|Reviews for Flocking Movement: The Seventeenth|
| gg chapter 32 . 11/22/2014
lucy said in this chapter that the proeathans had to keep the clone away from her or he'd try to kill her. is it because she represents everything the clone can never have, so he'd rather kill her than let the real des have her?
| gg chapter 31 . 11/22/2014
the ancestors may be the villains as you said, but they love des so much, maybe that is the redeeming factor of their lives? des makes them more human, and less like monsters. (duncan and des together would have grounded the flock firmly in humanity). the irony is that the most level headed, grounded human in the flock is the only one who wasn't BORN a human, lucy. ezio is such a mother to the flock, always ready with big hugs and cooking meals. i'm surprised he hasn't sought out ezio's home cooking in demeter. will they have one more big family meal, just the 8 of them before they leave for atlantis? will alt ever learn that des thought about killing himself in russia? i don't think des realizes how much fear alt has about losing him. atlantis must be alt's worst nightmare (which i imagine is alt waking up, drenched in sweat, dreaming he'd just been staring down at des' lifeless body.)
| gg chapter 30 . 11/22/2014
hope those final words of des are not prophetic. when he said he just can't win no matter what he does, that didn't bode well for the future. for atlantis. for him. for his family. for lucy. for the humans and proeathans. could that mean he fails and the world dies?
| gg chapter 29 . 11/22/2014
so i just saw cain's influence on alt here loud and clear. alt dismissed the people of gafsa, telling des they were already dead. the proeathans were always going to kill them. he's not going to try to save these people and endanger his flock. this is the lesson cain taught des in oottt. that's why des decided to leave the people in the mine to die. they couldn't save those slaves without endangering everyone. jake didn't object to alt's decision about gafsa, yet he was furious when des made the same decision in demeter. interesting. also interesting to see cain's been teaching these same lessons the younger ones for so long.
| gg chapter 28 . 11/22/2014
if it wasn't for the fact that i know hawk pines for sarah as much as he's able, i'd say he's a better match for lucy than des. des is so messed up, and not as bright as hawk. hawk and lucy are a much better match intellectually. ah well. great friendships have to start somewhere. i know jake is her best friend as fm progresses, but maybe hawk can be too when/if he get's his soul back. wait and see. fm motto.
| gg chapter 27 . 11/22/2014
des got a taste of the hassles of godlike status in gafsa, so he can probably empathize with lucy's challenges in demeter. actually, cain and the ancestors can probably all empathize; over time they must all have been mistaken for gods by primitive peoples. still, they all know the truth and stay grounded in reality. the proeathans, however, seem to believe they are gods on earth. they relish the human worship, but can't deliver miracles. only nightmares. sad.
| gg chapter 26 . 11/22/2014
have to feel bad for alt sometimes. one thing cain and lucy have in common is that they've both killed him out of revenge. yet alt struggles to do the right thing; it just keeps backfiring on him.
since des is about to pick up his clone, the question arises: is his primary objective still to kill desmond miles? not to mention, why'd the proeathans make that his objective? unless it was along the lines of having the clone let himself get killed while travelling with the flock so they believed they'd lost him and not try to rescue the real des again. that would be a sad fate, being born to die. if that was the clone's sole purpose for existing, i can see why he'd resent the original des.
| gg chapter 25 . 11/22/2014
very complicated motivations here. lucy, erstwhile assassin, templar, proeathan tool. born to the assassins and proeathans in turn, absorbed into abstergo. always viewed as a tool. expendable to them all. now an angel. powerful in her own right. by her life and death she changes the world. in a brilliant twist, lucy has shaped the surviving templars into her tools (gafsa, jeffrey white), as the assassins and proeathans will become as your fm progresses. nice twist. if lucy can't beat them, she owns them. one of the most dangerous women alive in fm. nicely done, xazz.
| gg chapter 24 . 11/20/2014
this may too simplistic, but perhaps a morph could be used on altair. his nightmares keep him from sleeping for days at a time, sometimes weeks depending on the situation. yet cain sleeps like a baby. if hawk could learn to use the morph to examine altair's nightmares, or altair could be persuaded to trust an ilythian to look into his mind, maybe they could help him make peace and actually sleep at night. of course, a whole new set of nightmares awaits him with the battle of atlantis and likely losing des. that final thing should just about break altair. he loves that kid more than his immortal life.
lucy really made herself vulnerable here to the flock and expendable to the proeathans by failing to follow their plan. brave of her. lucy and the other humans/ilythians in Demeter need to be careful in case a traitor ever uses a morph on them. the victim could be driven crazy and do something they don't want to.
| gg chapter 23 . 11/20/2014
just curious- how did the proeathans plan for lucy to reintroduce herself into des' life? how was lucy supposed to persuade des to go to apollo, a proeathan stronghold?
