|Reviews for A Simple Man|
| anglekitten chapter 1 . 12/12/2014
you should do a mpreg on Steve and tony
| anglekitten chapter 19 . 12/12/2014
i loved it!
| RobPatzLuvr chapter 19 . 12/2/2014
KJNDLSNDLNBABFV I LOVED THIS!
| Trying to help chapter 19 . 10/28/2014
Sorry, my first review was posted incomplete by accident, so I'm going to try to keep it short and sweet here.
Here are the positives: I genuinely enjoyed this story, particularly the first five chapters or so. You had a very strong grasp on just who Steve and Tony were, on their dynamic, their individual voices, and so on. And the same is true for Bucky, Thor, and Loki, later on. I'd particularly like to praise your version of Loki, he was funny, but never a caricature, imperfect, but highly likeable, and SO much fun to read. A very believable character. Also, the "adult" bits were very well written. You managed to capture the hungry teenage essence VERY well, and definitely deserve commendation for that.
Now here are my criticisms, and I feel comfortable sharing these with you so bluntly because you've received such praise from other reviewers up to this point, so please, hear out what I have to say. While the story on a whole felt decently cohesive, the chapters before the time skip, and the chapters after, feel like two different stories. Everything was different, to the point where most archive warnings for the first six chapters would not apply to the last thirteen, and the same in reverse. The whole tone, mood, and point of the story completely changed, and while that may be what you were going for (the whole "growing up" thing, and whatnot), that's a very, very, hard thing to do, because then you get readers like me, who vastly preferred the first half, and find themselves feeling out of place with the second, and you get people who would like the second, but don't get to it because the first doesn't interest them. It's about consistency, and telling one cohesive story, as opposed to one story with rapidly changing tones. Or, telling a story with naturally evolving tones, but in adding a time skip, you've cut every second of the evolution from one thing to another. We pick up eight years later, and it's just a whole new monster. Also, I felt like your characterization of Bruce, Pepper, and Stane, where all a bit lacking. Bruce just may not have gotten enough page time, but I found his dealings with Tony at Stark Enterprises to be lacking in comparison with his earliest and latest appearances in the story. They didn't quite have his charm. And Pepper was only very briefly in the story, so that doesn't much matter, but Stane felt very concrete blockish. He was bad because he was bad, and that seemed to be the end of it. There was never any depth to him, and when you guys wrote in the moment to really explore that, Tony decided that even he didn't want to know. The problem is, your audience did. Or, at least, would have appreciated it. He's arguably the third most important character in the story, he deserves a little depth.
And now, this is where this turns from a review, into a social lesson. Please, keep in mind that I am saying this to educate and inform you, and am not at all angry, offended, or upset.
You guys have a very tenuous grasp on what rape is.
Rape is the act of compelling a person to have sexual intercourse against their will. A form of rape, commonly referred to as "date rape," frequently (although not always) involves the use of alcohol or drugs to "loosen" the victim up.
By that definition, by the legal definitions of rape, and of date rape, Tony raped Steve.
Which is fine, if that's what you want your story to be.
Steve handles the situation well. He is reasonably angry with Tony, and rightfully so. He was violated against his will. He didn't want to actually have sex with Tony, and had Tony not gotten him drunk first, Steve never would have consented to that. Tony violated him without his permission, and Steve recognizes that as wrong.
However, Steve grows up, and blames himself for ruining their relationship by "over reacting" to something he deems trivial. This, however, was not trivial. This was rape. Actual, legally defined, rape. And Steve is now blaming himself for the outcome of the situation, despite the fact he is the victim.
But even that's okay, if that's the story you're trying to tell. But it's not. And it's not, because Tony doesn't even accept it for what it is. Not when it happens, not eight years later, never. He even goes so far as to allow Steve to apologize for the way he reacted to his own rape.
I keep emphasizing that these things are okay if that is the story you're trying to tell, because there is a market for stories like that, about abusers and their victims in relationships like that, but that's not what this was. If it was, Tony could never have killed Obadiah. These things aren't coming from an artistic choice, they're coming from a lack of understanding.
And this shows its head again when Steve is in prison. It is very offhandedly revealed to the reader that Steve's cell mate had attempted to rape him several times, and that Steve had barely fought his way out of committing "the cheating act". That's your quote, not mine.
