Reviews for Suzumiya Haruhi no Yami
Spikesagitta chapter 7 . 9/10/2014
Right. So Haruhi is another one of Eve's sister. To think, this is the story that got me reading up the other story in the proper order.
World of Dragons Productions chapter 7 . 6/7/2014
"How does one mend a break with reality?" I have no friggin clue, at least one based on the rules of dimensional travel and such according to this canon universe. This chapter was a bit short, but then again I suppose there wasn't a whole lot to go from.

I didn't really care too much for Koizumi when I used to watch Haruhi. The guy always seemed like a kiss-ass and reminded me of those kinds fanatical fanboys who worshiped Haruhi like some sort of god (figuratively, but I fear that might be some people who did so literally)

Anyway moving on. The whole thing with the four factions popping out of nowhere seemed kind of comical, to say the least. Mikuru' older self also seemed kind of out of character to me, but then this is coming from a guy who only watched a few episodes before the heroine pissed him off. So, I suppose she could indeed be desperate to resort to seduction tactics.

However, the Ryofu's disarming move was a bit confusing to read, and I'd have to probably read it over again to make sense of it. But the real meat of this chapter has to be the sequence in the enclosed space. Never in a million years would I have guess that Suzumiya Haruhi is actually a middle school student who based all this madness off ideas for a story.

Let's see, putting some pieces together, I'm guessing that she witnessed Eve's passing in the form of a suicide, and decided not so much her world was boring, but instead didn't want to live in a world where her sister was gone for good. Now, possibly, the main step is getting her to come to grips with the reality of the situation. However, the problem is doing so that isn't just going to make things worse.

Another thing I'm wondering if that since the real Haruhi based the show's reality on her story, how did Hazuki and everyone else fit in? I might have to go back and read the previous chapters, but I'm wondering if their appearance was somehow predicted by her or something.

Lastly, Haruhi's... I'll say favoritism towards Koizumi in the initial episodes I watched makes a lot of sense thanks to this chapter. I get the feeling Koizumi won't even entertain the idea of being in a relationship with her out of fear of what might happen, especially considering what we're dealing with, but it does make me wonder if there's hope that he and Haruhi can be an item of some sort.

I suppose we shall see. . I'm also trying to get back to work on my Eds story.

Anyway, here's to hoping I hear back from you, haven't seen you in a while since the last Strange Fire chapter.

shanejayell chapter 7 . 6/7/2014
Oooh. Okay, this is getting good. LOVE the bit with Kyon describing the confrontation "all guns, knives, threats and cleavage."
MissGardenia chapter 7 . 6/6/2014
Deeper and deeper in the rabbit hole we go.

I'm surprised Koizumi's taking it so well. Reinforcement of his bro status!
xXimmortalXx chapter 6 . 5/8/2014
Please update this story is amazing!
Emperor Of Lemurs chapter 6 . 3/29/2014
I rather liked this one. Kyon's questions at the start of the chapter ran somewhat parallel to my own. Well, except for the "gay as the day is long" one.

Human!Nagato was somewhat disconcerting at first (though telling the entity to fuck itself was awesome), as its pretty hard to imagine her as anything other than the not-actually-emotionless girl from canon. It was part of her charm, really. And I may be reading it wrong, but it almost seemed as if Kyon was AFRAID that she would turn into her Disappearance Moe-self. Glad she didn't!

Still though, I have to admit that I totally shipped Nagato and Kyon when I was reading the novels. Your romance scene practically made me squee.

Apparently one doesn't have to be female to fangirl at things.

Its also heartwarming to see Kyon and Hazuki bonding. There as definitely a disjoint between them at the start which is no longer there. Much like this fic itself; the sheer dissonance between the narratives made it somewhat awkward at the start, but you seem to be improving on the style more and more with each chapter. Keep it up!

Can't wait for the Kyon and Koizumi chapter. The one thing that always disappointed me in canon was that Kyon and Koizumi never really bonded. I mean, I get that it reflects the (somewhat unfortunate) real life tendency of guys to maintain emotional distance from each other, but still. Yaoi or no, I always got the sense of at least an unrequited (to use Hazuki's terms) raging bro-crush. Good to see them getting along better! And funny that Kyon measures Koizumi's emotional health by how annoying he is.

And, as petty as this may seem, it was good to finally see someone get a partial one-up on the supernatural lesbian astral sex connection. Kyon and Nagato have a deep connection even without it! Seriously though, I get that the "most magical purest form of love happens between two girls" trope is a staple in the Yuri genre, but... I'm a guy, and sometimes it makes me feel down on myself, damnit!

