Reviews for Flocking Movement: The Seventeenth
Guest chapter 56 . 4/17
YO! Shout out to Xazz. Word is ur having a bad day & need cheering up! U totally deserve that, as u always cheer me up with ur stories, especialy flocking movement, back for more, & zealous servant. My favorite art is that sad empty man hawk pic and the woman's neck with blue hair and pretty necklace. Xazz, you're brutally honest with everyone in ur real life & ur internet life. At the same time ur an sensitive understated person, a deep thinker, and it comes thru in ur excellent fics and original stories. Bad things happen, but u & ur characters roll with it. Ur amazing and should be proud of urself and everything uve done so far with ur life. U reach so many people who love u, Xazz, more than most ever reach in a life time. Only sending good karma your way. Also thanks for your the time uve put in on FM stuff. Later.
Guest chapter 55 . 3/20
Xazz, you rocked this! But why, why do you love these miserable endings? Weeping here! You get this pleasure ripping my heart and grinding it into the dirt. Des! Why do you always tear him away from Lucy and the gang? They're all he wants, other than to be a hero. Hard to be surrounded by all these heroes, Altair, Ezio, Hawk, Malik, Lucy. He never get's to be the hero and he's so conflicted! He's not even the anti-hero like Cain. He's, like, the villain of the piece because of a stupid mistake. He's just a kid, really. He made a mistake and had a lot of older people messing with his mind. But will the world forgive him? Will you let him be redeemed? Can't wait to find out. Your version of Des is too strong to be broken, he's descended from a long strong line of immortals. He'll win this, one way or the other.
Thanks for all the pain and despair you've given us in Flocking Movement, Xazz. I'm hoping for all of the characters to have a brighter future, but I accept anything you're willing to give us. Though I expect you'll devastate us. You're better at it than anyone. Thanks, Xazz.
Guest chapter 50 . 3/20
Xazz, I love Cain. Is he the hero or the villain? I can’t tell. I thought Altair was your hero, but he did one of the most unheroic things when he abandoned Cain. Des never would’ve abandoned someone he loved unless they were dead. Like Duncan and Lucy. Even then, he carries them with him. Altair was trying to hurt Cain, holding him guilty for crimes he’d never committed yet, saying he’s not his bro, only the Assassins whom he hadn’t seen in centuries were his bros. Altair needs to get a clue here that he acted like a jerk and owes Cain an apology. I hope Cain takes care of them all now, especially Des, because he has the most pressure weighing him down. Cain knows how to handle that. He helped Altair; he can help Des. Whether he likes it or not. Des is responsible for his own failure, but Altair has his own share of responsibility. Cain’s arrival is like the bell tolling for thee, Altair. Judgement Day has arrived in the form of Cain. OMG, Xazz, I totally love your story and hate you for all these fragging feels! (
Des and Cain are my faves here, especially hope youre willing to give Des a happy ending unlike the company. They shouldve hired you to write his story because they were too short sighted. Youve got vision, Xazz, and I wish I could hug you for it! Thanks!
Wren chapter 56 . 3/12
Wow, weirdest and greatest family reunion in history. Des is descended from every AI in the room if I understood your ideas right, Xazz. (Although the ancestors have to be related to some of the AIs, too). All 16 bloodlines converge in him. Strange all of the AIs don’t want to help him, ‘cause he’s probably the last living descendent any of the AIs have left, and he’s human. Ironic.
So if Artemis is there and she has at least half of the Proeathan weapons, and Venus has most of their tech and Mercury is their hub of their communications for Proeathan society and all have defected, the Proeathans must be pretty desperate right about now. They need these AIs back under their control and Des to power them up and keep them powered up. They’re missing so much tech and firepower they’ll never recover all they lost before the Cataclysm. Nice strategic advantage for the flock and the assassins for taking back the world from the Proeathans. Worried about Clay, but I’ll do like Des and trust you to tie up that plot line as you see fit.
