|Reviews for Heart of a Lioness:Through the Eyes of Queen -Book One: Jolina|
| shut the goddamn door chapter 7 . 7/29/2012
it's really good! one thing, if rafiki was alive when jolina was alive then would he still be alive in kiara's life? apart from that, it was great! very convincing portrayal of Rafiki!
| dfghjkjhutfgrdhjk chapter 7 . 7/29/2012
You portrayed Rafiki as very convincing! He was written extremely in-character. :) Crazy but lovable mandrill.
| dfghjkjhutfgrdhjk chapter 6 . 7/29/2012
Oh, poor Jolina!
| dfghjkjhutfgrdhjk chapter 5 . 7/29/2012
It was very easy to understand, don't worry. :)
| dfghjkjhutfgrdhjk chapter 4 . 7/29/2012
Oh, I thought she'd already died in the last chapter. Well, her actual death scene here was very sorrowful.
| dfghjkjhutfgrdhjk chapter 3 . 7/29/2012
Well, well, well, if if it isn't the lovely Queen Aza." This line reminded me so much of that line in my story "Into The Void". :D
This has also been my favourite chapter so far. Her death was so sad ... it actually made tears come to my eyes. *sniff sniff*
| dfghjkjhutfgrdhjk chapter 2 . 7/29/2012
This chapter is fantastic! This story is golden! :) Some improvement in your punctuation will help, but otherwise this is superb!
| dfghjkjhutfgrdhjk chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
Wow! I'm so glad you told me about your story - it's awesome! One thing though: it would be much easier to read if the dialogues were written as separate lines. Other than that, excellent job! :)
| kora22 chapter 7 . 7/28/2012
Yes, the portrayal of Rafiki was convincing. Rafiki certainly is crazy, but that's what he does. Can't wait for more! :)
| Warriorcat119 chapter 6 . 7/28/2012
You've done a really good job with this fanfic, I felt sad when the mother died though.
I've enjoyed it so far and i'm excited for the next chapter! D
| WolvesHunt101 chapter 6 . 7/28/2012
Hey! You just reviewed my story about Ahadi and Uru, and you asked me to take a read of your story. So far it's really fantastic! You have a a very admirable descriptive style, I always can picture what you're depicting in my head but never overly describe so there's a little left up to the imagination. The parts that are supposed to be scary, or emotional, come off really well- the death of her mother brought a tear to my eye :( You've also made Jolina a likeable character which is a difficult thing to do. As the chapters have gone on your style is becoming more articulate and developed, the only concern there being is to maybe structure it a little better in terms of when a character is speaking, start a new line, I was often getting lost XD. Another thing would be to maybe squash a tad more into each chapter, chapter 3 was a good lenght, because I found just as I was getting sucked in, the chapter came to a abrupt end :) your grammar is excellent as far as I can tell (though I may not be a very good judge, as my beta is always telling me off for my poor attempt at it XD). It's a very enjoyable story, keep going :)
| kora22 chapter 6 . 7/28/2012
I think she'll be meeting Mohatu very soon... Can't wait for chapter 7! Great job! :)
| kora22 chapter 5 . 7/28/2012
Nice way to show the memories of her mother. Can't wait for more! :D
| kora22 chapter 4 . 7/28/2012
Excellent job on this chapter! What will happen next for Jolina? Update Soon! :)
| kora22 chapter 3 . 7/28/2012
Good Cliffhager! Rondo got what was coming to him, but Aza is still hurt... Or worse. Update soon! :)