Reviews for Killer Angels
Ragnarok666 chapter 6 . 3/2/2013
I'm glad to see you've returned. I'm still holing up my end and reviewing your chapters if you'd review mine.

Overall this chapter proves the distrust is still abundant for Kerrigan, nothing really new, hope to see how that'll eventually turn out.
Ragnarok666 chapter 5 . 11/7/2012
Minor fighting in this chapter. It's nothing new, though it doesn't really advance the storyline of what's happening.

Overall, I'm hoping your next chapter will develop the plot and all that. I'm curious as to what Mengsk is thinking when the invasion began, and if he has a plan to deal with it or not.
izwan chapter 5 . 11/7/2012
Superb battlefield details I give you that.
Know what I like about chapter 4?
Details aside, it did gave a little bit of overview on the way your story is heading, though not much.
Sadly, that was lacking in the current chapter.

Since your update speed is a bit lacking, you may want to consider that.
Lay Down Hunter chapter 1 . 10/17/2012
Brilliant! And Ozzy's a lucky bastard
izwan chapter 4 . 10/16/2012
So Kerrigan and Raynor were drifting apart huh?
Actually that was exactly what I suspected after seeing the HoTS trailer.
The different was that it was Raynor who truly hope that both of them would be together, not Kerrigan.
I don't really think Kerrigan would give a damn about her relationship with Raynor.
But its just my initial theory anyway.
Things could change with the upcoming SC2 novel and HoTS expansion pack.
Ragnarok666 chapter 4 . 10/16/2012
See this is the problem, I'm unsure how exactly Kerrigan will make peace with the Protoss at all. Despite the prophecy and all that, I don't think it really means all that much to the Protoss. Assuming they even accept it, all that translate down to is the fact that for the time being, their hands are tied. Once Kerrigan has done her part, things will get hostile again.

Don't forget, the Protoss have only known of her after she became the Queen of Blades. The only Protoss who has known her before that is Tassadar. Even Zeratul finds it extremely difficult to believe Raynor's words that despite the infestation, there's still good in Kerrigan.

Makes me wonder how things will play out for her.

Now, with regards to your A/N, I'm glad you remembered what I asked of you. No offense, but to me, this "extremely busy" part only holds weight when it comes to WRITING chapters, not READING them. The former can take a while to brainstorm ideas, the latter does not.

I know school is busy for you, I don't doubt that, but it can't be so demanding to the point where you can't even pull like 30 min out in a day for that reading. If it got THAT demanding, they would essentially expect you to function without sleep indefinitely.

Anyways, I'm glad you still remembered about reading mine. I'll still be waiting for it...
izwan chapter 2 . 8/30/2012
OK Kerrigan's trying to revive Overmind and waging media campaign against Mengsk?
Wonder why she wanted to be a slave once again?
And which network would be brave and stupid enough to interview her?
BillyDeeWilliams chapter 3 . 8/29/2012
I can see, from the previous comments, that I may have been too subtle in dropping my hints, so I'll explain a little. In chapter two, it's revealed that the zerg invading Korhal are not Kerrigan's, and that they're in the middle of a civil war. Thus, to justify an invasion of an extremely heavily fortified human world in the middle of such a civil war, there must be something on Korhal that could tip the balance of the civil war and make up for whatever losses the Zerg incur during the invasion.

Also, Kerrigan's on Aiur, trying to revive the Overmind. Why would she do that? Remember that the Overmind's vision, that Zeratul encoded into the crystal, in game, he received through Tassadar. After the events of Brood War, I'd say Kerrigan has good reason not to trust Tassadar, which could only mean that she's on Aiur trying to get the vision and other confirmation of her role straight from the source.

In the third chapter, we meet Tosh and Zeratul (conversing at the end). Now, we know, from the game, that Tosh is really only interested in killing Mengsk. We also know that Zeratul's goal is to destroy the hybrids and save the universe from the Dark Voice. Then Tosh mentions, in chapter 3, that the hybrids and Mengsk are now a package. We also know that the Dominion created a hybrid on Castanar, in the game. Thus, if Zeratul's after the hybrids (and the means of their creation, cf. end of Brood War) and Tosh is after Mengsk, and both are on Korhal in pursuit of their objectives (now inextricably linked), that could only mean about four different things (including the motivation for non-Kerrigan Zerg to be on Korhal, above). One of which is that Mengsk is still on Korhal, despite many good reasons to leave. As to the others, I trust you'll be able to figure them out for yourselves.

Also, Ozzy's dreams are intended to hint at the beginning of his arc. That, at least, was too cryptic. I'll allow you to draw your own conclusions, for now, what about what form that arc might take.

So, if it sounds like I was asking you to read my mind, I apologize. If it still seems like that, I'm happy to post my spoilerrific outline, though I won't be updating with a new chapter for a while.
izwan chapter 3 . 8/29/2012
I'll refrain any comment until I see where you would take this fic to.

Its already 3 chapters and all revolves around battle scenes.