I’m sitting here asking myself why I do this to myself. Why do I read your work, Xazz? Sarah’s dead, Hawk’s empty, Jake is two people struggling in one body, Lucy is never allowed to find out her own potential aside from what was programmed into her, Daniel is dead AGAIN, and now Des is ripped away again. So why do I read your torturous work? I cry over how miserable you make Sarah and Hawk and Cain, rage over the injustices done to Lucy, empathize with Clay and Des for being used by EVERYONE, and grumble about you, Xazz, for making me like characters I don’t like (Pluto!). I go through so many highs and lows reading your FMs. You crush the dreams of your characters and refuse to give them happy endings. You know why I invest the time to read your stuff? For the smashing conclusions you give your readers. ‘Cause all of the pain and agony you give us is worth the effort. Because a piece of your stories always lives inside me after I read it, rather than being forgotten, and that is how I judge good stories from useless ones. Thanks, Xazz, for all your time and effort on The Seventeenth. Lovely fic as always. (Although Ages is still my fave. None beat Sarah, although Cain comes close to equalling her). On to Triad.
Wren chapter 50 . 3/12
So Cain has a God complex. Makes sense. He and the other 4 are beyond the laws of life and death. I can see how that would go to a guy’s head. Does Cain not believe that the other faiths of history had true Gods? He knew Jesus, who died, probably witnessed it; he knew Buddha and that he died, would’ve known others and saw them all die. Maybe they were just saintly men to Cain. I’d bet his faith is in himself as he’s the only one who endures, at least until Alt came along. Then he had another immortal, another would be “God” to believe in. Until his “God” abandoned him. Alt abandoned Cain, and killed his faith. Cain’s has been searching for that faith ever since, I bet. I really love how you use the plot device of reforming antagonists into protagonists, Xazz. First Pluto, now Cain. Whose next, the Proeathans? Not sure that last one is doable.
I wonder what this means for the Proeathans They can create life, too, which is supposed to be a gift of the gods (or God). They makes clones and synthetic life. They seem to have some sort of religion, yet believe they have godly qualities or rights. Hard to tell. They don’t seem to be morally bothered in cleansing the earth of humans. Not sure what divine right they using to justify their actions, but there’s always something. Honestly, they come across as a bunch of fanatics, what with the way they chase Des and the secrets of destruction and immortality. Wonder why they didn’t experiment on Cain when they had him in their grasp. Or maybe they did and he made a deal to get away from them. After all, their plan b (clone) failed, plan c (Lucy) failed, so Cain must be, like, plan x by now. After Cain kills Alt a few thousand times, maybe he’ll join the flock. He has firsthand knowledge what’s going on with the Proeathans; he could help them. That might drive Des crazy though; then he’d have like 4 father figures haunting him. I love Cain. Sobbing. Why can't he be real? Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 45 . 3/10
Xazz, I really hated your Pluto at the end of FM. Not ‘cause he isn’t well written; you do an amazing job with w/e you write. Just that he ripped Des away from his family, tricked him into waking up the jerks who came before, dumped major guilt on Des over failing Lucy and the world, and admitted the Proeathans were responsible for Duncan’s death. (You ripped my heart out, Xazz, while writing all this. All those revelations and the destruction of Des’ life were too much for me.)For Dunc alone, Des would kill them all. Plus, Pluto was the only face the Proeathans had in your story, not counting Lucy who looked like Lucy or Sarah. Now Pluto is almost pitiable. His own people forced him against his will to become a living piece of electronics, then abandoned him. Wow. No wonder he’s filled with rage. Maybe they chose him ‘cause he led the armies that lost against Eve’s army. These people are ruthless, stealing Pluto’s life and now stealing his purpose from him. No wonder he wants revenge, god of the underworld indeed. I sort of like him now, Xazz, thanks to you. But I don’t wanna like him, darn it! Grumbles under breath. I wonder if Clay would be able to find out who Pluto once was. I don’t know what good it would do him ‘cause it’s not like he can reclaim his life. He’s trapped in a computer. Pluto is tragic and I don’t think he can see past the tragedy of his lost life to build some sort of unlife now that he’s broken the Proeathan programming. Too bad. Sarah built a new life for herself when Hawk dumped her and didn’t seek revenge even though she knew he was still alive out there somewhere. I wouldn’t have put it past Sarah to track him down again like she did after Pittsburgh and confront him. But she didn’t. She was stronger than Pluto. Sighs deeply. I do love Sarah and Hawk. Other than Cain, they are your best OCs ever, Xazz! Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 42 . 2/27
