|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Old Republic|
| Genesisroyal chapter 15 . 9/15
I was going back and rereading old pics when I noticed that this one was updated last year. Do you plan to continue updating it? 'T'would be a shame for it to be abandoned for such a long time again...
| Bronze chapter 10 . 8/21
Seem Riddle doesn't like the lightsaber Harry has. But now that he knows about it he'll be better prepared for it at their next meeting. Harry really need to experiment with his lightsaber to see what else it can do. Now I stand by my request of last chapter. Would somebody please kill that old fool! Had that braindead old moron not brought that damn stone into the supposed school Riddle wouldn't've been there either. That braindead old fraud seems to've confused school with high security vault. He has outlived his usefullness to the magical and is now working to destroy it. I believe he is a Pureblood Bigot just like Riddle's followers. Too damn stupid to put aside tredition and advance. In the last one hundred years, how many new charms, curses, hexes, jinxes and spells have been made? To the Purebloods that would be a crime as it moves them forward out of their static state they prefer to be in.
| Bronze chapter 9 . 8/21
Would someone just kill that old fool?! And then check MoooRon for a frontal lobotomy! Or may see if his skull holds a vacuum! Fumbles is of the opinion that only his way is the right way. So prey tell, what makes him any different from Voldemort ? Both kill to get their own way. Neither has any respect for any but their own personal privacy. Both think they can run the world. So where's the difference?
| Bronze chapter 8 . 8/18
I'm actually shocked at your Dumbledore! He took points from Slytherin, assigned detention for Malfoy with McGonagall, gave detentions to Malfoy's bodyguard with Sprout and took a total of 60 house points from Slytherin. In no other story that I've read has Dumbledore acted like this! Every other one I've read he lets Snape walk all over the other three houses. Dumbledore would allow him to take Malfoy's detention from any other teacher. I'm also totally shocked he didn't get the Dursley's out of prison and back home. Then force Harry back into their care. Or lack thereof. Now I realize that still doesn't make him a good guy regardless of what he thinks of himself.
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/18
That has got to be the mildest incest scene I've ever read! I haven't read many but what I have, this kiss on the lips by Lily to her son is absolutely nothing! Now I'm not surprised that ol' Fumblewhore wants to find the Dursley's and return Harry to their custody. After all, how else is he supposed to keep Harry abused. I know he'd deny knowing they were doing it but frankly, the old man lies like a rug! He's had ten years to check up on Harry's welfare but hasn't bothered since the night he dropped him off. His Deputy Headmistress told him the Dursley's were unsuitable to raise Harry. Fumblewhore didn't listen. Instead insisting they were Harry's only living family. However, that was a lie! Through his grandmother he IS related to Sirius and through him to Andromeda Tonks. But he's so wrapped up in thinking Lily giving up her life somehow protected her son. Thus only Lily's side of the family was worthy of taking in Harry. You can bet that had there been a relative of Lily's outside the country, he would never've even considered them. After all, they might raise Harry with love and teach him about the Potter family as well as about magic. So he has no real concern for Harry's welfare only his personal plans for him.
| Bronze chapter 6 . 8/9
Just WTF is wrong with that old fraud?! What excuse would he have if Voldemort got the damn stone and returned to full power?! The man's a total fool! Have Harry shove a lite lightsaber up the old fools ass and save the magical world from yet another stupid psycho!
| Bronze chapter 5 . 8/9
The twins would give a nut each to be able to do this with Peeves! Especially to get him not to tell what they were up to!
| Bronze chapter 4 . 8/9
None so blind as those who will not see. Fumblewhore expected Harry to be placed in Gryffindor so is satisfied with his placement. He won't question it in anyway. Thus the first line. other house and he stick his big nose in it. Had Harry been sorted into Slytherin, Fumblewhore would do whatever it takes to get him resorted into Gryffindor. Should the Sorting Hat then sort Harry into Ravenclaw, Fumblewhore still wouldn't be happy and demand he be placed in Gryffindor.
| Bronze chapter 3 . 8/9
You can be sure the ol' brainless bearded wonder blunder will not like Harry looking so fit. It just doesn't fit in with his plans for the boy.