There should now at least be some hint on the path you were taking.
Ragnarok666 chapter 3 . 8/24/2012
Well this one is a bit boring because nothing really happened here other than some fighting. I don't mind the fighting, just that a whole chapter devoted to that is a bit odd...
BillyDeeWilliams chapter 2 . 8/20/2012
Made some edits, hopefully making the soldiers a little less knowledgeable, which I was honestly worried about when I posted this. Removed reference to the artifacts, and the brood mothers. Changed Sykes' analysis of Zerg motives to reflect that whatever they do know is based on whatever intelligence they'd been able to gather, not a lot, or what a human military would, in which he could well be wrong. Removed references to Tarsonis. Added a mention of a media campaign waged by Kerrigan, possibly in conjunction with Raynor.
Ragnarok666 chapter 2 . 8/19/2012
I'm surprised the Dominion generals actually know so much about the Zerg. From the SC universe, all they're supposed to know is the Queen of Blades and that's it.

Plus Dominion propaganda twisted the story as to why Kerrigan was infested in the first place. According to the propaganda, she had allowed the Zerg to infest her in the bid for more power and threatened humanity, and Mengsk only wanted humanity to survive. That was the basis for why the Dominion was formed.

But now, in WoL, it's been proven that the whole Dominion had been founded on a lie.

Your mentioning of the artifacts is also off, the Dominion army knows little about that. Remember, the Dominion military is created from the remains the Confederacy, and most of their soldiers and officers only understand one thing: point and shoot.

In simpler terms, you're making the Dominion soldiers and generals a lot smarter and open minded than they actually are in the SC universe. They should only know about the Zerg invasion, plans to beat them back, and that's it.

This is why I hope next chapter or so you'll switch to Kerrigan's perspective even if she's not going to be the main character of this fic.

Because as far as I'm concerned, the Korhal invasion should probably happen during the last stages of Heart of the Swarm, and Blizzard made it clear that at least some part of Kerrigan is hoping to find redemption in the eyes of others throughout the game.

And personally, I don't expect the Dominion to beat back this invasion. Mengsk has survived long enough, don't expect him to survive this one...
izwan chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
Good battle scene depiction. I donno where u're going to take this but its good.
BillyDeeWilliams chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
Firstly, thanks for the thoughtful review. I do think of Emil Narud and Samir Duran as the same person, or at least as aspects of the same entity. They may not be, in truth, the same person, but they are indelibly linked, and both serve the Dark Voice. As for Valerian, don't worry at all. My Valerian is nothing like Arcturus.

As for the political situation, you do raise a good question. I hadn't thought about how Mengsk had maintained his power, but after considering it somewhat, I think it will either turn out that he spun the victory over Kerrigan and the Zerg to his advantage and has regained the grudging support of most of the core worlds, thought the fringe worlds, in any case, will have declared independence and sought protection from the Dominion with the Umojans or the Kel-Morians (both of whom will feature importantly as well, if only on the macro scale). Or, it may be that Mengsk is not really in control, and that the Dominion has splintered, and that he now maintains rulership of only a few core worlds, while the rest of the worlds either form their own governments or flock to join, again, the Umojan Protectorate or the Kel-Morian Combine, probably much more the former due to its democratic government, as opposed to the Kel-Morian corporatocracy.

As for the invasion of Korhal, you're right, it's not particularly original. I never thought it was, but I didn't realize how staggeringly unoriginal it was until after I started browsing fics earlier today. It may be that the leader of the Zerg attacking Korhal are not under Kerrigan's control, and that Kerrigan is actively working with Raynor. Or it could be that it is her invasion, but that her goal is not to destroy the Dominion (except in the political sense), but simply to kill Mengsk, and, perhaps, to let Raynor or Horner (who may or may not appear, though I think him the most likely character to lead a post-Mengsk Terran Koprulu Sector) take his place. And you're also right that it's not fair to Kerrigan's character to make her relatively unimportant. I'll work on that.
Ragnarok666 chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
Ah, the typical concept of using the Siege Tanks to protect you. That's not going to work anymore in Heart of the Swarm due to the Viper's abduct ability to pull units right towards it (including Thors).

You want to feature Tosh in your fic, that's fine since his choice was the canon one in WoL (though for my fic I chose Nova instead).

It's nice to see Ulrezaj be part of your fic as well, though you'll have to explain how he fits into all this. From the looks of it, it's like you're not making Emil Narud and Samir Duran the same person, which is fine since we don't know if they are or not.

For Valerian, be a little careful with him. Too many people have simply assumed that he's just some cheap carbon copy of his father. He's actually not, if you had read the SC novels and such. Besides, if he turns out the same way as Arcturus does, you might as well just rewind the whole story all the way back to SC1 because nothing has changed in the terran days since the brutal Confederacy. Mengsk brought it down and turned into a brutal tyrant, if Valerian is like that, then it's just one monster for another.

You may also want to explain why Mengsk is still in power after the end of Wings of Liberty given Raynor's broadcasts on Korhal and the whole Dominion public outraged with him and all that. He's an emperor, not a god, he's not all powerful.

Finally, for Kerrigan's invasion of Korhal, that's nothing really new, but you might want to explain what happened to her over the course of Heart of the Swarm. And I really hope you don't do something along the lines of exposure to the artifact did nothing but change her appearance and everything else is still exactly the same, that'd be just wrong. If that happened, the whole of Wings of Liberty would have all been for nothing.

If you want, you can also take some pointers from my fic, if it'll give you any ideas.