|Reviews for What's In A House?|
| A regrettable decision chapter 1 . 4/8
This is going to sound so British, but what the hell are bangs? I assume they have something to do with hair, is it like a fringe?
Apart from that, I actually really enoyed it, something I wasn't expecting to happen, so kudos.
| CeffylGwyn chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
Hmmmmmm I really think this has a lot of potential. I've recently fallen back in love with a number of 'lesser' Harry Potter characters so to speak; especially Seamus (gotta love the Irish) and Dean; but also the Oliver Wood/Katie Bell pairing...oddly enough.
Anyway, back to the point - I think you've really touched on one of the hidden meanings behind the Harry Potter series and that is why I like this so much. 'What's in a house?' an excellent title and a very thought provoking one at that. I think I remember J.K. Rowling talking about it once - the housing being a silent statement that everyone had qualities in them from the different houses.
One thing I really would like to see is more of an indication of the way Seamus speaks. His voice is really what helps to define his character and Devon Murray really has a very thick Irish brogue when he speaks. You're dialogue is quite good, I'd just like to be able to 'hear' it through the writing.
So instead of:
"I don't know. I just came. Maybe to remember. Maybe to forget. Does that really matter? Anyway, the Carrows haven't caught me yet, so only little escapade to the ole Common Room couldn't hurt."
"I don' know. I jus' came. Maybe teh remember. Maybe teh forget. Does tha' really matter? Anyway, the Carrows haven' caught me yet, so one little escapade teh the ole Common Room couldn' hurt."
It's only a small thing, and you may choose not to do it, but I thought I'd suggest it all the same.
Great Chapter! Can't wait for more! :)
| stanzaic chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
Yo! I am in an editing mood, so here we go!
I liked how you portrayed Seamus as more thoughtful as opposed to a total jock, and you hinted at some complex characteristics in Daelah. However, you also kept Seamus at the same level as opposed to delving deeper into him and learning something more about his character, if you know what I mean. :) Other than that, there were general spelling and punctuation errors, but everything else was pretty darn good!
Except I might have to disagree with Seamus' conclusion at the end there...I don't know. Deep question, courage.