| Bronze chapter 2 . 8/9
And if it's one thing Fumblewhore hates above all others is being ignorant of the doings as concerns his weapon. I tried to read another fic but after less then one chapter I just had to stop. I just could stand reading anymore of the shit spewing from Fumblewhore's mouth to the Potters. He was working hard to con them into moving into his little cottage in Godric's Hollow. Frankly I think the Potters should've told him anything and once home, left for parts unknown. Of course warning the Longbottoms and suggesting getting out as well would've been a good idea also. I like this Harry as he has a backbone and is totally willing to ruin any and all plans the old fraud has.
| Bronze chapter 1 . 8/9
I may very well have read this chapter before though I don't remember all of it. Some of the scenes are familiar but most isn't but it still is interesting. The only way Harry could ever possibly have a good childhood would be for A, James and Lily to survive or B, Harry to've been raised by some other family or C, APWBD to've died before he could ever start his plans to destroy a child's life. The old fool no longer has any sense of right and wrong. The old man became or always was a Dark Lord masquerading as a Light wizard.
| ClaireR89 chapter 1 . 7/11
The attack was in October 1981 not July 1980
| Akritedes chapter 2 . 7/6
Too much, changing for too little reason, too fast. You haven't shown anything that supports such a wild deviation from the existing characters for how out of character practically everyone in this chapter is acting. The only one who arguably has any justification for behaving differently is Harry, yet everyone else has undergone extreme shifts.
You use parentheses "()" both far too often and inappropriately, for the most part when you use them it would be far more appropriate to place a comma and continue the sentence normally or remove the parenthetical interjection entirely as it adds nothing to the text. Moreover, parentheses and similar sentence breaks are used to signify an aside or a side comment, something that is related but does not actually address the primary purpose of the sentence. They are meant to be used sparingly, or occasionally to more appropriately convey natural speech patterns and dialogue, which are rarely as clean and concise as good writing should be.
You have further committed one of the more grievous sins of lazy writing, and that is to describe a character by comparing them to another fictional character, rather than describing their appearance and letting the audience fill in the blanks. If, at any time, you feel the need to describe a character as looking just like *insert preferred character/artifact/etc. here*, you should immediately stop and dope-slap yourself.
You need to work on your paragraphs and spacing, several of your paragraphs are far larger than they need to be and this has a negative impact on ease of reading and the clarity of your writing. Oversized paragraphs have a way of bleeding together into a wall of text and the reader ends up glossing over it.
The writing itself is sub-par, there are a number of typographical errors, misused words, and other complications that make it clear that this was not adequately proof-read, and the dialogue is clunky and very clearly bent to force an outcome you "need" to reach rather than flowing naturally from characterization.
You still have a leg-up on some of the truly awful works here, but this is very clearly in need of a great deal of revision and additional work.
| LetsSeeIfICanDoThisToo chapter 11 . 4/18
Read and review huh... well its too canon to really interest me of yet. It started interesting but then it just followed canon with some miner sneaking in order to justify scoring some angel chichi presumably later on in the story.
Sure you set the scene with the 'great' internal scheming of Dumbledore and harry thinking things through as a supposed genius... but all I really see happening is almost exactly canon. Making the scheming sound more like excuses a s to why it stays canon anyway despite some special force like you made a big deal about getting some logistics division some ultimate all er terain vehicle that will revolutionize battlefield logistics and pull of the cloth to see the same trucks they already use.. with perhaps a digi camp pattern instead of the normal desert or woodland one..
It's the same at its core if not it's color.. there's no real trail eating or application of power going on. No ripples turning into like I'm reading the book and all that is altered is some inner mind stuff, a few insignificant relations and ab occasional reaction that replaces most of Harry his spells with force techniques.
| daniel2610994 chapter 15 . 4/16
Well shut now I am curious about what is gonna happen with the stone and with daphne, harry really needs to humilliate yhe malfoys so bad they will lose all their “prestige" and he has a way to do it, after all he could just tip amelia bones about all the illegal slaves he has under his manor and bam, he is done for hehe, or he could even tell the goblins about it and they will raid his manor looking for lord gringotts other son, that would be really interesting hehe, or the most used in fanfic, harry becomes lord black and disowns draco and narcissa from the black family, that would surely be a huge hit for them hehe.
It was oh so good how harry put bith malfoys in their places with just words, its always funny how he can make them look like fools because of their tempers hehe...but damn ron seriosly gets harry in trouble every single time they interact, he needs to disappear hehehe.