Reviews for What She Would Have Given
silver-nightstorm chapter 1 . 9/22/2012
Very nicely done! For my head!canon Narcissa, yours is a bit too pureblood supremacist, but still very well written and understandable. I like her fixation on her older sister, very fitting!
Gamma Orionis chapter 1 . 9/22/2012
Your Narcissa characterization and inner monologue were wonderful. I loved her thoughts about Andromeda and about her own marriage.

My favourite line was:
"While she hadn't many qualms about marrying Lucius (a respectable man, she had gathered from her time in Hogwarts) she would have appreciated a choice, or even just a say in the matter."

Just perfect, really.
AmzyD chapter 1 . 9/22/2012
I love Narcissa, and you've portrayed her very well
the lola chapter 1 . 9/20/2012
This was really good, I loved your Narcissa and how you centred this around the wedding, yet her thoughts were so distracted.
inkteardrops chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
I love reading Black sister fics! This one is certainly great. I love how you speak of her being 'cast out' and the last line is excellent. Great job! :)
autumn midnights chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
I really like the way you've characterized Narcissa here. Her personality does fit with what we see of her in canon, yet you've also given her a certain depth that I really like. I like her thoughts on Andromeda, and how she doesn't understand Andromeda at all. The mention of her leaving the Black family as well, but to join a respectable family, was really interesting and I liked that little detail. Grammar was good, although I did notice a few little things - it's 'Cygnus', not 'Cyrus', and 'mudblood' and 'muggle' should both be capitalized. I like Narcissa/Lucius, and I like that you didn't make him a mean, abusive man, you just said he'd be better if society wasn't there - which does make a lot of sense. The fact that there was no dialogue, and that this was strictly character study, really helped enhance the piece. Cygnus dying early was interesting too, I'd always pictured him being there for his daughters' weddings. Good work!
opaque-girl chapter 1 . 9/15/2012
I liked the idea of Narcissa being the perfect little Black girl, hating mudbloods and muggles with every fibre of her body and yet envying Andromeda for her freedom and the way she had chosen; I don't exactly characterize Narcissa like this but I think it was interesting :)
whatpassesformymind chapter 1 . 9/15/2012
I really liked the way you write Narcissa's thoughts. It seems very realistic, but just one note - Cyrus should be Cygnus, assuming you are referring to Druella's husband.
thefirstservant chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
I like this. :)) It's the kind of story I'd click on on my own accord. :)

I think you did a terrific job. :) I love the Malfoys, and you wrote this out very well. :) I love how Narcissa wants to be free, how she compares herself with Andromeda, and how she wants to make choices herself. :)

Narcissa has always been my favorite Black sister and I think you did a great job by her. :))

Thanks for sharing and keep on writing! :)
Ralinde chapter 1 . 9/12/2012
I love stories about the Black Sisters and think you portrayed Narcissa well. Even though I personally believe they already had strong feelings for one another when they got married, I can also understand why others think it was just another forced Pureblood marriage and that they only started loving each other at a later time.
Overall, it was a nice story. But one remark: words like Pure, Muggle and Mudblood should all be capitalised.
Selenehekate chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Poor Narcissa, feeling distant from her sister. I really like this piece and the way that Narcissa's thoughts have traveled. Great job!
slightlysmall chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
This seems realistic, and I like how she keeps going back to Andromeda's leaving, and wondering what made her leave, then wondering whether or not she could have made that decision for herself. While I like to think that Narcissa and Lucius were more or less happily married, this seems like a plausible way their marriage could have started out, and you do a great job conveying the tearing feeling between her duty as a Black and her desire for freedom and a real love. Narcissa, Druella, and Andy all seemed IC to me. One minor comment is that I think a lot of your commas are unnecessary, but they don't detract much from what's going on. Nice job.
still kat chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
You did a great job writing for Narcissa, the propriety, the 'pureblood thinking', that was very in-character. I liked your description of Andromeda leaving 'with a little spring in her step', because a) she was getting married to someone she loved, b) her family didn't like it and c) just having a spring in her step was probably forbidden in the household. Nice :)
hasfihasifgaoifg chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
This was amazingly well written. I love Narcissa, and you portrayed her brilliantly! YOU GO GIRL.
Forever Siriusly Sirius chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Awww i love seeing in cissys head, :) i love her torn emotions over Andy
20 | Page 1 2 Next »