On the other hand, Nagato having pseudo-symbolic astral yuri sex with the Yamiberry cast does make for nice fanservice! All that from a touch!

And since it all happens from holding hands, and Koizumi also held hands with them... Koizumi had magical lesbian sex with the Yamiberry cast.

See Kyon, you don't have to be a lesbian for the Souma-magic to happen! Ambiguously gay works too!
Emperor Of Lemurs chapter 5 . 3/28/2014
Oh yes, I was very much waiting for that encounter. And you did not disappoint!

I kind of imagined this encounter as them shouting at one another, but this was far more in character. Lilith being a shameless flirt and scary as hell at the same time, Kyon's being resolute and determined to protect his friends despite having absolutely nothing to go on...

Let's face it, Kyon is so beloved because his awesome moments are something you could imagine a real person doing. Awkward, hiding behind snark, mildly terrified...and pulling inner strength from he knows not where.

Goosebumps at the whole "Everything will be safe and normal and you'll get to be with all your friends... but they won't be quite the same, and "your" Haruhi won't really exist anymore." As soon as she said that, him going into defiant determinator mode was guaranteed. It is the one thing he fears most.

Lilith got her blows in too. Kyon may be a meta deadpan snarker extraordinaire, but seriously, he has no chance of out-metaing a goddess who's domain of creation is based around STORIES.

I chuckled at her straddling him at the end. Considering that, and her past interactions with Hazuki and Kaname, the girl really seems to be attracted to people who defy her! Also, her introducing herself to Kyon by appearing naked in his bed? Classic!
Emperor Of Lemurs chapter 4 . 3/28/2014
That sucks. The surprise at seeing this fic continued is a bit less pleasant now that I know its inspiration. Rest in peace Brian.

Well, now we know why Kyon is so normal. He's normal because he's literally the only real person in existence, other than Haruhi. Wonder how his ability to influence supernatural beings will get them out of this least he has the Yamiberry brigade to help him!

Good twist though, I actually didn't see that one coming!

Despite the inherent serious drama in this chapter, I quite liked the subtle humor:

Nagato goes to the Great Library, which is somewhat akin to actual Heaven. The Great Library is filled with near infinite books/data, which is heaven to a Data-Entity. The Great Library is a library, filled with millions/billions of books, which is heaven to Nagato. Nagato is in Super Heaven!

Kyon actually realizes he said his inner thoughts out loud! Damn you, Inner Voice! He touches on the fact that all Souma bearers tend to be lesbians! Seriously, Rushuna is a token.

Naru and Keitaro have Souma! I've actually been suspecting that since Mutsumi was mentioned; it explains Naru's super strength and Keitaros immortality. Fridge Brilliance!
Emperor Of Lemurs chapter 3 . 3/28/2014
Cool! Can't say I've ever seen Grenadier, but Rushuna seems pretty awesome. Anime gunslinger complete with insane improbable reloading powers.

Speaking of insanity, Kyon has a pretty strange threshold for "downright ridiculousness," doesn't he?

Nice to see the entire gang fighting Asakura all at once. Especially Kaname, kicking all kinds of ass. And her appraisal of Kyon... I feel that "being a male not instantly dismissed / viewed with suspicion by Kaname" belongs on his list of "Badass Kyon Accomplishments".

Wonder what will happen next? Would like to see the Yamiberry case get into a troll battle with Koizumi...
Emperor Of Lemurs chapter 2 . 3/28/2014
Where have you been? For that matter, where have I been?

Seeing this updated was a pleasant surprise, I never really thought you'd actually try to finish it.

And finish it you're probably going to (if you haven't already, I haven't read the other chapters) because things are escalating quickly. Already an Asakura fight in the second chapter, and this isn't even an in media res prologue!

Also, your Koizumi is awesome. You nailed his character perfectly; its like reading his bullshit from the novels all over again. Right down to the "that was a joke!...mostly! TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOL!"

Mutsumi is also nice. Very Chikaruish. Fitting as she was basically the Chikaru of Love Hina anyways. Also, nice touch with everyone being able to sense the Soma except Kyon. Dude is so normal it makes him special.

Kyon's voice is still somewhat (inevitably) off, admittedly. Was kind of weird seeing him address the audience directly... though I could be wrong. I can't remember if he ever actually does that or not in canon, Still, glad the whole "other characters respond to Kyon's inner monologue" thing is still there. Its his trademark. I'm kind of shocked that Hazuki doesn't lampshade it, to be honest!
yurimylove chapter 6 . 3/19/2014
Engrossing! I'm amazed how you took these two seemingly divergent/irreconcilable concepts "universe is a library" and "Haruhi is god", and made them fit together so seamlessly. The premise of this series, that the trauma of losing her sister triggered the initial reality break 4 years ago - a stroke of genius! Amongst other things (like the time travel limit etc.), it neatly explains why Haruhi doesn't have a sister, since in the current reality she really doesn't. It's a dangerous thing when someone with the power to alter reality is in denial.