There is a problem in this relationship if Lucy knows Des would lie to her. Des doesn’t need to worry about Alt breaking them up, because Des’ll do that himself. Nothing may be true in Des’ life, but that Lucy is too good for him may be one truth. Another truth, Xazz, is I didn’t think you could create another oc I love as much as Sarah and Hawk, but you did. Cain. He’s powerful, mysterious, and dangerous. Freaking awesome combo in one oc, Xazz. An immortal who sees immortality as a gift. Who isn’t conflicted about who and what he is; he lives the moment. I wonder if Cain encouraging Alt to use the Apple is where he went wrong. Alt saw a bad future for Cain, and Alt saw the Apple as bad so he hid it (do the Proeathans have space ships- they could get it back and use it to control Alt, he must be connected to it the way Hawk, Ezio, and Des are to theirs). Maybe Alt mixed up the bad Apple in his mind with Cain being bad. Cain saved him and got him over Maria and Malik’s deaths. I don’t understand why Alt let Ezio’s family die if the future isn’t set in stone, he could’ve saved them. I don’t think you’ve ever shown Alt afraid of someone before, Xazz, and running away rather than face his past. Cain is scarier than the Proeathans; how do they think they can control him? He’s older and wiser. He thinks he’s a freaking demi-god. Was he ever worshipped like one by some primitive society? I don’t think anyone, even Proeathans, are scarier than Cain. They’re not really characters in the story, just an unseen presence. I hope Cain doesn’t give Lucy back to the Proeathans, ‘cause they’ll either kill her or reprogram her to obey. Maybe Lucy is so dangerous because she knows so much about them. I’m interested in these Faceless priests she spoke about. That’s be an interesting conversation between the Faceless, Des, and self-proclaimed demi-god Cain. Wow, a dream conversation. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 36 . 2/23
Xazz, your AI characters are fantastic. They were Proeathans when they were alive, so these are the first Proeathans the flock’s really talked to, at least that Ive seen in your fic, Xazz. Morpheus was mild mannered. He lacked the killer instinct Hera and Pluto have. Hera is blood thirsty, and she’s a perfect match for Des. He wants to kill all the Proeathans, she wants revenge. The Proeathans seem to have been based on blood and sacrifice. Lucy said they shed human blood to recover their temples. I wonder if Juno had another purpose in killing the original Lucy. Her blood must’ve been strong and she was special. Lucys sacrifice started so much for Des, mostly bad. Her death was meaningless in the games. Im glad you gave her death meaning, Xazz, and gave her character back some dignity. Seeing Hera mustve upset Lucy. Bad memories of Juno killing her and then being forced to grow up in Juno’s temple. I like your creation of Hera; shes ferocious. Hera demanding blood and a number from everyone is strange; nothing good will come of it. If Des glyphs are older than the Proeathans and is their downfall, what does that make Des? One of their gods, maybe. A bad one from their pov if he can destroy them. They need to control or appease him. Is that why they made Lucy? Synth Lucy who they control and make Des happy. For one year, apparently. The clones failed, so maybe they wanted to breed Des with Lucy. A baby theyd raise and control and interbreed with them in the hope they get powerful descendants. These AIs cant want the Proeathans to get Des back; if they control the temples, theyll control the AIs. Although Des seems to control them now. He broke Hera, because she finally pushed him too far. Clone or not, Lucy will never break, no matter how much pressure the AIs put on her. Any more than Sarah did when she lost Hawk. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 25 . 2/19
Xazz, you’re killing me. Seriously. Sarah and Hawk always have number one spot in my heart, even above Des. You bring Lucy back?! There’s a real Lazarus Syndrome going on here!
I did not see Lucy coming, Xazz. That was a brilliant move, having the Proeathans clone her, like Des’ clone. She is not a pet, she’s a person, and she is capable of thinking for herself and fighting. Des is all stressed out, but what about Lucy? She remembers Des killing her, for crying out loud. Dying. How traumatic must that be for her? To come face to face with the guy who stuck a blade in her belly must make her feel just a little bit sick. Des isn’t the only one struggling here. She grew up in Juno’s temple, the one who directly killed her. That must have been a terrible childhood, so to speak, to remember the woman who made her killing her. She’d be living in fear of her life every second in that temple, knowing she was expendable to these people. The Proeathans sound more like her captors than her masters. They let her go to Gafsa, and now she’s switching sides. She had no choice before. Lucy rocks! She’s strong and fights back and survives impossible odds. The only time she was killed was when she let herself be vulnerable with Des in her first lifetime. Of course, the flock might be a bit iffy to convince she’s on their side, but Lucy can prove herself. She’s almost as amazing as Sarah, who knew exactly what and who she wanted out of life, and seized it with both hands. Nothing crushed Sarah, losing Hawk or raising a child alone. Nothing will crush Lucy this time, either!
