|Reviews for The Rise of Overlord Vulcan!|
| BloodDragon3012 chapter 4 . 4/8/2014
| BloodDragon3012 chapter 3 . 4/8/2014
Great ideas so far laughed quite a few times, this story is growing on me.
| BloodDragon3012 chapter 2 . 4/8/2014
So far pretty good, got me hooked enough to read it. Keep it that way, not a lot impress me maybe you will.
| EverfreeSparkle chapter 7 . 4/7/2014
Of course... Albus and What's-his-name-starts-with-G dark Lord from the 40's were lovers and Albus wants to rule the wizard word while thing muffles are ruining everything AND he thinks of Harry as a pawn... You couldn't make this more chliché if you tried (please don't try to make it more though).
| EverfreeSparkle chapter 6 . 4/7/2014
When you said underage you weren't kidding! 10 or 11 I can understand somewhat, but 6? Not that I am judging (god knows I have even read plenty a story with under aged sex) sense It is fiction anyways. Oh, and you write pretty decent smut!
| EverfreeSparkle chapter 5 . 4/7/2014
I chuckled at the nudist part and the rest was ok, but some parts were pretty cliché in a way that is obviously put in as the result of spur of the moment thoughts.
| EverfreeSparkle chapter 4 . 4/7/2014
I think you don't focus enough on the important parts of the story. Such as Harry learning how to control his magic, conecting with his familiar, and his initial reactions with his friends. You are all over the place and skip around in a way that doesn't really feel satisfying. I'll keep reading to see if it get more detailed/interesting/real and not feel blank like it does atm. It might just be that my standards for stories have increased from all the reading I do, but oh well.
| EverfreeSparkle chapter 2 . 4/6/2014
This chapter was very VERY meta. It had so many clichès that I don't even know where to begin. Not that I don't like it so far, I do, but it could do with alittle more originality and less OP stuff Convienently in place for Harry.
| Mr Norrell chapter 6 . 4/2/2014
While I've never read your original version of Vulcan, I have to agree with The-Rogue-Otaku's review from Dec 2012 and go further to say that this story goes through some drastic shifts in direction. First it revolved around Harry pulling a few random new powers out of some comics and trying to figure out how to make them work before swinging to "let's abandon all of that development and show Harry as a popular and social guy." Now, during the summer, it's swung back to him and Mel pulling powers out of every series under the sun only to (I assume) swing back to him being Mr Popular again once school starts.
And all of this comes at the expense of character. As soon as Harry meets a surrogate imaginary-sister fill-in the reason why he meets her in the first place (Hermione and her family) is forgotten except for plot convenience. As soon as he has an Elemental fuck buddy Hermione becomes a virtual nonentity. And what about Aneira? One mention of how the bond's supposed to form just prior to their trip to France and -poof!- she's gone, and never mentioned again.
There's simply too much being piled up on top of each other. A few of these tricks, developed early, and gradually improved upon over time (like how you did Harry's fire powers in the early chapters) already make for an interesting story. But to grossly expand upon it at every opportunity is just too much for the story to hold.
Like The-Rogue-Otaku said, focus on the people.
| Mr Norrell chapter 5 . 4/1/2014
Ah, so I was right about the Overlord plot going off track. Looks like you made Melody as a Lucy clone.
| Mr Norrell chapter 4 . 4/1/2014
With as much build up as Harry's powers have had, in the first chapter alone, I was surprised that he didn't use them to fly down the trap door rather than falling onto the Devil's Snare or to use them to free people once they'd been trapped by it. He also didn't use his flying to grab the key after grousing about how much more you'd be able to do without having to bother with a broom. Also, by cutting out Harry's involvement in Quidditch you also removed the "Snape's a bad guy" build up and the "stuttering Quirrell's the only thing left protecting the Stone" fake-out with nothing to replace them with other than a manipulative Dumbledore.
It seems as though "Vulcan" was initially set up to be a Super!Harry story (the way you set him up, there was no reason Harry would've needed anyone with him to get the Stone), only to get off track once you had him go to Hogwarts and make friends. It no longer seemed that he was hiding his powers but rather that they just disappeared, even from his own mind, when they weren't important. Aneira was the same way. Why bother having the powers or the familiar if they weren't important?
| Mr Norrell chapter 3 . 4/1/2014
An interesting take on Harry's childhood. An intelligent, shadowy, loner-ish Harry that's already worked out several tricks before entering Hogwarts is an interesting thing to see. The imaginary sister, while giving him a eerily insane vibe, actually worked pretty well... even if she was introduced along with the fact that he was having sex with a no longer imaginary her. Weird. Several elements felt very forced: the familiar, the wand, minions, the Overlord thing, but I've read worse so I was willing to give it a shot.
While the Harry/Ron friendship is a rather bad fit, the Harry/Hermione one was initially even more of a bad fit. The Harry you've developed would've had no reason or interest in putting up with either one of them unless he was looking for human minions. I know if you're keeping close to canon events then it's necessary to have them around, so again, I allowed more time to see where you were going with it.
I liked how you had Hermione be the bossy know-it-all she was in the first book and how you chose to take on all those annoying aspects as you've gradually developed her out of them. The change to the Troll scene was a good one, particularly liked how you portrayed the concussion. Having experienced one before I can say it was pretty accurate.
Wanting to slaughter people so as not to be disturbed for "this kind of cheer" is something I can relate to. Oh, how I hate the sound of children playing when I'm trying to sleep. Looking forward to see how the rest of it goes.
| Saligia666 chapter 17 . 3/10/2014
I think your storry is fucking awsome and I cant wait till the next chapter.
This remake is way better than the old.
In regard of jutsus I dont have a jutsu but a bloodline Harry cood use:
The EMS (Eternal Mangecyu Sharingan) dont know if spelled rigth
It could awaken with his dragonslayer powers ore because of an ritual that deals with improofed vision.
I think the Sharingan is right because the genjutsuability can power his mmind trick and Legimency and make them faster and easier to cast.
With the coppying abillity he can coppy wand movements and spells (but not wandless casts)
Tsucojomi could be an advanced mind tric lice the genjutsu used on th ejinchurriki of the sanbii to start the bloodline purge
Amaterasu can be a combination of fire and shadow manipulation (because of the bllack collor)
and Susanoo can be the higerst peaak of fire manipulation (solid flames) if jou use it at all
I wouldnt recomment KAmui because that would be too mutsch overkill
Wenever you use my Idea ore nor I would like to hear your oppinion and hope you have lots of fun writing your storrys.
| HarryHermioneEdwardBella chapter 1 . 2/26/2014
| VoldLunaMione chapter 17 . 2/23/2014
... Sorry for the shit review, I'm horrible at this