there is one piece of proeathan tech i know hawk and rebecca would like to get their hands on, and that would be the ability to create synthetic people. both of them would like this for the academic knowledge, but i wonder if hawk would like it to possibly restore sarah with the help of the ais when- or if- hawk's soul is restored to him along with his emotions. sarah is his only love, much like lucy is des' only love. des admitted not long ago he'd only ever love one woman because he was too damaged to love another. hawk is the same as his grandson- a one woman man. will they get that tech or will hawk hack it? if the proeathans are defeated, their tech may too advanced for humans to just take it over as their own. should be an interesting mess after atlantis, one way or another.
| gg chapter 22 . 11/20/2014
this chapter was well written from des' pov, his anticipation and shock. however, i can only imagine how scared lucy was here. she spent 4 years prepping to meet this man. a man who murdered her, intentionally or otherwise. the proeathans made her for him, for w/e purpose you've yet to reveal, xazz. how sick to her stomach lucy must've been here, wondering if she'd still love him or hate him for what happened. scared he'll kill her again. lucy has always been very clear about one thing: she doesn't want to die. how frightening to disobey the orders of your makers on your first foray out into the world. this whole meeting was the fulfilment of 4 years of planning and dread. poor lucy. i'd feel sick in her place.
read your blog and the newest reviews. they were all interesting and well intentioned. i get what you said too. that said, i actually like the idea of separating the picks according to story because that way one story's characters don't receive priority over another as to whose the best oc and so on. so, as i've never done this before, let me toss in my picks from your stories i read, xazz.
fm 1 cain, 2 des, 3 tiamat, 4 lucy, 5 hawk & sarah, 6 jake & alt, 7 hera, 8 od, 9 duncan, 10 mars. perfect.
zs 1 spayar, 2 von, 3 abirid, 4 diylan, 5 helida & ilnta, 6 mali & disol, 7 aron, 8 relora, 9 per, 10 densinn. excellent blog ficlet about mali & disol, i might add. too bad it's not meant to be. ah well.
ph 1 rauf/alt, 2 cain, 3 mira, 4 maelin/bo, 5 diyari/jari, 6 lucy, 7 haytham, 8 des&darim&sef, 9 ehan/munahid, 10 kanwai/chris.
all excellent stories, xazz, and all worth their own separate pick lists. glad that's finally been recognized.
| gg chapter 21 . 11/18/2014
des has the pseudo role of god on earth here in the gafsa temple and in the minds of the proeathans. w/e he turns out to be is up to you, xazz, but the trend i notice with des is he always saves everyone when he can, which is fine. the thing is, they're always humans he saves. understandable, being one himself. whether it's a starving human thief in gafsa or a starving human slave in apollo, des saves them. but now that cain's mentoring des to accept proeathans as part of this world too, i'm curious if des would ever save a proeathan the same way? either from other proeathans or from humans about to, say, lynch said proeathan? are the lives of proeathans just as valuable to des now as the human lives are? would des preach about how important the proeathan life is to the humans who've known so much pain and loss under proeathan hands? would he teach the proeathans the other races are just as vital as their own? ( destroying drell) just wondering how far his viewpoint has evolved from the 17th to oottt.
| gg chapter 20 . 11/17/2014
you mentioned the human labs once the proeathans ran, and if i think gafsa was one. what was the point of gafsa? they didn't seem to have proeathan overseers. do they want to guage how far 'free range humans' will go to appease the new masters of the world? how much leeway they can be given and still obey? not much, obviously, since jeffrey white plainly stated he planned to kill des. the irony that the templars want to save humanity and would in fact doom it by killing des is too funny. (rather funny, too, that the flock- all assassins- were killed by templars here in gafsa. one last kick at the brotherhood by a dying order.) vidic was helping the proeathans before cain killed him, too. have any surviving templars wanted to join des' side? they'd hear rumors about human/ilythian rebels attacking plantations if anyone would. templars've always been good at spying, even when prisoners themselves. also, are the proeathans still trying to get humans to worship them as gods with this made up stasselin religion? very relevant chapter.
| gg chapter 19 . 11/17/2014
interesting that here jake and des are the ones fraying at the edges with stress. in oottt they're coping a lot better. jake because he has alt and lucy (partner and best friend), and des because he has cain and lucy (mentor and friend/more?). at the same time, alt is the one who is fraying under the stress, which the others seem not to notice. or maybe they just can't accept that because alt is the leader of their little family and if he frays, they could fall apart. good role reversal between alt and the two youngest in the flock, xazz.
| Guest chapter 26 . 11/1/2014
I hate when take Altair for an idiot! But it's cool!