The Des clone got a raw deal, too. He was cloned in Juno’s temple, then forced to live 26 years of Des’ life in 1 year. Instead of being allowed to become his own person, he was shaped into a replacement. No wonder the guy resents Des. He was tortured by the Proeathans because of the original Des. Maybe he hates Lucy because he knows she loved the original Des, not him, but he loves her because he has the originals memories and feelings? If not for him, clone Des wouldn’t even exist and would never have suffered. Poor guy. Everybody, including Des, the flock, and Lucy hates him. Nobody wants him, what a sad life. Lucy and clone Des were great additions to the fic, Xazz. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 16 . 2/18
What a mess. Plantations, mines, factories, and lab experiments. How do these Proeathans believe they’re advanced? They’re ghastly. They’re committing atrocities against another living creature. Proeathans evolved faster physiologically and technologically, but not morally or compassionately. The old man Des met advised his kin not to blame an innocent for the apocalypse, but Des is the guiltiest man in the world for this mess. Now Des knows the whole world blames him even if they don’t know he’s responsible. The guilt is going to crush him. The clone. Hawk and Ezio’s reactions when they found the real Des, then his to the clone were a SCREAM! Your clone chaps rock, Xazz. Des and his clone go from trying to kill each other, to bonding over their mutual musical choices, yelling at Jake to shut up. (Malik must feel resigned amusement to eternity with this sweet goof). I could almost see Alt getting more and more furious he can’t tell them apart while they bond. The ancestors are terrified they’ll lose Des again. He’s their youngest ‘child’ and he means the world to them, not just as a hope to save the world. I don’t think they’re keyed into his emotions because they refuse to accept he’s not ok like before. Hawk gets it, but he has no emotions, so he can’t help. I think the clone was wrong. His masters get Des is a threat or they wouldn’t make his core function to kill Des. The clone failed and now his life is forfeit. He’ll survive, I bet; he’s made from Des. Des ran; the clone will run and survive. I feel a bit sorry for the clone. He only got a life to be a weapon against Des, he had no childhood if he grew in 5 years, his goals and dreams were programmed into him, he has masters controlling him (which Des hates, and the clone would too if he’s like Des), and now the Proeathans will kill him for failing. He has a sad, throw away life as far as the Proeathans and flock are concerned. The clone is alive and wants to make his life count. Good luck to him. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 9 . 2/15
Was the map Des saw the locations of the AIs? Pluto’s temple was in N.Y. Venus was in the Middle East, where the power balance had shifted in FM. Morpheus is in Jerusalem. All places on the map. Does the flock have to visit all of these places? I can see why Des gets fed up with these fetch quests. Is there no way to teleport between them the way Pluto teleported Des when he stole him away from his family at the end of FM? Be a lot faster. Now Jake and Alt have to go to Solomon’s Temple again. The site of Alt’s first big mistake. The place where Malik watched his little brother die. Painful memories, much? Even if Malik forgave Alt, this can’t be a place he wants to see ever again. Des dreaming he was dying was devastating, Xazz. Plus, the others are going to lose him again, right? These AIs keep snatching Des away. Maybe the ancestors do know Des wants to die? Maybe that’s what they’re not saying, but they don’t know how to fix Des, which Alt promised he could do at the end of FM when they flew to New York. Alt’s arrogance must haunt him sometimes. Well, he had five years to think about that after they lost Des. On to Jerusalem. Here we go again. Maybe when all of FM is finished, whoever survives in the flock should make a pilgrimage to Masyaf, the place where AC all began. Seems fitting. Alt hasn’t ever taken his family there from what I can tell, and they seem to respect that is his sacred territory and not want to infringe. Not telling you, Xazz, just speculating. You know where you want to take your story and your characters and I respect that. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 4 . 2/14
