|Reviews for Phylactery|
| Mr.Green37 chapter 35 . 4/9
Oh m... when this is over, Lust will have several kids, am I right?
| Mr.Green37 chapter 29 . 4/9
I like how Sloth has his own little focus here. The guy may be a dumbass out of choice, but he is definitely one of the lesser ones in the evil department.
| Greed Sennen chapter 35 . 4/3
I actually started your fanfiction yesterday, and I've already reached your most recent update. Wow.
But your writing has gotten me hooked so deeply, that I've only ever gotten with one or two other fanfiction. I hope you don't abandon this, though I know you have things on your plate. After all, I'm a fine example that you're still attracting readers. I was hooked on the new games myself, and ironically, Durarara! x2 Shou.
In general, all of the chapters I've read so far are too good for words. I love the character development you've given to all the homunculi for one thing. As my penname obviously suggests, I'm a big fan of Greed, particularly the second. So when I first started this, one of the things that attracted my attention was that this was Post!Brotherhood, and when you brought back Greed, you gave him Ling's form. Since that's kind of rare for fanfiction, that made me beyond happy.
Another thing I love, is your ability to juggle so many characters, and keep them all IC that sometimes, I wonder if you might be Hiromu herself in disguise. And most people underestimate both Sloth and Gluttony, so it is a real talent and something I applaud you for that you've made them as complex as their siblings, without making them OOC. I also like that you emphasize the rivalry between Envy and Greed, since I've always liked that particular running gag.
Also, on the topic of Greed and Envy, I realize that you have often made Envy pick on Greed about Ling. Two things to that, is that I've always been a supporter of Greed liking both sides of the coin, and that my OTP is GreedxLing. I don't even care if it could be considered selfcest.
Now, don't get me wrong. I can enjoy a fanfiction without Shonen-Ai, but I keep fangirling every time Envy picks on Greed about it, or Greed thinks about Xing. Don't change your idea if it wasn't your intention, because not everybody likes BL but sometimes, I keep fantasizing that it's more than implied. Anyway, I'm rambling, so let me stop going on about that.
I understand that you have a life, and I respect that. And another is that others complain about this being slow paced. I myself, am conflicted. I love myself a long read, since I burn through even the thickest series and over time, that prevents me from prolonging the deliciousness of a good read. I also like this time spent with simply having the homunculi do things, like Lust experiencing her period, Selim still having a bit of his sin, and Greed coming across the Devil's Nest. At the same time, I'm on the edge of my seat and want the plot to continue, just because for reasons above I'm salivating over the possibility of Greed and Ling reuniting. Dante's appearance has also attracted my attention, since I've watched both series. I like how you've started to unfold her story and keep it so melded with Brotherhood, because I've always been the 'Books over Movies' type if you get what I mean.
If you want, you could consider these suggestions or simply predictions, for the future of these stories. If you like any of these ideas if they aren't predictions and they stir your creative juices, you don't even have to credit me. I don't want it because the most fulfilling thing for me will be seeing this story continue to unfold, even if you take years and thousands of chapters. You have caught me like a leech, and I intend to check on this story loyally as long as it takes for a while yet. (I followed a story that wasn't updated for six years, but because I kept checking even though the chances were non-existent, my wait was rewarded because they updated last month.)
Anyway, to the suggestions.
If I recall, Greed was told by Alphonse to wait two months, and if he couldn't find out anything by then, he could try on his own. With Greed being the way he is, he'd certainly try as soon as those two months were up. If plot doesn't occur already, something worse could happen with the trains, and Al could say he could think of nothing, and that could upset Greed into thinking irrationally. He could steal the Elrics' car again, as well as money and try to manage on his own despite best advice to find his way to the desert, and attempt to find a smuggler or the route Ling took originally.
Like how Envy had a nightmare, what if the next homunculus to have one could be Greed? When those two months start to reach their end, Greed begins to have his own nightmares involving Ling, such as Ling struggling with what's going on, or being upset not having Greed 'alive'. They could be prophetic, or if you're not into that type of thing they could be worry over his friend manifesting itself into dreams and causing tension, lack of sleep and further stress during his waking hours that could cause him to butt heads with Envy more frequently and/or building to the idea above, which could explain Greed forgetting very important advice.
