Reviews for The Best Laid Plans, Episode I
brohne chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
I found your fic on the Writer's Anon forum as you were seeking writing advice.

I've been a Star Wars fan for decades, so I understand the attraction of writing in that universe.

I'm going to be very honest with you. I didn't get through the first paragraph. The first sentence while grammatically correct with a nice choice of words feels like an info dump straight out. You've stopped the action before it's even gotten started.

I would cut the first three paragraphs and work all that detail into the story later. Leave something for the readers to discover as they read. Be wary of telling us so much. Let the character's tell us with their actions and dialog. Setting is important, but let the character's feelings about the setting flavor the descriptions. This lets us get closer to her as a person and understand and connect with her better.

You have a very nice writing voice and I think with a some work this fic could go beyond good to being great.

_
Arrowhead1996 chapter 8 . 9/7/2012
That was great! I am definitely reading the next one!
Kadirika7211 chapter 8 . 9/2/2012
o.o Very nice ending! Has me excited for the next Episode!
Kadirika7211 chapter 6 . 8/16/2012
o.o I'm kinda speechless at the moment o.o Lots of interesting stuff going on here! I wonder how Ja'Ina is going to overcome this (Or if she is o.o). And poor Goan... Maybe he'll get rescued in the future...
Kadirika7211 chapter 5 . 8/13/2012
Mannnn, these girls need to get off-planet o.o Trouble keeps finding them! (Though it might follow them off-planet, too...) Can't wait for the next update :D
Kadirika7211 chapter 3 . 8/4/2012
I'm enjoying reading the differences between Ja'Ina and Soraa... You've defined their personalities really well :D I can't wait to see how this pans out for them... :D
Kadirika7211 chapter 2 . 8/1/2012
Still really enjoying this! I'm curious as to who Soraa's rescuer was... will we be seeing more of him in the future? Can't wait for the next chapter :D
Kadirika7211 chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
Ohhh, this is looking interesting! I love the personalities of these girls, can't wait for the next chapter!