|Reviews for Rosemary is for Remembrance|
| CurlyTwirlyMir chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
The relationship between Laertes and Ophelia has always fascinated me and should not be left by the wayside. A lot of people seem to think that they were either incestuous or they don't pay much attention to the relationship at all but I fully agree with you that it needs to be addressed, so kudos for writing this.
I enjoyed finding the little foreshadowing in the narrative when you specifically said "drowned with memories", a very nice touch as well as always implementing the significance of the river. You're writing flows very well and the only thing I would say to watch out for is for a majority of the time, you have a sort of archaic way of phrasing things-especially the dialogue (e.x. "Laertes, why do you loathe me so?"); but every once in a while it's slightly disrupted. The one that stuck out for me most was when you used the term "hang out". Other than that, it very descriptive and poignant.
I do have a question though which you don't have to answer me back just consider (Or don't even consider, I can't force you it's just a review): In your preface you mention their close relationship and I don't quite understand how they got to that point the way you've ended this. It comes off as though Laertes doesn't think they'll ever be close again, he insults her and doesn't attempt to confront what she's thrown at him or reconcile. He's crying so some part of him is upset but I don't understand why. It's sort of unresolved, you make a reference to adolescence being difficult but it's not totally clear as to whether or not that's why he's acting the way he is. I guess my question is, What does Laertes actually think of her? Since it's told from Ophelia's point of view she may be confused but is there a way you can make it more clear for the readers, because as it stands right now Laertes is not coming off as the type who would fight over his sister's honour or jump into her grave.
Apologies, that was quite long and I don't mean to dwell but I also try to be thorough.
One last thing, I really like the way you've written Hamlet, he's not easy to tackle.