Or, Lust could accept that offer she got for modelling, with Envy's help. But it doesn't go over Mustang's head back in the East, or on a hunch, he could try going to the south, in Dublith. Maybe to give Ms Bradley a courtesy call himself. You did say she got those occasionally, and another reason is that maybe the things happening in Ishval lead Mustang to trying to go to Ms Bradley for the ulterior motive of seeing if he can catch the Elrics, and asking for help. Ed might not do alchemy anymore, but technically to the eyes of the public he's still the Hero of The People and without realizing it, he's capable of a lot of political sway. Alphonse's connection to Xing is also incredibly helpful, when you think about it. Not to mention, if a lot of destruction went on his alchemy would be helpful as well, and he could heal with Alkahestry. All of this could very well get the homunculi caught, and stir up the plot. Not to mention the drama that could occur between Lust, Envy and Mustang. All of this could also trigger Greed to leave, or it might even be thanks to Roy's influence he could make it to Xing. After all, Mustang's group isn't a stranger to being tight-lipped, pulling strings and using false identities.
All that's as far as I could stir up my own inner writer at two in the morning. I don't post fanfiction myself but I'm very familiar to writing thick plots involving the Brotherhood universe. If you ever get interested in this, like I said, don't worry about crediting me. I don't need it. But if you ever want help, or are just interested, we could always attempt contact. I'm here a lot. Sorry for the insanely extensive review though, I'm a very wordy person. I hope that Spring goes well for you.
| Greed Sennen chapter 18 . 4/2
I know that it's kinda late for reviews, since this is a much earlier chapter, but I'd like to say a few things.
This is by far, one of only three Fullmetal Alchemist fanfictions I've read that I've ever loved this much. The way you spin your tales is unbelievably detailed. You juggle more characters then I, a writer myself though I don't post has ever managed, and never make them out of character. In fact, your characterization is so accurate, I'd dare to say you may be Hiromu herself in disguise. Out of the homunculi, Greed has always been my favorite, preferably his second form. But since this is rare, and in anything remotely similar to fanfiction involving the homunculi returning, people usually give him his first form. I'm practically in love with what you've done with him, and all of the other characters in general. Your dialogue is also, spot on. You never make them say anything I can't see them doing.
Not only all of that, but you have another rare talent. Giving Sloth and Gluttony purpose. Because of the way they both appear, they can be really hard to work with, but I love what you have managed with both of them, making them just as important as everyone else.
I love fanfiction like this, since I've always fancied the homunculi as a dysfunctional family myself. And another thing. In one of the earlier chapters, I enjoyed the coloring scene. I liked the detail you gave Sloth, about his brain being wired differently. That, and Envy's insulting drawing to Greed? I'm a heavy Greed and Ling shipper, it's my OTP so I inwardly fangirled when I heard Envy say 'boyfriend'. After all, if Greed wants everything, why not both sides of the coin?
Something I noticed however, was the fact you said that that short bit between Greed and Envy when they met didn't occur. You said you watched the sub, and I've watched both the dub and the sub. If I recall correctly, that bit did occur, in exactly the way you're quoting. But I could be wrong. It's five in the morning where I live so I could very well be wrong.
| Lord Nitro chapter 33 . 3/17
I'm curious. When Lust asked if Ed would leave her behind. He says earlier that it's five minutes. Then Ed says after she asks, "For you, it's four minutes." Then Lust thinks that Winry didn't do a good job at 'training' him. I do not understand
| Lord Nitro chapter 31 . 3/17
Oh my. Yes, this is GREAT
| Lord Nitro chapter 15 . 3/15
I'd like to see Sloth be less...abesent. Envy I'd like to chill out and be more, 'happy'. Lust, well I'd like her to become 'friends' with Lily or something.
| Lord Nitro chapter 11 . 3/15
I sense some Leed in here. IDK why. But I just do.
| RobinNightingale chapter 9 . 3/14
I don't know if you're still taking requests for stories, and I don't know if this idea has been requested already, but if not, I realized I'd actually really like to see Envy enjoying something sweet - chocolate, ice cream, whatever. I just think it would be a very enjoyable scene. He could get caught in the act and become embarrassed, or be given it as a gift and not care what others think, or something else, but I think it'd be nice to see Envy's reputable sweet tooth.
| Dragonfire Alchemist chapter 35 . 2/19
Ah, thank you so much for writing this chapter! I know I'm a bit late on reviewing, but.. Well, my email decided to stop updating me with news of updated fanfictions.
