Reviews for The Marine Who Could Read Thoth
Jfjfkxkvnbjsoqjt chapter 1 . 6/5/2015
Innoxious chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
Army and Marines are not the same thing... and they are not used interchangeably (same goes for "Marine" and "Soldier"). There are other 'procedural' type things that should probably be looked at... Also, it wasn't a spaceship that was made "invisible" it was a prototype nuclear powered fighter plane.
Bastetian chapter 8 . 4/24/2013
I was having a really crappy day and this chapter has just completely turned it around. I love the contrast between the really short, sharp sections that just hit you with more detail oriented parts. Little things like the rabbits being the only ones to witness it and Shane doubting himself because of what happened with Libby and the dynamic between Lily and Egypt and Jack playing with the maghook, gah, I love it. Great chapter, can't wait for the next one!
James018 chapter 7 . 3/25/2013
Please continue!
Greysouthpaw chapter 7 . 2/16/2013
Oooh another great chapter with some damn good twists in it. I want to know what happened to JJ..

The only glaring innaccuracy that jumped out at me was Reacher walking out into spotlight of the jeep wearing her night vision goggles. The goggles amplify ALL light sources hundreds of time so bright lights tend to get real bright, her eyes would be seared like tuna steaks ;p

I really liked the detail through Jack's eyes though, it reads like the original author's
Bastetian chapter 7 . 2/9/2013
Oh gods, Astro and Pooh Bear and J.J.! I love how you write the supporting characters, it gives so much to the story.
"Jack, if you really think you can re-assemble an extremely elite group of soldiers without someone noticing, you'd be wrong". "I was just a little bit offended that I wasn't invited."
This is brilliant.
This story is getting all exciting now, love the way Jack and Schofield understand one another but they're still on opposing sides, comraderie and tension all rolled into one. Hope Lily's okay but knowing her, she's probably befriended Egypt and the pair of them have decided to go off on a girl power mission. :p
Bastetian chapter 6 . 12/22/2012
Oh my, Astro! I'm not sure whether I love him for standing up for what he think's is right, or significantly less than love him for betraying his team (some of whom, read: Mother, Scarecrow and Rebound, must have some pretty serious betrayal issues after Ice Station). Either way, great chapter, looking forward to seeing what happens when the two teams collide!
Greysouthpaw chapter 6 . 12/21/2012
Oooh another chapter, loved it! Very intense, so Astro was West's boy all along huh? I did wonder where his loyalties would end up lying.

My only critique, from a military standpoint is that for a night operation, a modern force like the marines would probably take advantage of their superior equipment and utilise night vision goggles (NVG) instead of conventional light sources.

Schemantics ;p

Regardless great chapter, looking forward to the next.
Greysouthpaw chapter 5 . 10/27/2012
Loving the story Goddess. I look forward to finding out more about Egypt; she sounds like she must have an interesting past!

I'm glad you've got your head around the American military ranks, their structure and promotion timeline is way out of wack compared to ours.

A very accurate discription of parachuting, the night jumps are especially frightening :O

Keep up the great work and I hope to have more to read soon.
Bastetian chapter 5 . 10/26/2012
Haha, yay for hitting problems because problems create research and make you re-read books for details! On that note, I think the original mistake was actually Mr Reilly's because all the research I've done says you can be a lieutenant as young as 22 because it's the entry level rank for an officer and to become an officer you either need a college degree or to have been an NCO for a year and be at least 21. They also don't really want recons to be older than 28 - though I gather if you've served for a long time and now happen to be older than 28, that's not a problem but a soldier can't become a recon soldier for the first time after the age of 28. That said, I love the attention to detail in this chapter and I really enjoy your characterisation. And don't worry, your stories are hardly overwhelmed with OC's! Tiffany Kent is a cool character and fills a totally appropriate hole. I don't know if you're planning on involving her in the story more later but I think it would be really interesting to see how she and Schofield interact given that he used to be a pilot. I could see a cute mentoring type friendship there.
Bastetian chapter 4 . 10/22/2012
A gorgeous chapter my friend. I love how you're really taking the time to establish each character and give them such greater depth. Bigfoot is one of my favourite characters and I adore the way you've described him here. He's such a gentle giant! Although I'm all curious as to what he did to potentially deserve being thrown off the team? And you accuse me of cliffhangers!
Love the inclusion of Jack Walsh and his daughter - that's definitely something for Egypt and Schofield to bond over.
The callsign here and explanation of it flows so much better than in the previous version. There really is no comparison. I'm thinking Mother and Egypt could become a very dangerous combination and a great friendship!
"The coldest, staunchest Marines usually carried the most baggage, the toughest pasts, the deepest wounds." So true and exactly what makes these characters so awesome - that they don't let that baggage weigh them down but they rise above it. That's what makes a real hero, people that go on when they ought to have given up and Egypt is well on her way to joining them!
Jellybean chapter 4 . 10/17/2012
Nice! I love your character portrayal, especially Egypt. At first when she showed up I was like 'he we go another original character who is brilliant yet damaged yaddayaddayadda' but she's awesome :D I particularly like how you give reason to her temperamental acts/flaws and give her thinking behind them. hehe it all seems to make perfect sense to her. The whole thing is just very naturally written. Thank you.
Bastetian chapter 3 . 9/1/2012
Aww, a chapter for me! Thanks hun!
Go Astro!
We were chatting about believability before and I reckon the fact that Egypt isn't always likeable, doesn't play well in a team and loses her temper makes her a much more believable character which ironically, makes her more likeable because we can all relate to an imperfect character.
All in all, a good chapter. The pace of the story has really improved. You're taking it much slower, giving the readers heaps more details. I don't particularly see a huge change in your writing style between this chapter and the previous ones. Maybe it's just that this one involves an action sequence so it's more present tense and movement verbs (sorry, linguist, has to notice...) whereas the other scenes have been character and dialogue driven but it works well.
Bastetian chapter 2 . 8/14/2012
Interesting, this chapter was never in the earlier version was it? It's really good to hear those little details about Egypt, how she found out she could read thoth and her first interactions with Schofield's team, who I don't think were in the original either right? Looking forward to seeing how they affect the dynamics of the story.
Bastetian chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
This story has improved out of sight. I liked Egypt before - she was always kickass - but now she's absolutely BAMF! Made even more so by the acknowledgement of her faults as well. That's what makes her a very real character that we can relate to. I remember before you were worried about her being Mary-Sueish. Well, here she couldn't be any less. She's a great companion for Schofield and an awesome OC. One detail I noticed - hey eye colour has changed! (Right?) I seem to remember in the old story they were blue and I made a comment about how it would be more effective if they were brown to match someone elses (no spoilers there I hope...)
Your attention to detail is so much better and the story is so much richer for it. Where you've done your research properly is really coming through and gives a nice ring of authenticity. You really have matured as a writer and I'm going to be so excited to read these new chapters! This story was good before. Now, it's going to be one of the best out there.
As for the difficulties in the Scarecrow series timeline - we shall have a long conversation about this later, it's one of my pet peeves! :p
Great work on this chapter, looking forward to more!