Reviews for Bittersweet Rivalry
Wyle23 chapter 1 . 4/19
Second sentence of first paragraph reads immensely awkward. The sentence after it is missing a comma.

Second sentence of second paragraph has a comma splice. The sentence following it has errors, too.

And that is where I am going to stop. You've too many errors in your story just within the first two paragraphs. This does not make me want to read your fic. In fact, this makes it increasingly difficult to enjoy. I can only imagine how many more I'd find by continuing to read.
OnceUponAnAubi chapter 5 . 9/18/2013
Ooooh!
Shamangirl1 chapter 5 . 12/11/2012
Awesome chapter! Keep them coming!
Guest chapter 5 . 9/29/2012
nicly written looking foward to your next chapter
Fantasy-Mania31 chapter 3 . 8/21/2012
Dang...this sounds interesting!
xsmokeandmirrorsx chapter 1 . 7/25/2012
Hi, I like the idea of this story. I've often thought about writing one similar so I'm looking forward to seeing how it develops. Also want to see her reaction to the Heylin characters :) Nice descriptive work as well. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Smoke

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