|Reviews for Template of a Hero|
| Parker chapter 41 . 7/22
Hey man, first of all; your writing is amazing. This is honestly one of the best elderscoll stories available. I cannot ask anything of you related to the story, as you are doing an amazing job with it, though I selfishly implore you to add more to the story! I understand that this story may not be the most pressing thing in your life, but to me at least it brings me joy readi them! Good luck in life my friend.
| Guest chapter 41 . 7/3
Hey. I've been reading for a long time, don't give up on this, okay? It's a great story.
| Wynni chapter 1 . 5/23
And how the hey hira have I managed to miss this deliciousness? I'm in your fanfiction, readin' ur worrrds! _ *glompness*
| King Endercreeper chapter 41 . 4/13
Excuse me, sir, but I have seen that you haven't updated this story since January. Now, believe me, I understand that you probably have gotten massive amounts of work, or some other really momentous reason has interfered with your writing. But, please don't refrain from continuing it! It is no joke when I say that this is the best fanfiction I have ever read. I've seen this happen to too many fanfics that could have been great, where the author just stops writing and/or caring. But your story is already great! But it's not as great as it can be. If you could continue it, not only would you make many,many people happy, but you could create something truly remarkable. Please continue it! I feel like tearing my hair out knowing that I might never read the end to this tale. PLEASE KEEP WRITING!
| Parker chapter 41 . 3/6
Firstly, I love this book you're writing, it's of the best I've read off this site. I wouldn't mind if you wrote the chapter 5k words instead of 10k, whatever works for you man. And in regards to an M rating, I'm sure we, your readers, would love to see more, intimate scenes in your literature. Keep up the good work and good luck!
| Xhimera chapter 41 . 3/3
Absolutely love this story so far! The angst, romance, and various point of views make for an extremely epic story. The level of detail is astounding, I'm genuinely envious of your talent!
I can't wait to read more!
| dragonriderforever chapter 30 . 2/23
YOU MADE ME CARE ABOUT A JUSTICAR. YOU ARE AWESOME.
| dragonriderforever chapter 27 . 2/23
I know it's a few years late, but it's my first read-through and THAT DISTRACTION WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE CANON ONE!
Also you are very mean to your characters, bordering in sadism. This is a very good quality for an author to evince. I salute you.
| Warden of Lore chapter 12 . 2/20
I kinda wished he would turn into a were gator. those are Canon you know!
| Warden of Lore chapter 7 . 2/20
I've played a lot of SKYRIM and the amount of argonian bad guys I've encountered are at most 40. the amount of nords however is unimaginable.
| skeever.sensei chapter 41 . 2/1
Loved this chapter! I'm so glad we got to catch up with Varan. And I'm incredibly happy that he was able to escape the brotherhood for now.
| Guest chapter 40 . 1/21
Thanks ! Miss it
| Dragonbornwanderer chapter 41 . 1/19
Superb. About time Varan leaves. Now if he could only make things right with his brother. Same goes for Balamus.
| Mitchell chapter 41 . 1/17
What kind of plans do you have for Varan?
| PenPaper Just call me Pen chapter 41 . 1/14
Guess I'm not the only one that has computer troubles, eh? (Bet no one's said that before)
This chapter was worth waiting for. Varan's side was the highlight for me. Finally seeing him say "enough is enough" and leave behind the Brotherhood for good, despite the Night Mothers resistance, was unbelievably satisfying to witness. However, her ceasing the assault on Varan's mind seems odd to me. Given the fact that the Night Mother was able to call him from Cyrodil and the fact that her voice exists in his head, I find it hard to believe that this is the last we see of the Bride of Sithis. Also, remembering how you specifically point out that Varan quickly picks up on and exploits any weaknesses a contract has (i.e Archers limp). Combine this with how you none-to-subtly pointed out that Han-zo's wound inflicted upon him by Sofia hasn't healed properly, I believe that you've basically confirmed that the two are indeed "fated" to fight.
As for Team Dragonborn, it's nice to see a little ray of sunshine break away some off the doom and gloom. The company needed a good laugh. Though to be honest, Eric finding out about Solona's worship of Meridia felt somewhat forced and awkward, and dropping the said daedra's name into the conversation felt a tad clumsy. To play Devil's Advocate, however, incorporating the word "Daedric" into almost any sentence, regardless of context, always feels stiff and unnatural to me.
Overall though, chapter forty one is fortyfine. Well written and clearly a passion project like ToaH as a whole. Certainly one of my favorites.
Now, addressing the questions you left in the authors notes in depth and in order;
- I've heard horror stories about American College courses. Australia also has it rough, but either way, pursuit of a higher education results in what feels like all of your free time being overshadowed by more important tasks, like that senior project you have due soon, or some last minute study before that really important exam. In other words, if you feel that ToaH would benefit from shorter installments then by all means do what you will.
- Given the subjects that ToaH has featured (i.e. torture, gore, extreme racism, questionable scenes, implied nudity that one time, etc.), I think that you should bump up the rating to M. This epic is certainly not suitable for young readers.
- ToaH already has a good balance of combat brutality. But in terms of going into extreme detail;
During my frequent experiment pieces (that I write to avoid any actual writing), I find that it is best to only go into gory detail during the demise of a one-on-one opponent. I.e. Archer's scuffle with a bandit on Bleakfalls Barrow. Going into detail about the bloody froth of the bandits mouth and throat, the strangled gurgle, the crazed, bloodshot eyes etc. Due to the single opponent you can allow yourself to go into extensive detail with out sacrificing the flow of combat.
Against multiple opponents, like during the seige of Whiterun, flow takes priority over detail. Often, a short sentence at most is spent on one Stormcloak before switching to a new adversary just as the last body falls. This fluidity keeps the fast pace of the siege, the short sentences build suspence.
In essence, you've already struck the ballance of gore and combat flow. All I can really say is this; what do you have against mellons?
- Sexual content is probably going to be a sticking point for some (this IS the internet after all), but I'm perfectly fine if you decide to write explicit scenes. However, try to avoid sex for sex's sake. Using sex just for the hell of it is the mark of a poor story teller, which I know you are not. To clarify, what I mean by sex for sex's sake is a scene of explicit content is just seeming thrown in to a narrative "for sex's sake", a pointless scene that doesn't affect the characters involved longterm. Archer and Lydia already have a fantastic relationship, both of them play off each other, building off their strengths and helping cope with insecurities. They are perfect for romance, and a sex scene can show us the two of them at their most intimate with one another. But these scenes can always be awkward to both read and write. Dialogue can also be a sticking point. For a good example of sexual content used to further the narrative and character development, I recommend the 2016 move Bridget Jones's Baby. (A bloody funny movie, even if you aren't sold on RomCom. I usually don't care for the genre but this movie is surprisinly good.)
Again, ultimately it's up to you what you write. Just know that at least one of your readers is on board with whatever you decide to do.
Not related to ToaH;
I can't remember whether or not I've said this, but your advice is really helping me with my Dark Souls III fanfic. It's just a shame I decided to start writing at the arse-end of term. Like you said, some days are writing days and some days aren't. Unfortunately the lure of chocolate pudding, my bed, my pj's and my console is far stronger than that of my laptop. At least I've been playing the game and listening to the ost, so I just tell myself I'm researching. That counts, right? Most of the plot is worked out and half of the prologue is done and dusted. It's surprisingly diffucult write about events outside of the game, where the only information given on the event is brief hints in item descriptions. I've been watching and re-watching Vaatividya's lore videos to try and figure out where the Siege of Carthus sits in the timeline. I can only really guess at what actually happened, though.
But I digress. I hope you enjoyed your holidays. Thanks for reading this far.