|Reviews for Template of a Hero|
| Kyle Chaulklin chapter 36 . 7/23
Oh how I hate and yet love Cliff hangers. Guess I'll have to wait and see how it all turns out :)
| Baconlord53 chapter 36 . 7/20
I think it's funny how the game put the odds in the players favor but for once I'd like to literally have to fight thousands of enemies in a game like Skyrim. It would be fun.
| Baconlord53 chapter 34 . 7/20
Did I just see a Lord of the rings reference?
| 1529 chapter 36 . 7/15
Great story so far (despite my opinion on the Dark Brotherhood situation).
Thanks for writing.
| 1529 chapter 35 . 7/15
The same issue comes up again about the Brotherhood... Han-zo is simply a psychopath. Honestly, the Brotherhood that you've built doesn't really have much (if anything) in relation to any version in canon... I guess you're building up reason to completely eliminate the Brotherhood, but in doing so you've removed any redeeming features from any living characters involved. Varan simply showed himself to be a coward in this chapter. He knows that what happened shouldn't have, but did nothing at all about it. He had to suspect Han-zo's complicity in the fall of the Kvatch Sanctuary, everything was fine before he showed up and he knows that Sofia was a member of the 'family.'
| J. APPLEGATE chapter 4 . 7/11
Man, it took eighteen chapters for Katjaa to be revealed as Dragonborn. I can't imagine what sort of detours and alterations to Skyrim there are to come if you're zooming through so much early on. Well, not "zooming," as the pacing is just fine and nothing really feels rushed. Although the fight with the Draugr seemed a lot longer than the fight with the Dragon, which seems kinda backward.
Good as both fight scenes were, my favorite moments were the lighter things, like Archer deciding to grave rob after all and ruin Sven and Faendal's chances with Camilla. The latter event did sort of detract from the rest of the chapter, as I can't see it's sudden out-of-the-blue occurrence really "paying off" in the future. Because I doubt Sven is a secret Blade in this story.
I also liked the addition of character development-to a small degree-of the guards. For a moment, I thought Ignar might be a new permanent POV. Now, I highly doubt that.
Oh well. Good chapter, and onto the next.
| 1529 chapter 26 . 7/10
A pretty good story to this point, but the results of this was pretty bad. She got the drop on him, injured him and still lost and died... can you make the scumbag anymore ridiculously overpowered?
It has been awhile since I've played Oblivion, but your version of the Brotherhood in Cyrodil is much more reminiscent of Astrid's version in Skyrim, the fact that the psycho stepped into Speaker so quickly while also caring not at all about those lower on the chain provides a counterpoint to your own words about family (as well as the canon information that exists)...
Most of your story is very good, but the aspects about the Brotherhood are contradictory and while your 'words' keep to canon, your characters' actions and the related reactions do not.
| anon chapter 34 . 7/10
Now officially longer than 'Infinite Jest.' Congrats!
| WelshmanS295 chapter 36 . 7/3
Can't wait for the Whiterun defense chapter and good job with this chapter as well, they just get better and better
| skeever.sensei chapter 36 . 7/2
As always I loved the new chapter! I can't wait to see what happens next, I hope you can update soon! :)
| J. APPLEGATE chapter 3 . 6/29
It's been so long since I've read a fic that follows along the main quest. I couldn't help but wonder where Rimion was, since he seemed to be absent from Farengar's office. Then I had to remind myself that Rimion is NOT a canon character. A shame.
Enough about me. Another good chapter. A lot of it seemed to be in-game dialogue, though I had the same problem of overusing it early on in my fic (so much about "enough about me.") The original bits, though, like Archer reflecting on his kill or remembering the golden claw only at the last minute, that more than makes up for the downfalls.
And I'm glad to see some proper Nordic racism. Would have loved to see Archer deck that man at the tavern, but he's probably right about it being a poor sign of ending up in the dungeon so soon after visiting Dragonsreach.
At this pace, I imagine Archer will be Dragonborn in about two chapters. Though I would like to see some more POV changes. Not that there's anything wrong with Archer. I just think you did a really good job with it in the first chapter.
| Matthias8706 chapter 36 . 6/28
Our heroes are defending a tiered city against a massive invading army of (Orcs)Nords, reinforcements are on their way, but all hope seems lost(kinda). Now all you need is a crazy Steward of (Gondor)Whiterun, a rousing speech and a cavalry charge to remake the Battle of Minas Tirith:
(book speech not the movie speech)
Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!
Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter!
Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered,
A sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor!
I always loved Lord of the Rings, the 2003 movies are probably the reason I like the fantasy genre so much. Now all I need is an axe embedded in an orc's nervous system and walking trees to feel completely content.
I'll admit I thought the gang was gonna have a harder time getting out of Morrowind, but I can see why writing that in might throw a wrench into things. Also I can't help but wonder if you'll bring General Tullius into Whiterun like you did in the comics, and if you do will he give Archer a bow, glass as apposed to ebony. Overall you have once again delivered an excellent chapter, keep up the good work.
| PastaHippo chapter 36 . 6/28
Awesome story, but I wish you'd included archers POV when he was talking to his parents.
| SilverFlameHaze chapter 36 . 6/28
Welp, now I'm worried that someone is going to die. Thousands upon thousands? Fuck, that would blow the actual battle out of the water. With that many soldiers, they could carry ladders around the entire damn wall and just try to crush the place.
And that's ignoring any possibilities of DRAGONS interfering, although they may try to normally avoid the place outside of specific circumstances because of Dragonsreach. On the bright side though, Stormcloaks tend to look down on magic so they may get reamed by anybody with some skill in it.
Ironically enough, I don't feel any actual concern of them winning but more of them taking out important people with them. Because realistically, the Stormcloaks aren't real soldiers, they're renegades. They have the armor of the country they betrayed, wield a different banner, limit themselves because of radical ideals and really only have a Hold's standard guard training. Whiterun is going to have guards that have been training for the possibility of fucking DRAGONS since the get-go which means more possibility of magic, better trained archers, and possibly more enchantments. And the Imperial Legion which is an actual army.
And they both have to deal with possible traitors. Stormcloaks basically just declared war on Whiterun, pretty much the trade city, almost any person that comes from there has motive to betray. Whiterun, meanwhile, has the Gray-manes and possibly anybody else to worry about.
...I just ranted about realism on a fan fiction about a video game that is about dragons...
I... need to go have a drinking contest with myself.
| Vickmackey007 chapter 36 . 6/28
Your writing has improved immensely. Descriptions, dialogue action. All awesome. Hurry up on the battle for Whiterun!