Xazz, youve gone to a much darker place in the 17th than the other FMs. Even worse than Hawk saying goodbye to Sarah. At least she lived a full life before she died. I swear I had shivers when Des asked Jake in an offhand sort of way if he thought it was cold enough that Des wouldn’t wake up again if he slept outside. That just about did me in right there. I was as taken aback as Jake, who, btw, is a lot stronger than he was when last we saw him in FM. Stronger than Des now, but Jake didn't destroy the world, so that's fair. Then you made me melt when Jake and Alt held Des between them while they slept. He needs someone to hold on to him. All he wants is the darkness of the past five years back. To not know hes personally responsible for the fun new Ice Age and the fun new Dark Age the Earth is currently enjoying. At least for humans. The Proeathans must be loving all this. Des is full of self-hatred and self-pity here, and they dont want to know how broken he is. Does Des want to die because hes running from something- his colossal mistakes, or because hes running to something- Lucy, he hopes? He said he does not want to use her as a bargaining chip, but maybe he thinks hed be with her again. The ancestors would die to rejoin their first wives, why not Des? This is harsh and painful and I had trouble breathing for a second when I realized you had Des try to kill himself, Xazz. Wasnt it enough he lost Duncan and Lucy? Theres still hope. Des must know even the Dark Ages werent totally dark. The Arab Empire actually had a Golden Age when Europe was mired in the Dark Ages. Humanity may not be totally wiped out. Resistance is out there and Des can help them to fight back and rebuild. Ach! He cant give up. My heart cant take your fics, Xazz. Lovely fic, Xazz!
Guest chapter 50 . 2/1
I’ll give Cain this much, he gave Alt fair warning about ripping all of their throats out and taking Des from them anyway. The anger and betrayal runs just as deep in Cain as it does in Alt. Alt broke Cain’s heart- why do I get the feeling that has happened a lot in Cain’s life? What if he's so angry because he's got too big a heart and feels alt's betrayal too strongly, unlike the unfeeling monster Alt makes him out to be? I may be way off track here, I haven't caught up with all your series, xazz. Still, Cain is an enigma. Thank you for creating this character. :D
Guest chapter 42 . 1/19
I adore your oc, Cain, Xazz. He is the perfect enigma. He used to be good, because he saved Alt from himself & gave him a purpose. Then he went crazy & started killing the Whitechapel prostitutes. Why? Boredom? Or desperation? He had no one & Alt had replaced him with Ezio and Hawk, a whole new family of his own, abandoning his sorta big bro. I’m just speculating here, but maybe Cain feels just as deeply betrayed & angry as Alt does. Cain must’ve felt tossed aside when Alt’s immortal family began showing up. After sobering him up & a friend he’d have forever, Cain was alone again. Cain needed someone, some connection just as badly as Alt. I know I’d be embittered like Cain. He’d think why he can’t have someone, too, when Alt had 2 people.
Why didn’t Alt intervene when he saw in the future he’d have to kill Cain? He said the future isn’t set in stone. He could’ve intervened with Ezio, saved his family or not given him immortality. He let the future play out, but why? A yearning to have a connection again that he lost with Cain?
How furious must Ezio & Hawk be, knowing Alt could’ve maybe changed their fates? I wonder if they’ll confront him about that. How terrifying, too, to hear what Alt did when Cain went rogue. To wonder if they ever lose it, will Alt do the same thing to them & lock them up forever. Jake, too.
Anything with Cain is now my favorite in your story. He’s an enigma, good, bad, kind of like Alt, but more dangerous & he scares Alt, which I thought was impossible, but anything threatening Des, his youngest, scares Alt. Cain is an exciting addition to your story. Thanks for adding him in, Xazz!
Guest chapter 49 . 12/31/2013
the quetzal title for this chapter was smart 'cause the feathers of that bird were a treasure to the mayans, which nobles used to decorate their costumes. finding the bird was hard, & the connection here is unmistakable. The proeathans are trying to find desi, their treasure, who is proving equally as elusive to them. these proeathans can't do much for themselves. they can't catch desi unless the ais help them, or cain helps them, or lucy helps them, or desi walks into a trap. they can't grow their own food unless humans do it for them. they already failed to save the world once 1000s of years ago. now they need desi to d o that for them. they don't know anything about how to treat p.o.w.s. they deserve nothing but think humans owe them everything. grumbles about bad guys. like ur story, xazz. u're a great author.
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