Your stories have always been a great read for me because not only are the dialogues top notch, but the words and sentences "flow smoothly" (for lack of a better way to describe it) as I read them. Plus the plotlines are always consistent and I've never really noticed any glaring plotholes before. These characteristics apply not just to Suzumiya Haruhi no Yami, but all the other fanfics in this account as well.

As usual, I eagerly look forward to the next chapter.
Leez chapter 6 . 3/10/2014
Is this itself a yuri?
shanejayell chapter 6 . 2/10/2014
Oooh, very nice. Human Yuki is still recognizable, while still coming to grips with what had happened. Well written scenes.

LOVED the scene with Kimidori. :D YUKI of all people dropping the F-Bomb... Ha. Made me grin.

Also lol'd a bit at the club room scene with Yuki. "This body has needs." Bet poor Kyon thought he'd wandered into a H-anime by accident. Yuki becoming a 'yami' is interesting... does that mean Mikuru might be a third part of the triangle too?

Speaking of Mikuru... So, Asahina's superiors are getting antsy. I wonder if older Asahina will be sent in, and our heroes will discover her origins? My current pet theory is that both Asahina's are in fact the same being... and possibly her 'superior' is in fact older Asahina herself. Would be very tidy at least.

Tsuruya being a Haruhi-construct surprised me. Seems a waste of energy to just create a side-kick character, instead of just, I dunno, reprograming someone. Rewriting? ;) Of course that may mean she's important to your story later.

Looking forward to next bit!
ninemil con'd chapter 4 . 2/7/2014
...manipulate,” but goes on to say “but theirs was right out there where we could disrupt it with our own.” I’m guessing my interpretation of this is correct, in that the two assailants were unable to manipulate ‘data’ to combat the sliders as they might have done with normal opponents, but were vulnerable to damage from the sliders because they were being attacked by other Souma wielders? While that was my interpretation, the use of the word “shielded” kinda also implies that this ability to attack and do real damage was one-sided, and that Asakura-san and Kimidori-san would have been unable to do the sliders permanent damage. Given Hazuki’s ‘respawn’ after returning to the library, and that ‘trade secret’ bypass to explaining it, the text does kinda leave the potential for the misinterpretation (?) that Hazuki and co were somehow impervious to the Entity’s attacks. (Which of course doesn’t make sense in a Yamiberry piece, where Hazuki is always getting a chunk torn out of her as part of the job description :p) I don’t know if other readers saw the same potential for confusion, or if it’s just me, but perhaps a line to consider editing slightly?

The meta is otherwise amazing, tho, and deliciously complex. I love the onion shell analogies, I love the emotional implications of Yuki being unplugged from the collective, I love the way you explain away that whole ground-hog sequence in the Haruhi canon and *actually give it narrative purpose,* when it seems to be so intensely hated by the Haruhi fanbase at large. I love the time-travel limitation. I love the way the whole explanation sequence is broken up tidily by Kyon’s wtflesbian snarks, and you lampshading Ituski and Mikuru’s own reveal with the reference to her having been out of contact with her superiors. It’s all so damn slick, so perfectly executed. You’ve been sitting on this for a fair while now, am I correct? Either that, or you just fluked your way through degree level mathematical modelling on a whim and a prayer :p You really should be proud of this. It’s a feat unto itself.

Which of course then leads us to that final reveal… So I guess this is why Kyon is the only one without superhuman powers then…? He’s the only ‘real’ one there. Good shit. (Which of course rose more questions for me as to whether Haruhi is actually creating sources, or simply manifest Souma into things as part of her universal illusion…)

Speaking of which - your reference to Mu-chan’s ‘real’ transference event, btw – I’d love to read more of this at a later date, if just as an aside piece into the history of Love Hina’s connection to the Yamiberry universe, and also to delve into what it is that Mu-chan actually did, and whether it’s different to what Haruhi is doing with individuals such as Yuki, and whether she actually replicated the process that Eve put all her sisters through? A lot of potential for deep storytelling there, particularly with regard to how Naru-san and Keitaro-san might have reacted to it, if they did at all. Yes, I know, that’s more shit to write, but if you’re gonna wave a bone before of a dog’s face, the dog’s gonna wanna chew on it :p

Anyway, despite everything that’s happened in this chapter, I’m still here without any clue whatsoever about how you’re going to resolve all this… (Running theme in my reviews of this piece, ne? :p) If anything, I only have more questions. Just how do you go about undoing the kind of mess that Haruhi has made here? And more to the point, how, as Team Coven, do you going about asking a number of individuals to help fix it, when you know that part of the solution may actually involve their destruction? Just *how* many people has Haruhi brought into existence in the same manner as she has with Yuki, Itsuki and Mikuru, (the Entity too, for that matter,) and what happens to them if the source book at the centre of this cosmic onion is freed?