I really liked this chapter (as I like them all), and, once again, am stunned by how beautifully you write. As a side note, at the mentions of Lust's crabbiness and stomach pain, I found myself laughing because, as fate would have it, I started my period last night and it's been absolute hell for me. Poor Lust, I can imagine she didn't take too well to seeing all that blood! Not to mention the pain. (Apologies for that brief digression)
Good luck with work! We'll all be rooting for you! Keep writing as amazingly as you always do ;)
| koliri chapter 35 . 2/8
A new chapter! I'm not going to say I cried tears of joy, but I was happy to read it!
I really like the way you write the relations between the homunculi, by small touches like Sloth approving of her sister sitting near him (and speaking of Sloth, the music part is also a nice little touch of character developement; it's great that you never forget him even when he doesn't have a lot of interaction with his siblings) or by transcribing how close Envy and Lust can be. As the chapter was from Lust's point of view, it was interesting to see Envy's reactions through her eyes; even if she doesn't know what he thinks, she's still quite good at reading him. (As for me, I would like to know what he thought exactly at the end of their conversation with Mrs. Bradley, but I guess it'll come in a future chapter?)
I also like Envy's allusion to their 'plan' during this conversation, because even if he was acting nice in this chapter he still thinks about it, and it made Lust feel some respect for him and- well I like when his brain is working!
Now for Mrs. Bradley. It was so cute that Envy gave her space to sit with them, their relation improved so much lately! And the fact that Envy realized that she might be jealous of Lust is one more connection between them. It's so sweet to read!
And Mrs. Bradley isn't afraid of them anymore, look at her standing up to Lust! You write her very well. I haven't thought of it, but Lust's period is indeed a good occasion for Mrs. Bradley to get closer to her. It's a start!
I enjoyed reading this chapter. I wish you good luck with the redaction of the next one, your work and your pokémon training!
| Veltzeh chapter 35 . 1/30
Yay, new chapter! I like the explanations of Sloth's interest and Ed's automail.
Ooh, Envy finally seems to warm up to Ms. Bradley a little. Bonding by plot, heh! The discussion between the three is really in-depth and flows well. It doesn't solve the issue of whether Envy managed to get Lust to change her mind, but that's not really needed or anything since it can be solved later.
"...seeing a button and completely unable to resist pushing it" – This is awesome imagery! XD It's really simple but also perfect.
Aaaaand they again drop big hints about their non-humanity and such. Maybe it's because it's been a while, but I don't any longer remember how much Ms. Bradley knows these days. Maybe it's not too important for us to know, but I would be interested in a chapter from her point of view where she lists the things she knows. But maybe that would work better toward the end of the story?
Hmm, I happened to think that while it's pretty obvious that Lust wouldn't know about periods because she's pretty much always been around men, Envy more likely would know since he could've really easily overheard women talking about it or seen it in a biology book. Of course Envy would probably categorise it as "gross human things" and mostly forget about it, but wouldn't be surprised to encounter it. Then again, there's no reason for Envy to encounter periods anyway... I'm overthinking again. Braining is good today.
One ambiguous thing I found is this: "...she found herself more amused and grateful than anything else" where it's rather unclear who "she" refers to. I'm pretty sure it's Lust, but I think the grammatical interpretation would be Ms. Bradley. But if it really is Bradley, then it would be clearer if you switched "Lily" and "she", I think.
| Akiss chapter 35 . 1/28
Loved this chaper! And yes it has been awhile... XD
| Ice Maiden Olivier chapter 35 . 1/28
*FANGIRL SQUEALS* "YOUR ALIVEEEE!" :D
Okay, enough with the caps xD seriously so pleased to see you have updated this, though do understand how others things can take priority (which reminds me I really ought to finish off mine)... either way though onto the review:
"Nice to see it's still on fine form after six months, really missed this, and glad someone decided to explore the whole homunculi fertility thing... and as far as Lust goes, I do feel very sorry for her, (as it's never fun) though love how maternal Lily is with her :) seriously! girl power all the way :p
keep up the awesome work!
| iAnneart chapter 35 . 1/27
Glad you didn't skim over the part that Lust is a human woman and as a woman we get a timely visit from Aunt Flo each month. I am guessing Lust still hasn't made the connection she's actually not sterile anymore, and Lily's probably going to have to let her know of the fact as well. I was very surprised at Envy's friendly demeanor to Lily, but I have a feeling he won't be that nice in the coming update. Well, I'll just have to wait and see.