|Reviews for A Mothers Love|
| Olivia Murray chapter 4 . 8/13
please update soon
| guest chapter 4 . 8/20/2012
Hmmm interesting. I thought she said in chapter three that she would have left Carlisle. Seems a bit inconsistent.
| downtonlove chapter 4 . 8/19/2012
Favorite chapter so far!
| P.W.Gates chapter 4 . 8/18/2012
Aw yay! :)
I really liked this chapter
| Tayswiftfan242 chapter 3 . 8/9/2012
This is such a great story and I'm loving every single minute of it, please, please, please update soon as I really want to read what happens next ;)
| Imaginone chapter 3 . 8/5/2012
This was a really moving chapter! Very well done :) but...poor, poor Mary! :(
| Anonymous Again chapter 3 . 8/4/2012
I'll second chatterboxx's request for a beta. There's nothing wrong with having one, EVERYONE could use a second pair of eyes to look over their stuff. Published authors have editors, fanfic authors have betas. The other person can sometimes notice things that the author can't, such as inconsistencies or things to expand upon. I know this might sound so cliched and all that but it REALLY is true, for everyone, and I hope that you won't dismiss it. :)
| chatterboxx chapter 3 . 8/4/2012
I don't mean to come out as rude, but this is my review: i think you have a good premise in your hands. it's a theme that haven't been explored, not that i remember, and you could do something great with it. however, i feel like everyone is out of character, and there are some actions that feel forced. number one: matthew would never have an affair with mary while engaged to lavinia. he just wouldn't. the man was blaming himself because he thought his fiancée had died 'cause she saw a kiss, so i don't think that's plausible. number two: mary is a strong character. the strongest, imo, and this is not portrayed well (yet, maybe there'll be some development). also, from what i gather, she gave birth that day, was walking 'round the house, then got beaten pretty badly and was, on the next instant, making out with another man? no, not possible. a woman who gives birth is extremely fragile, for at least a day or so. her injuries after the beating would be way more terrible, and after two traumas like that (giving up the baby and getting beaten), i don't think she'd be up to a make out session. number three: matthew wouldn't leave lavinia and newborn child to go to haxby. again, he is too honourable. he wouldn't dare to suggest that they kept having an affair. not possible, again, in my opinion. the first chapter was strong, but the last two just weren't as good. i don't know, the whole thing just feels a little fuzzy for me and i don't like it. BUT, i really don't mean to discourage you. if you like where you're going, then by no means stop it. i would like some better description of things, on a more technical note. i feel like everything is happening too fast, and some elaboration on what the characters are feeling and how it develops. the fight scene bothered me particularly. the way you say "punches her a few more times" just feels like you're dismissing it and it's not that big of a deal, even though she just had a child and, let's be honest, probably wouldn't survive such aggressions, especially without medical care. and, lastly (i promise!), i would suggest betaing (there were a few typos, nothing serious, but it would be better without them) and a better formatting. the way you use ' instead of " can be a little hard on the eyes, but that's me. i'm really sorry about this bible, but i honestly just want to help. :)
| P.W.Gates chapter 3 . 8/4/2012
Dont make him leave her like that
Update like now!
| P.W.Gates chapter 2 . 8/4/2012
I'm gonna cry so bad :'(
Please update soon x
| lady montague chapter 2 . 8/3/2012
Beautiful, please keep going...
| golightly15 chapter 2 . 8/3/2012
I had a lot of questions after the first chapter (like did Lavinia know that it was Matthew's child? What had happened between Matthew and Mary that he would be so cold about the situation?) so I'm glad we're getting flashbacks! It's a really interesting premise! And, I always kind of felt like had Mary gone through with marrying Sir Richard that an affair with Matthew would have been inevitable. Although, I do think it's trickier on Matthew's part since he cares enough about Lavinia to not want to break the engagement. Really interested to see where you go with this!
| Lady Etiquette chapter 2 . 8/3/2012
Interesting premise, and your scene of Mary giving up her son and "handing" him over to Matthew and Lavinia was incredibly touching. **sniff, sniff**
| yamada-shiya chapter 1 . 8/3/2012
haha this is a like a Mary/Matthew version of that scene in The Duchess. But I'm curious where you're going with this story because this isn't a oneshot. I hope Mary and William reunite. :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/3/2012
Next chapter please *-*