I smell a rather large number of new refugees entering the library sometime soon, unless you’ve got tricks up your sleeve to close all this, and not completely alter the Haruhi universe forever :p But perhaps that’s the plan? :D

Looking forward to seeing how you progress. w00p for another amazing trip out! :D
ninemil chapter 4 . 2/7/2014
“But the subtleties, man, the subtleties!”

Speaking of meta-physical rich, and working the tropes :p

So I’ll deal with the little remarks and the finer details as I go, but the crowning moment of this chapter has to be that non-sexual double entendre regarding Yuki crying as she stands by the balcony. It’s so far in advance of the actual reveal as to what’s happened to her meta-physically, that I couldn’t help but crack a smile when it landed, and the chapter sailed on regardless. I even doubted myself for a second when the conversation immediately shifted tone, but jeez – the execution here was flawless. Perfect feint and lead in

I won’t lie – I think from our previous chapter meta that you could tell I’d whiffed what you were up to with Yuki’s Souma and what would happen to her upon returning to the library – but the way you’ve gone about structuring this plot development, including the further step into extrapolation by applying it to Asahina-san and Koizumi at the end, is perfect. I absolutely adore how in encroached and involved it in is the mechanics of each property’s setting, and while that may have put up barriers for readers who aren’t as familiar with your Yamiberry canon, I’m firmly of the belief that the story has benefited far more than it might have suffered due to the potential issues with accessibility. This is rich stuff. Deep, philosophical, and complicated. Absolutely what the doctor ordered, in an era of shallow storytelling, and fickle authorial direction.

I smiled at the sidestep regarding Hazuki’s hair :p I know it presented a bit of a barrier at a point in time at which you wanted to get going, but I’m definitely gonna nudge you over it occasionally, for the potential wealth of extrapolation that I feel it represents. It’s one of the reasons this review has taken so long, since there are so many questions one can raise off the back of it, and it’s such a delicious mental trap to fall into. During sequences where Souma-carriers have been wounded in the past, you’ve often described Souma rushing from their wounds, much akin to blood escaping from a cut, as their source pumps Souma toward the wound in an attempt to heal it. Chikaru is noted for being able to channel available Souma to aid that process and to help the wound close, so perhaps this happened off-screen after the last chapter ended, and much akin to a vampire, Hazuki simply regenerated her hair by returning to a physical form similar to the one she had when she originally gained her source? (Hence perhaps the unfading scar on her leg?)

But in the case of Yuki, she had Souma, but was unable to regenerate a new body to replace the shell stripped from her when the Entity released her, and Mu-chan had to hold that Souma together to stop ‘Yuki’ from dissipating. That implies Haruhi hadn’t transfered a source to her as such, but simply ‘manifested’ Souma into Yuki’s Entity-created shell. Since the shell itself would have been an extension of the Entity’s own Souma, how do these constructions actually work? How does Souma imprinting onto a life form actually work, and what is the definition of a life form when Souma is involved? Which part of Yuki in the before and after case is… well, Yuki? (The same going for Itsuki and Mikuru now.) The Souma, or the shell? I presume Eve has now given Yuki her own source, so perhaps this is why a permanent body has now manifested for her? But does this then mean that Haruhi’s willpower is the only thing holding all these other individuals like Yuki together?

That would be some pretty terrifying shit, were I Asahina-san or Itsuki.

I therefore find myself wondering if a Souma source perhaps represents an inner-self, like the traditional model of a soul, which somehow defines and strengthens the shell that houses it, but is separate to it in nature? That would perhaps mean that the Souma given to Yuki from Haruhi could be considered an almost alien-like entity that had usurped and altered her own original construction as an extension of the Entity, raising the immediate question of whether Yuki is still Yuki, now that her connection to the Entity has been severed. Of course, that statement also implies that the Entity is somehow a standalone being - a separate Souma source from Haruhi herself - and while that may be the case now, we’ve already been told that it wasn’t in the past. Regardless of what Yuki and the others actually are, I get the distinct impression that this whole story is going to collapse back onto a single moment when someone very dear to Haruhi left her in a green flash of light. After all, it’s had such a profound effect on so many of the previous individuals whose stories document the same experience, is it that far reached to believe someone with Haruhi’s extraordinary talents couldn’t create a thousand, thousand existential shells to shield herself from having to remember the painful truth?

