|Reviews for Home|
| ASimpleMind94 chapter 9 . 8/1/2014
Seriously in love with this story, I haven't stopped to review as I've gone along solely because I couldn't stop reading ;)
I love how Laura has been included, and I think her character is such a mystery and I love your portrayal although I am going with a different angle in my own story but yours is more realistic methinks.
Jane, plain Jane, but I don't think so. You write her with such an inner beauty that she's impossible to dislike. I love her interactions with Derek and Stiles and can't wait to read many more!
Here's to hoping our Heroine, Jane is gonna kick some Alpha Peter ass :P
| winchesterxgirl chapter 1 . 2/10/2014
So, I didn't know there was a prequel to "Howl". Oops. I'll be reading this tonight. ;)
| Tarafina chapter 28 . 8/7/2013
I was pleasantly surprised by this. As a general rule, I don't usually read anything in first person pov, but you have a way with words. The build up was nice and you kept Derek in-character at all times. Although the M-rating was a little misleading as I kept waiting for smut and it never happened. lol
I would suggest a few things though:
1. You might want to get a beta, there were a few times you missed words or repeated words and it made the sentences confusing. There were also a few times you used a word when I think you meant a different one. Like when you used 'initiate' a chapter or two ago. It wouldn't fit where you used it.
2. Sometimes you get just a little flowery in the way you write Jane's speech so it doesn't sound like a nineteen year old. And yes, she's well read. But she's still just nineteen and sometimes it doesn't fit with the other mode of speech being used by fellow characters.
3. The repetitive use of 'forest green eyes' was distracting. I started to cringe when it was used every time you mentioned his eyes. Once you've indicated what color his eyes are, it doesn't need to be brought up unless they've darkened or lightened due to the moment being intense. Or as a necessary distinguishable trait at times. But using it every time his eyes are mentioned just gets too repetitive and now 'forest green eyes' are no longer attractive so much as annoying.
That said, these are all pretty minor things that don't take away from your story telling skills.
I like how Jane grew as the story went on. She was quiet and kept to herself in the beginning but she started finding her back bone and standing up for herself. I especially like that you gave her a connection to Laura and that she seemed to take a real liking to Jane. I'm curious though, why Laura talked about her to Derek and stayed with her unless she was aware that she was going to be hurt and was leaving a trail for Derek. But if she knew that, she didn't really have to be secretive. I wonder if you'll explore that in the sequel.
I was hoping for some more Alison/Jane bonding as the story went on. The feeling that Alison trusted Jane was nice, but I was hoping for some more bonding moments to solidify it on both sides. I had hoped that when Jane was going through her mourning period after Derek was a total dick to her that she would call Alison and admit that yeah, there was a guy, and he broke her heart. Cue ice cream and movies and girl times. Not only because I think it would've been a nice scene, but because female friendships are so rarely written in romantic based stories. And I think it would've been nice for Jane to have that female solidarity behind her, someone to lean on besides Derek. I hope you won't take this as a criticism, because really it was just your writing that encouraged the idea of Alison playing a larger part. I liked how you wrote her and sadly I've read other stories where she's usually a bitch or completely overlooked. But here she was sweet and friendly and seemed to genuinely like Jane.
I think you did an amazing job of writing Kate. She's a hard character because she's so insane. You captured her cruelty very well. I could hear her voice and see her doing each terrible torture act as it was written.
I adore that you wrote Jane meeting Isaac and I hope that'll play in later because he is just the sweetest thing. One of my favorites on the show, honestly. I'd love for her to grow a friendship with Isaac and to become some kind of stability to him as he starts his new life and tries to get past what his dad did. With her history, her dad working in abuse, I think she'd be able to relate to and help him more. She wouldn't treat him like a victim, but as a person, and she'd help him along.
As I was reading, there were a few times I wondered if you'd weave in her history with the Portland rapist and have him appear and take out his revenge. I even thought it was the FBI Agent for a bit. It would've conflicted with the main plot of season 1, but there was a nice lay out for it. You broached that whole subject very well. Instead of jumping right into it and giving us a prologue with a huge back story for Jane that would've been entirely too much information to process, you managed to flesh her out, giving little clues and cues to why she is the way she is and that something traumatic had really happened over many chapters. Everything to do with her fear of the dark, for instance, was extremely well done. I applaud you on that. Her whole back history was seamlessly written in and it's not often I can say that, especially for an OC. So bravo.
Well, I'm eager to start the sequel, so I hope that's enough gushing.
Thanks for the wonderful read!
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/7/2013
I was really excited to read this, 'cause it's finished and it's got a sequel... But I can't do 1st person pov, it always ruins it. Honestly, I've never seen a good one and most of the people I know that read fanfiction can't stand it, so I'm surprised anything is even written in 1st person pov anymore.
| Genessis Mendez chapter 6 . 6/30/2013
Wow, i love your story. This has got to be the most realistic and well-written I've ever read. Great work!
| The Miller's Daughter chapter 27 . 6/29/2013
This is amazing. Honestly amazing I am completely in love!
| dirtybird88 chapter 28 . 6/10/2013
Completed great story you really do write derek well and jane is a great asset to the storyline we all know so well. Good luck with your future stories i wil check in.
| dirtybird88 chapter 6 . 6/7/2013
Great start to the story you really do write derek well and i like that you include laura hale with your OC. Im looking forwsrd to the rest.
| DoctorGiggelstheMouse chapter 12 . 4/13/2013
It is so very hard to find an OC so beautifully and perfectly placed into an existing plot, and you are doing so well at doing that very thing! Good work.
| DoctorGiggelstheMouse chapter 9 . 4/12/2013
So intense, and good! I am addicted.
| DoctorGiggelstheMouse chapter 6 . 4/12/2013
This is freaking awesome! It is so well written. And, you're not rushing the relationships! I adore this story so far.
| melbelprincess chapter 28 . 4/1/2013
so excited! going to read now!
| Kelly chapter 27 . 3/30/2013
Sequel, sequel, sequel!
| Romancegeek13 chapter 27 . 3/24/2013
This story was amazing! One of my favorites and I can promise that I will be following the sequel to this one! Can't wait to see what happens next!
| PennyLeeRose chapter 26 . 3/19/2013
Oh, my God, I just want to cry right now. You killed me. How could you did this to me? You know I'm just going to stay here and wait for the first chapter of the sequel so that my life can continue.