Reviews for Good Business
Venere Veritas chapter 1 . 7/28/2013
Wow, this was a great read. I’s really glad someone as talented as you chose to write for this pairing. I love these two together, and your one-shot (?) was absolutely spectacular. Both Crocodile and Doflamingo remained in character throughout the story, which is quite a feat when writing explicit work. However, with that being said, there are a few issues with this story. I’ll go over the ones I’ve spotted, but it’s important that you look over your stories once in a while to help fix past mistakes.

1. He remained there for the past three hours, huddled in the warmth of his thick, black coat, hands in the pockets of his pants, watching the rain.

-Crocodile only has one hand. Easy mistake, even easier to fix.

2. "Please, call me Doflamingo," he said smoothly, his voice as coaxing as a liquid trail of honey - poisoned, most likely.

-This one you probably didn’t even notice. You use the en dash (-) where you should have used an em dash (–). This is done a few times in this story, and can be very distracting since you leave spaces between the words and the dashes. Replace the en dash with the em dash and you can remove the spaces to create a nicer look, as well as proper use of dashes.

3. Blonde vs blond

-This one is very easy to make. In your second big paragraph you use “blonde,” but for the rest of the story use the word “blond.” I know I’ve done this many times, and it can be hard to keep track of which version of the word you are using. Luckily this only happened just once, so it should be a very easy fix.

4. “- if you let me go before I really have a reason to kill you."

- Once again, a misuse of the dash. Change it for the dialog between Doflamingo and Crocodile.

5. "I'll really kill you for that, you son of a bitch?"

-I honestly have no idea why this is a question, especially since Crocodile was yelling the previous sentence. If this was your intent then go ahead and ignore this one.

6. He unbuttoned to sole fastening on his white shirt and peeled it off his skin…

-Do you mean “the” sole fastening, or something else? Once again, if this was the intent, then bypass this one.

7. “incomplete” one-shot

-I made it to the bottom and discovered that this was, in fact, a one-shot. However, this story is not marked complete. In case you did not know how to, go to “Publish,” then to “Manage Stories.” Click on your finished story and scroll down to “status” (it should be highlighted blue). Here you can change your story to “complete” or “in progress.” Remember, some people on this site will only read completed works, so you’ll want to get this done very soon.

Once again, I was really impressed by the quality of this work. You did a wonderful job with detail, and the scenes moved along very smoothly. The more ”descriptive” parts of the story did not drag too long or become repetitious. I actually wish this wasn’t a one-shot as I’d really like to see you work with this pairing again. Oh well. I really hope you continue to write more wonderful fictions on this site.

Thank you for your time and happy writing,

Venere
Adryen chapter 1 . 7/20/2013
I can't believe I didn't find this story earlier!
You are AMAZING! I love this!
It's such a good story, I love this pairing and the way you wrote about them... marvellous!
Please tell me you're going to write more story with these two, either as some kind of sequel for this or another story, but I hope there will be another story with them.
Once again, you're amazing
The Animal Monster chapter 1 . 7/12/2013
You are amazing, you nailed their personalities perfectly Crocodile, being as arrogant as ever. Especially his "no matter how strong you are, you are still beneath me" attitude was really well portrayed.
Doflamingo is still a bit of a mystery to me but him saying he always get what he wants is true considering his line of work :)

I really did enjoy reading this but I think Crocodile would've followed Doflamingo home simply because he knew that if he didn't comply Flamingo would just force him, also dealing with someone as Flamingo can be quite fruitful...in many ways XD

Again, thank you very much
GoldviAuvs chapter 1 . 6/25/2013
Wow... You did a very great job portraying the characters. This is definitely one of the best DoflaCroc fic I have ever read. Thank you so much for writing this awesome fic!
Imma gay bitch chapter 1 . 4/27/2013
I think this story was gay literally
hikaru.of.sora chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
o/o...well that was-*faints*
but really, really cool story i love how they stay in character really well done!
im gonna check out your other stories
DestinyBlitz chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
Woooooww! I'm...amazed! You portrayed the characters perfectly! Not a single hint of OOC, it was a pleasure to read! I love how you gave that naughty old Doflamingo the nickname "The Joker" - It suits him so well! And Croc was so stubborn, and still he was the perfect uke for doctor pink feathers!
Keep it up!
animechick57 chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
I LUV UR ONE-SHOT XD
"piracy" haha crocodile ur so cute X3

Thank u for posting this fanfic XD
Alexa Hiwatari chapter 1 . 10/8/2012
poor Dofla he loves him
Ullragg chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
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this was lovely
thank you for having brought it into existence
...
Dofu is adorable
MarcoAce chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
this was my first crocodile x doflamingo and I thought you did a really good job! I thought it was funny too :p
yaoi-freak2580 chapter 1 . 8/31/2012
i love the story it was really good :D i just wished that they got together, but overall it was really good keep up the good work
tAraentuLa chapter 1 . 8/28/2012
This is very beautiful! I loved it very much! I hope there are more stories like this out here. I pity Doflamingo a little here. Met his match huh? Great job! ;D
Colleen chapter 1 . 8/22/2012
So. Fricken. HOT! please write more! also, i love how crocodile was still in character!
colleen chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
So. Fricken. HOT! please write more! also, i love how crocodile was still in character!
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