The big question then, is what happens to everyone created in the interim?

Either way, I think the thing to take away from this, is that regardless of the actual meta-physical outcome you’ve selected for the story’s core plot, you’ve got an incredibly well constructed setting here, which can provoke deep philosophical consideration as to its workings. It reminds me a lot of my early experiences with Ghost in the Shell, and how blown away by that universe I was, too. And that’s a pretty loftly calibre to be holding against you, my friend. Rain dun good here.

So, back to the actual prose. Interesting to see Haruhi’s continued objectification here, and her lack of actual lines and screen-time presence. Not having read the books, I don’t know if this simply follows in tone, but whether it was an intentional choice or not, keeping the reader out of direct contact with Haruhi does a lot to add to the sinister undertone surrounding her powers and past actions. I’m not entirely sure how to vocalize the mechanical manner by which it comes across, but having her constantly referred to in absence really adds to the mental space in which the later comments about the potential for everything to go wrong dwell, as well as unsettling the reader further when you drop the revelations regarding Mikuru and Itsuki’s humanity. I guess it’s taking Haruhi as a character out of the realms of being a ‘person,’ and into the role of being this ‘thing,’ with massive destructive powers and the potential for existential harm. That’s a poor way of putting it, but I guess it’s hard to visualize a school girl as being a universe-threatening time bomb if she’s walking and talking like an average highschool senior :p

I loved Kyon’s snark about Hazuki’s ‘pretty girl’ tease. He really is a tortured soul, isn’t he? I also loved the comment about Hazuki’s red jumper. I’m guessing that probably *is* Chikaru’s jumper from the other night, which carries with it a heart-warming extrapolation about Chikaru’s implied level of comfort with intimacy within the Coven, if by this point they’ve taken to sharing clothing. Perhaps I’m reading too much into an off-comment, but it’s a desirable aside, given the level of torture Chikaru is going through back in the main canon, in the years prior to this point.

Nice to see Japanese formality given proper due attention, despite the incredibly large white elephant in the room at the time. Nothing says good old skool Japanese culture more than taking the time to observe tradition, regardless of events surrounding the moment. Kyon’s narrative frustration with this also adds greatly to his implied level of emotional commitment to Yuki, as well as his underlying personality. Working that first person nicely there, in what could otherwise have simply been a corridor paragraph :p

I guess that kinda raises the potential for a shipping point, doesn’t it? After all, Yuki is human(ish) now, certainly more human than she was before. And she’s also free from the Entity as such too. Does this mean Kyon can finally get his karmic dues and enter into a relationship with her? You’ve always seemed to have a soft spot for these two when you’ve referred to the series in the past. I’d love to see an appearance in the main canon later as a happy couple, but god knows how much further into core Yamiberry you’d have to go to make that possible :p It’s a cute shipping possibility, all the same, the issues of a human - Souma-barrier pairing aside

I feel like the line about ‘calling in a favour’ should carry weight with me, but without being up to date in the main canon, it’s hard to tell if I’ve missed something. Who’s favour, and who called it in, one wonders. Is this in reference to Yamiberry of the Dead? I thought that was repaid with the Koihime-reference thing? (See, I dodged the spoiler this time :p)

During the oppai joke, I also noticed specifically for the first time that you’re intentionally dropping honorific for Itsuki from Kyon’s point of view, but not for Asahina-san. Is this a habit picked up from reading the books, I find myself wondering, or an conscious manipulation of honorifics, because it’s very much correct for the age and kind of guy Kyon is. Nicely done :p

And then we’re into the meta-physical. Heavily into the meta-physical. As I’ve already said once, I love everything you’ve done here, and for the most part it makes complete sense to me. One quick aside, tho.

During Hazuki’s explanation of her fight with Asakura-san and Kimidori-san, she says “our energy was shielded from their ability to manipulate,” but goes on to say “but theirs was right out there where we could disrupt it with our own.” I’m guessing my interpretation of this is correct, in that the two assailants were unable to manipulate ‘data’ to combat the sliders as they might have done with normal opponents, but were vulnerable to damage from the sliders because they were being attacked by other Souma wielders? While that was my interpretation, the use of the word “shielded” kinda also implies that this ability to
36 | Page 1 .. Last Next »