Uruk's in this settlement really go at each other with the intent to kill, not saying that will be the reaction, but that's really the only logical thing I see happening with Ghru. Especially since he never took vengeance against Nulkol.

I'm really excited to see the three boys back together. I like the hints you've shown of Nurzgrat and Ghru's long friendship (not sure if friendship is the right word, maybe just relationship?) I mean, they are two of the oldest Uruk-hai, and that alone makes them pretty interesting. Especially because Nurz musings of Ghru are always kind of sad at what Ghru is now, as apparently Ghru used to be a pretty terrifying creature himself on the raids he did with Nurz. I get the feeling Morkoth doesn't know Ghru half as well and only knows what he's seen since leaving Isengard.

I thought it was sweet that Nurzgrat's first thought when the water started flowing was to grab Ghru and Morkoth. He really is the best reformed orc dad!

Ok, I think I'm done. Sorry this is so long and kind of gushy. Not a lot of constructive criticism but I just wanted to let you know I really enjoyed this one! I think "Dreaming of You" is still my favorite of your Middle-Earth fics but these guys are a close second! They are just so much fun to read and I go back and reread your stuff at least once a year. You are doing god's work!
ThePastaDragon chapter 26 . 3/2
Damn the last few chapters have been a bit of a roller coaster, haven't they? As always though, the quality is excellent and I look forward to seeing what happens next! :)
mary chapter 26 . 1/21
Ohhhh I love your story!)) Cannot wait to see how Britta's and leader's relationship will grow (sorry cannot spell his name;)) especially now when he is slowly giving up and everything depends on her! Update!
TMI Fairy chapter 26 . 1/20
Emo, eh.
Borys
helenamarkos chapter 6 . 1/19
The heart to heart that opens up this chapter is really heartbreaking. I like Thakuf (I didn't do anything! What a battle cry XD). He's a good kid. And I like what Nurz tells him. "She *should* like you." Yea she should. And she will, don't you worry kiddo.

But it's a poignant conversation, because Thak and Raz will always have to contend with what they are, and Thak is just about that age where he realizes what that means for his place in the world. And it's a tough spot he's stuck in (and where Raz will be in the next installment), with no one around his age to play with and being old enough to have all those teenage feelings to deal with. Puberty plus being an Uruk hai. Poor kid.

Okay, I'll admit, I kind of feel for Faelur here. Well, I do! We know the Uruk hai of this settlement, so from an audience perspective, he's being a tool. But think about it from his perspective. Misogynistic "little woman" business aside, he is protecting his family the only way he knows how: with small talk. Yea, his world view is narrow and prejudiced, but it's a dangerous situation his family could be in. He doesn't know!

His real asshattery isn't the fact that he's kind of a dweeb, even though I feel like the text is kind of leading us to think that. Like I said before: not being a warrior doesn't make you less of a man (that's misogynistic thinking too). Hiring people trained in swordsmanship to protect your wife doesn't make you a jerk (it's actually kind of chivalrous). Refusing to challenge you own prejudices and accept people for what they are, does.

When I first read this story, I remember thinking Faelur would realize that everything he thought of Orcs was wrong and WOW, they're actually decent people, if given half the chance. I thought he was going to have some seriously life-changing character arc. Not quite the life changing character arc I thought, but this was the chapter that gave me hope, because he struck up a convo. with Ghru. Ghru is rude, and that's very in-character for him (he's not much of a talker anyhow), but chatting up someone that could tear off your face is actually extremely brave and open minded on Faelur's part (or, open minded for HIM).

Anyway, adorable Hontor. Love how you write babies and kidlets. You're real solid at making them hella cute.
helenamarkos chapter 5 . 1/19
Brytta and Sandy are very similar people in specific ways, but Sandy's right, she has a huge stick up her ass. And a huge orc kink. All Nurz had to do was take his shirt off to catch her eye ;)

"Can you imagine what a full blooded orc went through?"

Your guys get hit harder than mine, but I think we both take the position that Sauron had some bearing on orcish behavior, be it nudging their darker instincts or downright mind control (I personally feel more towards the former, and I think you do to, though I've seen the latter expressed in other authors' stories). At any rate, being a really big fan of non Uruk hai Orcs, I'mma rudely gesture to Brytta now.

You know, Nurz is one of my favorite of your Orcs, and Brytta is one of my least favorite of your ladies (even after they get together). Which doesn't mean she is a bad *character*. I'm just not gonna go out for drinks with her. She can be kinda cunty, to be honest. Anyway, kudos to Sandy for playing on that cuntiness to get her to go along on this little adventure. That girl is better than eHarmony.

Love the opening of this chapter, and throughout, where Brytta is observing Orcs in a more pastoral setting and having her whole worldview turned on end. It's always fun to smash apart a character's prejudices, be they Mannish, Orcish or Elvish (haven't gotten to those dwarves myself, yet).