Rape is not cheating.
Rape is the unwilling violation of one human being by another.
That was the moment in the story where it really clicked for me, that you guys weren't telling a story about a victim, and that you guys just simply didn't understand what constituted rape, or what rape even was, for that matter.
I hope I've brought your attention to the situation, and made you adequately curious enough to educate yourself on the subject. Please, you need to understand just why the behaviours exhibited in your story are not okay.
You don't need to change the story, feel guilty about anything, or do anything, you just need to understand that those behaviours are not okay.
| Guest chapter 19 . 10/28/2014
I just finished reading this story, and felt unusually compelled to give you guys some feedback. Let me start by saying I did thoroughly enjoy this story, particularly the first five chapters or so. You had a very strong grasp on both characters throughout the story, and on their dynamic, and on the where you wanted the whole thing to go. Your humour, particularly with Thor, Loki, and Bucky, was very strong, aNow, critically speaking, I have to admit, the turn around from screaming at each other to being friendly felt a bit rushed, and the events after the time skip felt almost entirely like a different story. The tone, themes, direction, and maturity level all changed drastically, which may be what you were going for, but was a touch jarring for me.
Now, here's where this goes from a good natured review of a story I actually, genuinely, enjoyed, and was invested in, to a social lesson.
| jadyjady123 chapter 19 . 9/11/2014
This has been on my mind forever, I just had to read it again. And now I'm sad and happy at the same time all over again. I love it, and I don't think I would be lying if I said it was the best thing I ever read. You guys should definitely keep writing stuff.
| jadyjady123 chapter 19 . 7/15/2014
This is amazing. But the spelling errors bug me :)
| MalecxObsession chapter 1 . 11/2/2013
Ha you gotta love Tony's arrogance. Lovely chapter by the way. I FEEL LIKE A HERO AND YOU ARE MY HEROINE!*runs away singing*
| The Lady J chapter 19 . 2/22/2013
This was a great story. I really enjoyed reading it.
| Izzy848 chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
Hey! Playing Skyrim does not make you a nerd! But I did laugh like hell when I read it. ;)
| Les Folles Rieuses chapter 19 . 12/17/2012
Hooo ! That's the end ?
I enjoyed your story ! It was fantastic )
| Les Folles Rieuses chapter 17 . 12/15/2012
Still like it ! That was amazing ! I knew Tony can't let his boyfriend without doing something xD ! I'm glad Steve is out D !
I hope the thing will be okay *I have actually not doubt about that*
Love your work.
| Les Folles Rieuses chapter 15 . 12/15/2012
So much pressure :o ! I like it ! But if Steve did it to protect Tony so it's good, no ? He can't go to the prison for protect someone ! xD ! And he can't go to the prison at all ! He's too perfect ! Too cute and too him !
And I have to go and I can't read the next HAAAAAAAAAA ! The suspens will kill me xD Literally !
Love your work D
| Les Folles Rieuses chapter 12 . 12/14/2012
Oooh ! I cannot stop to read until now xD ! The next is better than the first chapter :o ! I swear I love it ! Poor, poor Tony ! (why I like it when he is in pain ? O_o)
And I was so frustrated by the way Steve acted ! I wanted to kick his sorry ass ! I was guessing that he didn't like what Tony did but I never imagined that he'll break with him ! Too silly ! But I hope they'll make it up D
It's time for me to go to sleep (It's 1 am x_x) but I think the first thing I do when I wake up is read the next xD !
| Les Folles Rieuses chapter 6 . 12/14/2012
Your story is awesome.
Tony and Steve are cute and I like their relationship.
But I guess that Steve will not like what they did :/... I'm actually pretty sure he'll get angry with Tony xD -What the shame I have not the time to read now -_-')
But details. I was a little suprised. I'm Belgian and I think you have false ideas about Europe : legal drinking age in Paris is 18. (But in Belgium you can drink alcohol in 16 and other countries but I don't think you want to know :p). The only thing that in France the parents can allow to their children to drink. And in Paris they ride in the right side (also in the other countries except England, Scotland, Ireland...)
Well, not so important ! I like your story D ! I'll read the next chapter tomorrow and tonight if I have time !
Ps : I'm sorry if I did mistakes, English is a little hard to write to me xD.