|Reviews for 4) Broken Heart, Broken Mind|
| Mahler Avatar chapter 6 . 9/13/2013
So our dear Dr. Carter misses getting his head taken right off by Ron's MMP, before he finally wises up and leaves to do his rounds. Good choice, Doc.
3) It's not normally that big of a deal, unless of course you're operating heavy equipment or getting ready to pull the ripcord on a low altitude jump.
2) Before he could even try to pick up the phone again, a trio of voices coming from behind Ann sang out in a very threatening tone, "Just try it."
1) Then they heard something that they didn't really want to hear. The sound of water splashing against the floor ... "Shego. Your water just broke, didn't it?" [The 'Stating the Obvious Award' is awarded to Mrs. Dr. P]
Now let's hope Ron's unspoken plan works before the fire department gets there...
| Mahler Avatar chapter 5 . 9/13/2013
Wade is successful in at least stabilizing Kim and theorizes that someone's trying to take out all of Team Possible in one fell swoop. Kim comes to and seems to be herself at first but quickly regresses, and Dr. Carter is unable to see what's really going on since he has his head so far up his ass. And calling the police on Ron based on Kim's psychotic ramblings? I'm really beginning to hate that guy, and I hope once this is all over, Ann files a ferocious malpractice suit against that jerk. But what will become of Ron in the meantime?
| Mahler Avatar chapter 4 . 9/13/2013
Ah! We discover the identity of Ron's mysterious benefactor. Very nice opening slice of life scene for Drew and Shego as they prepare for the arrival of their first child. And Wade attempts to cancel the frightening post-hypnotic commands that Kim has been receiving. But one quibble: I can understand Mrs. Stoppable's anger (and everyone else's as well), but I just can't see her dropping an F bomb under any circumstances. But maybe we can blame that on a spillover affect from Kim's possesed computer... On to the next chapter.
| Sammyboy94 chapter 23 . 8/1/2013
Again I am very impressed, the first two chapters were downers but they set the story up well, you also mentioned doing a separate story about the wedding, have you written it yet, if so what is the title, if not ill Beta read it for you if you want.
| Sammyboy94 chapter 16 . 7/31/2013
If any DeLoreans are damaged in the following chapters I will be very unhappy, that happens to number 3 on my dream car list and is very dear to me.
| Sammyboy94 chapter 11 . 7/31/2013
the only critique I saw was when Kim, Ron, wade, and drew we're talking about how angry they were you used 'pissed off' one time too many. I would try rephrasing wades 'pissed off' remark to a form of agreement with Kim and Ron rather then just repeating what they already said. Drew's response was perfect however it totally fitted his character.
| Sammyboy94 chapter 9 . 7/31/2013
My favorite color is blue
| Sammyboy94 chapter 7 . 7/31/2013
Is it motor Ed?
| Sammyboy94 chapter 5 . 7/31/2013
That's all I can say
| Sammyboy94 chapter 2 . 7/31/2013
getting better glad I stuck with it
| Sammyboy94 chapter 1 . 7/31/2013
Not likening it so far,
Kind of depressing but ill give it a chance
| Guest chapter 9 . 2/25/2013
This is actually really good most of the people who do these are terrible. They have awful grammar, there not descriptive enough, they don't transition well or when the characters talks they always have she said or he said after it. Just overall don't know how to tell a story but this is actually like a real book. You are actually able to put a clear picture of whats happening in my head thats how descriptive you are. You should write a normal book with characters of your own so you could actually get credit and stuff
| Shinzochi chapter 24 . 1/15/2013
i liked what u did with this story, it was just as great as monkeys tail and i am looking forward to the next arcs
| ajw1970 chapter 24 . 1/14/2013
ok one plot hole you forgot about. Kim has got MMP now to right. How can GJ trust her when they wont trust Ron? And what would happen if Ron got into trouble and she went full monkey?
food for thought
oh and i like how one of the be-be's survived
| temporaryinsanity91 chapter 24 . 12/1/2012
well arent you a tease.
so does this mean there's a sequel?