Also, Fru 8( It makes me sad, how they talk about him, but then, it's not their fault. No one really knows what's happening to him, after all.
helenamarkos chapter 4 . 1/19
This chapter always confused me. It still does. I realize Mae is grateful, so marching off to an unknown Orc camp seems like a good idea in her mind, but why didn't Faelur and Brytta (Bron) argue her. I feel like that was a place an argument should have happened. Than, after some real heartfelt Nurz pleading they gave in and went to help. So, I'unno. It bugs me a little. Also, poor Gwen! What a night she's had.

I like the moment when Nurz is hooked. I like his reaction and his disgust, and the empathetic thought he spares towards Fru. Not such a little shit now, is he Nurz?

Faelur's thoughts that round out this chapter balance nicely for the most part, because on one hand, he has some downright misogynistic shit running through his head, but on the other, I feel really bad for him. Not everyone can be a warrior, not everyone SHOULD be a warrior, and being a warrior does not make you more manly. And it can;t be easy for a father to not be able to protect his daughter. Maybe I am too close to my own dad to look at the Faelur/Gwen relationship outside that prism, but I have a soft spots for dads and their little girls.

Faelur is annoyingly old fashioned in his thinking, and yet, I think that makes him the roundest character so far...
helenamarkos chapter 3 . 1/19
I wonder how many phrases come out of Sandy's mouth where Morkoth is just... "Uh, yeah, whatever." But I love the scene where Ilsa is petting the deer tail. "Secret." OMG cuuuute ;3 I can't bear how cute you write that kid.

Also, I want to meet Brennan one day. Not because he's with an orc... just, out and about. Isn't he right next door in Dunland? Maybe we could visit him and his nice wife and kids.

I like the brief though Fru has to the condition of Brie and her offspring. He may be obsessed with a Woman, but he's still been a part of this group for two years. he's bound to have developed *some* attachment to these people. And I still feel bad for him. Brie comparing him to a stalker is not. completely true after all. I wonder of Fru realized what was happening to him, that it was something beyond his own control. I wonder if he resents the Bond, because he had a fairly nice life with friends and it stripped that away from him. I mean, even a hopeless romantic will agree that you don't NEED a bedpartner to be happy.

Anyway... I read on...
helenamarkos chapter 2 . 1/19
I didn't have much to say on this chapter last time because I never know what to think about birthin' chapters. I don't like showing childbirth, myself. When I've read it, it either reads extremely romanticized (like this) or downright horror show realistic. But, considering what the Misfire series genre-wise and how it reads (with elves befriending Orcs and the friendly, neighborhood forest hermit stopping by to help with midwifery) it makes sense to have a best-case scenario birth scene here. Complete with character developing conversation. Still, I envy Brie. Fifteen hours of back labor and an emergency C-section will make you a little bitter towards gals that have it better.

Babies aside, I love how this chapter opens, with Nurz escorting Brie on a walk and their personal conversation. I actually don't think Nurz wants her the way Ghru has her, despite thinking that he wished he didn't pass her off. I think she is a good friend, and the only reference he has for that (when it comes to women) is these two girls. Somewhere in his head, I think Nurz thinks if you like a gal, then you shag her. Which isn't true, of course. And I'm glad he's had Brie to show him otherwise. I wonder if he'll always be a little closer to her than Brytta, and I'm curious to see how that dynamic develops over time, beyond "Hookup...".

Just the mention of Fru has me all: 8( I always liked Fru. He felt like the youngest of that group (not counting Thak and Raz... I mean the youngest soldier.)

And Hontor is a great name. Always liked it.
helenamarkos chapter 1 . 1/19
It's been a really long time since I read this opening chapter. And it's a good one, setting up a world where Orcs lurk around every bend and evil Men set upon unwary travelers. And I still like Faelur coming into this, even knowing all he will do in the future. It's hard, you know, for me to put away to Helena sensibilities. But I'm ready for his journey this time, as much as anyone's.

You know, I forget which one of these fellows is Brytta! I'm not gonna check ahead and be surprised. I have my suspicions, though.

One nit: that last paragraph seems out of place after a long Faelur POV. I think you could actually pop that after Mae's scolding and it would sit a little better.
Fangs chapter 25 . 12/19/2015
Poor Nurzgrat
Citadela chapter 25 . 12/15/2015
As I said, no less drama. I like the women's new reactions. And the accent on Nurzgrats pain for the loss of Fru. You are doing great, keep it up :)
Woodrow Graham Kenobi-Rimmer chapter 25 . 12/12/2015
I love Nurzgrat! He is my favorite of all your Uruk-hai characters :) I actually feel that I could be attracted to him...his personality is one that appeals to me. Keep up the good work!
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