Reviews for Innocence
Exceeds Expectations chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
Woah, I wish I could write something this long! Well done! I loved how you characterised Parvati, and how even though she and Lavender were best friends, they still had their spats. You made LavenderColin seem plausible and I just knew what was coming at the end ;( It was a really interesting concept too, the love story through someone else's eyes! I might have to try that out myself ;) Really lovely, good job!
kci47 chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
So sad...I feel so bad for Colin and Lavender! And I'm a sucker for anything set during DH as told by someone else's perspective.
alverixorcustransfrogamorphus chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
Colin/Lavender is an interesting pairing. I really liked this although it was a little too long for my tastes. I like the way that you've characterised Parvati, it seems very... Parvati :) I just wanted to strangle Lavender at the end because hat the hell? You were bloody engaged to him and now you say he doesn't matter? Oh, also Lavender was bitten by Greyback during the battle.

Overall it was a good story. Great job
silver-nightstorm chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
Very nice! You took a crackish pairing and made it very believable so good job. I thought tepid was a bit of an awkward word to use and it seemed forced at times, but nicely done! :D
dragonflybeach chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
Very unique, telling the story of a couple's relationship from the perspective of a third person. Rather sad and poignant. Very good job on conveying how Pavarti feels that Lavender is not realistic about the relationship. Great job!
fabricated fantasies chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
This was rather good! I've never read a Lavender/Colin before, and you did really well in terms of characterisation and sticking to canon - I loved that you did it from an outsider's point of view, because Parvati's allusions to the Ron/Lavender fiasco and mentions of canon events were hilarious. The last line was excellent as well. Great job!
lowi chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
Oh, wow, this is absolutely wonderful! The ending absolutely crushed me - my heart broke along with Lav's. *sniffs*

You managed to write this so emotional and /alive/, you know? I think it was really interesting, moreover, to read it from Parvati's POV - I've never seen that before, and it fitted so well.

The way it fit in with canon was great, too, and as I of course knew what was bound to happen in the end of this, I was like on nails as the end neared... But oh my, was it brilliant. The three last sentences were great, too; so powerful!

Overall: fabulous work!
dear.dark.destiny chapter 1 . 8/12/2012
Hello dear! Sorry for such a late late late reading of this, but I knew I'd get there eventually! Very tragic ending, though we knew it would end that way anyway, didn't we. :( The believability level of this fic was not necessarily the highest (by that I mean there were a few things that could have been tweaked a bit) and some of the grammar was off, but over all, this was a nice story! The romance was there which is good and it was clever of you to do it from the point of view of Parvati.

So anyway, you will be scored on five things; grammar, plot line effectiveness, organization, gripping effect, and rules followed all out of a total score of 50.

I wish you very good luck!

Happy writings

autumn midnights chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
This was pretty good! I've never read Colin/Lavender before, that's certainly a unique pairing, but I like how you wrote it. I like how you showed their relationship, and I can definitely picture people - especially someone like Lavender - getting engaged during the war. After all, couples like James/Lily and Molly/Arthur got married early because of it, and I can imagine Lavender wanting to do the same. I think you gave Parvati a very nice personality as well, and it's realistic. The way you wrote this was unique, also, with Parvati narrating Colin and Lavender's relationship as opposed to it being from one of their POVs. My only complaint is that I don't believe Colin was at Hogwarts during DH, as Muggle-borns weren't really allowed, but I know many people write him as having been there that year anyway - you're not alone in that, certainly, and that's more of a personal opinion than anything. It was very well-written, also, and you did a very nice job balancing the darkness of what it was like under the Carrows with the romantic side of the story. Nice work!
otherrealmwriter chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
Awww this is so cute. And yet this is so sad. I haven't seen this pairing but it was so touching. Nice work.